r/autismUK

I (33M) just went to my first festival in over a decade sort of hoping that the work/therapy etc I’d done in that time would mean I’d be able to enjoy myself there in a more fulfilling, healthy way, but I had to leave after barely more than a day. I feel so overstimulated and tired and stressed and am genuinely baffled that so many people consider it to be their idea of a good time when to me it was like a perfectly crafted sensory nightmare (the fact that it was raining quite badly the whole time def did not help.) Being surrounded by people being very loud, having no real place to retreat to, having to wade through mud to use the toilet, being cold and wet pretty much constantly, I could go on.

I know I shouldn’t but I feel disappointed with myself for not being able to have the kind of fun I wanted to have, and that I was so distressed by something that literally thousands of other people considered great fun. I’m proud that I recognised that I wasn’t enjoying it and left when I needed to though, but yea, frustrating to be made so aware yet again of my disability.

I don’t really have a question, just needed to vent. If anyone else has similar experiences it would be cathartic to hear them.

I'm looking for more ways to regulate myself at home and I keep getting sponsored posts on social media for the Nesti pod, which looks like a body sock thing (I'm not great with words, sorry). It's £50 on sale which is still a lot of money and I couldn't find enough online reviews for it. Anyone here tried them/got one?

M,44

I think because I was still floating in-between therapy I didn't think much of it for the first 6 month to a year, even if it did clear a lot of things up regarding interaction. But for some unknown reason I pushed it aside.

Now, after reading some books and doing some research, I swear my life become sort of heavier. What's that all about? I'm worried the more I read or intellectualize the crazier and more disconnected I've start to feel. Because my bonding wasn't ever great to begin with!

It actually makes me feel like an impostor.

I think perhaps because I've gotten through the last 4 decades (somehow) without any major concerns, I can't help but second guess the diagnosis. Yet, on the other end of that I've actually amounted to very little and now I see why. Ive been going round in circles.

I wouldn't say I have major sensory issues (if any at all), but I now see scripting has been playing a massive part in my life. No wonder I've had plethora characters to switch between. I'd say executive dysfunction is more than likely a thing too. That's actually stalled me a fair amount when it's come to more forward with a form or work.

I can see why I have always felt like I've lived on the outside.

Please tell me this is normal? From what I gather, these symptoms have always been there, just cleverly hidden. So I'm aware nothing been added. But do I have to find some sort of baseline before I settle back into a reasonably normal life?

...assuming I get to have a normal life?

Is it really a gift or is that some online reddit jargon post to make me feel good? Am I expected to find a talent underneath, somewhere?

Any tips would be greatly appreciated, even some books. Where do people actually find resources because there seems to be lack of any adult meet up in Norfolk. Charity-shop work has been the closest I've come to finding like minded people, so at least that's something.

(unmasking for life/unmasking autism by Dr devon is as far as I got to reading)

I'm super grateful that i have the privilege to go on holiday, especially to another country, but i just want to see if anyone else finds it really stressful and overstimulating? For example I’m currently on holiday with my family and I’m finding it all really stressful (All of the travelling, the language barrier, not having access to safe foods due to them not being in the country, not sleeping in my usual room, etc). To be honest i kinda just want to go back home :( Does anyone else feel this way?

Do not use this post in a video or on any platform outside of this subreddit. I doubt people would make a video on something like this but there’s some assholes out there. If this post gets found by my mum or brother, it will ruin my life

For a quick understanding of my situation, recently my mum accused me of trying to poison the family purposely and said “I know your not thick enough to do that without thinking” just because I washed my hands in our kitchen sink that was full of meat, and an open bag of lardons I didn’t know was there because it was under all of it.

And when telling me off for asking my brother to leave after I hid in my room to avoid the embarrassment after I fell down the stairs (i admit, I should’ve explained to him more why I wanted him to go and just told him I was okay as that’s why he followed me upstairs, but the way I cry is the gasping so hard involuntarily that it’s hard to get a word out), I was just looking at her and not talking. she then said “you better fix your expression or you’ll get stabbed when you go to college, and I won’t be able to do anything about it. and I wouldn’t even if I could cause I’ve warned you enough times”. the “warning” being berating me that is.

I’ve been told for a long time (mostly by bots, which I’m not proud of) that I need to call Childline and get help, especially now that I’m stuck with no connection to outside of my house other than my online classes, but by the time the summer holidays come around, I’ll be completely on my own for 6 weeks. mum is starting to take away my electronics for stuff like refusing to help her with the garden after she insulted me to my face, or the most recent time where I refused to strip my bed because I didn’t have any replacement sheets for that night if I did (luckily a delivery showed up unexpectedly later so I had sheets for that night), but because I refused to, mum took my stuff for 3 days.

the thing is, I’m just getting scared that she might hit her breaking point one day and I’ll be the target. I know she loves me, but it’s probably her generational trauma stuff that is making her also hate/resent me. I have a big ”I hate that I love you” relationship with her now and I keep my distance as much as I can. she sees grey-rocking as ”being in a bad mood”, and as I said with the college thing, she’ll turn even a blank stare into ammunition.

i’m considering asking my current tutor if I can continue my lessons throughout the summer holiday to “keep my momentum going”, but I’m not sure if she can/will do it. I have a hand injury so I use my iPad to write during my lessons, therefore I get it back during my punishments. if I stop having the tutoring, then I won’t have any business near it for multiple days, which is fucking torture

Sorry if I rambled, I’m really stressed right now and exhausted. but yeah, what’s your story? Do you think it’s safe for me to call them or will they send someone and make things 10x worse?

Edit: Forgot to mention, I’m 16 and in the UK so we start college at this age

Fuck streaming services, fuck the governments, fuck the countries, fuck the borders, fuck Discord, fuck Reddit, fuck YouTube, fuck Apple, fuck Android, fuck Samsung, fuck Windows, fuck Microsoft, fuck Sony, fuck Xbox & Playstation wars, fuck everyone, fuck sleeping, fuck heatwaves & summer, fuck waking up, fuck going to the same place doing the same shit everyday for the rest of your life and most of all fuck the world for putting people with autism down and giving us no choices, I feel so stuck in a system that doesn’t want me where I don’t belong. Life is so difficult I can’t make friends I can’t find friends or people who are not weird (I mean people who just drink and smoke and want to piss away their lives and don’t care about anything, no ambition). I am so so sick of everything I am sick of feeling like I have to do this because someone says so I am sick of having to do things because people say so I am sick of waking up everyday to the same bullshit everyday I am so physically exhausted my body feels like it could just shatter at any point I am so fucking tired I don’t know what’s wrong with me anymore. I am mentally exhausted my visions blurry I’m so stressed I feel like there’s this heavy fucking weight all over my body that is dragging me deep into the ground, I can’t escape.

I’ve two children who are autistic and one who also has arfid. We went on holiday a few months ago to Lanzarote and everything went really well because there was a McDonald’s close by to our hotel. It was the only thing we could get her to eat that wasn’t chips from restaurants but she was happy doing this. So we had alottt of McDonald’s over the week lol I’m looking to know if anyone has went anywhere that had a McDonald’s close by that they would recommend. We are hoping to take them away again in march/April time as we went in April and it was quite enough. We were thinking of going to the same place again however there just a lot for the kids to do. I appreciate any recommendations ☺️

Hello! I’m just going to cut straight to the point, I can’t quite believe my life has come to this. I’ve recently started working on my mental health and I’m doing better. What often keeps me feeling low is the lack of connection with others. I have a friendship group I suppose- not connected to them, they like to go out to drink and take drugs. I am not able to connect to work colleagues - gossipers and general weather talk etc- it’s not for me, I find it painful and these people try to smother me all of the time

I absolutely love my own space, my own time and space alone is essential to me feeling well but these thoughts about not having any connection don’t half hurt 😞 . 33, F, fantastic job, a lovely home, it’s not all bad.

does anybody else miss this something that they don’t have? A connection with somebody who gets us? You know .. somebody to check in with throughout the day, somebody who is interested in our life?

I am undiagnosed- self diagnosed, on a waiting list but there’s no doubt about it I do have autism.

So yeah … best loneliness coping tips? How do we get the balance? Is it possible ?

Hey guys. In a months time me and two others will have to present an hours long presentation as part of our job. But it’s a bit too late to back out now and I’ll firm it. If anyone here could give me advice on presenting and public speaking as an autistic who hates being perceived pls that would help me a lot. How did you get used to it? Is there anything in particular that helps you calm down before and after? I’m a really shy quiet person and im super scared. I haven’t done public speaking since my GCSE English speech and that was a good 5 years ago…

Question for my fellow autistic people…
Does anyone else ever feel like a meltdown gets… stuck?

Lately I’ve been anxiously sweating all day, shaking, feeling incredibly irritable, and carrying this overwhelming sense that I NEED a huge cry or a full meltdown to get everything out. But it’s like my brain and body won’t let it happen.

Instead, all that stress just stays trapped inside. I feel like I’m constantly on the edge, but the release never comes. Sometimes it lasts for days or even weeks before it finally breaks.

I’m not talking about being sad or having a panic attack exactly—it feels more like my nervous system is overloaded but unable to complete the meltdown.
Has anyone else experienced this? If so, what does it feel like for you, and have you found anything that helps your body finally release it?

Recently diagnosed with combined ADHD & a separate assessment confirmed Autism too.
I don’t really even understand what they are—so will be educating myself.
Then what? What happens now? How do i be a better person? Or is this just how it is & the labels give me an excuse for being the way i am? Should I be reaching out for medication?

Hi everyone,

I'm a 21-year-old male in the UK, and over the past couple of years I've started wondering whether I might be autistic. I'm not looking for a diagnosis from Reddit, but I'd like to know whether the traits I'm experiencing sound like something that's worth discussing with my GP and pursuing an autism assessment.

Some of the things I've noticed are:

- Since I was around 14 years old, I've cut my nails and shaved every Wednesday without fail. If I miss it, it feels wrong.

- I really struggle when plans change unexpectedly. Recently, my plans changed late at night and I became extremely distressed, shouting and struggling to regulate my emotions. A few days later, a delay to another plan also caused me to become very upset.

- I've been told throughout my life that I come across as blunt or overly direct, even when I don't mean to upset anyone. I usually think I'm just being honest or factual.

- I develop very intense interests. For example, I recently became fascinated by AI and spent weeks learning how reasoning models work, how they're trained, and the technical details behind them.

- I prefer routines and predictability, and uncertainty makes me anxious.

- I tend to overthink situations and worry about things I can't predict or control.

- experiencing burnout from time to time

I also have nightmares, hypervigilance, emotional numbness, and some unresolved trauma, so I'm aware that not everything I experience is necessarily related to autism.

I'm planning to speak to my GP, but before I do I'd like to hear from people who have been assessed or diagnosed.

Do these experiences sound like they would justify asking for an autism assessment, or do they sound more consistent with something else, such as anxiety, OCD, ADHD, PTSD, or another condition?

I'd really appreciate any thoughts or experiences. Thank you.

LOVE this is FINALLLYYY being implemented in the UK. September of 2026👏👏👏. I recently found this out applying for a disabled persons railcard , right now if u have a bus card you can get a railcard, i have a concessionary card anyway but didnt find out until recently that was allowed as evidence , but i think because alot of people who are neurodivergent don’t have one it’s just not enough so this is absolutely great. I personally due to sensory issues can only be in first class (every single time ive been in standard ive had an absolute sensory meltdown i cry every time so i just simply refuse to book a standard ticket now) , promise i’m not entitled. Obviously first class is super expensive but with a railcard , a train from where i am to most places i would ever need to go like London, Manchester, Birmingham first class is only like 50-90 pound which is incredible. But So happy they’re finally putting a neurodiverse diagnosis as evidence thats acceptable. This is a STEP FORWARD!!!

9 year old daughter struggles at red lights, stop signs, and any sort of stop and go traffic. She yells and screams "GOOOO MOMMY!!" She tries to back seat drive. She can't get out of her carseat but if others are in reach she will get so frustrated that she becomes physically aggressive- pulls hair and throws things. This has created dangerous situations for us.

We've tried explaining the traffic rules, and using logic like, "If we go now when the other cars are going, we will crash." When we tell her it is a red light, she says, "No, it's green."- She knows very well it is red but she is a contrarian.

We've also tried watching movies in the car, audiobooks, playing her favorite movies, and letting her play on her tablet, specific car only toys, snacks, etc.

All we can think of now is just to seat others out of her reach, and to wear ear plugs. Any other ideas?

I've got my adult assessment tomorrow (19F) with Psychiatry UK and I've been so anxious all of today and yesterday. I'm so scared and nervous and I've just been having small meltdowns all day.

I don't know why I'm so scared for it, maybe it's because I'm afraid he might say that I'm not autistic and just blame it on something else or just say that I'm faking it.

The assessor I've gone for has amazing reviews and people have said that he's very empathetic, caring and puts you at ease as soon as the assessment starts but I'm still really anxious!

It might help me feel better to hear positive experiences and maybe get some advice, please?

Edit: I had nothing to worry about he was really nice and I do in fact have autism AND adhd

41 year old queer person here (he/they).
Back in Feb I was struggling so much with my mental health that I was incapable of doing even basic things, couldn’t do basic work tasks, was in a frozen state most of the time or doomscrolling to avoid the horror of being completely incapacitated, I was waking up feeling more exhausted every day and desperately pushing through each day then each hour then each minute to the point that I couldn’t handle it anymore. I was self medicating with weed as it was the only thing that seemed to pull me out of the frozen state but it was temporary and wasn’t sustainable so went to the GP. I’ve had a prolonged period (around 3 years) of bereavements, close family members with cancer and intense work stress - I felt like I was running on fumes. I’d completely isolated myself and was barely hanging on. The GP prescribed sertraline - was very reluctant to taking it as I haven’t fared well on that kind of medication in the past. The sertraline make me feel like I was on drugs all day every day without the happy feelings and whilst I started to have energy again and the fatigue wasn’t as crippling, I started to spiral because the brain fog hadn’t lifted and I was still unable to function but it felt like my brain now had the energy to worry more about it.

After a crappy and unsupportive interaction with my boss about 2 weeks after starting sertraline, I took time off and started to spiral trying to figure out how to fix myself. I had just been diagnosed with anxiety disorder and was referred for ADHD assessment (felt fairly sure it was there just never got assessed) but the spiral was completely out of control and I didn’t sleep for 4 days. I had what the GP thinks was a sertraline induced manic episode with psychosis. GP was referring me to the crisis team but they wouldn’t touch me because it was “a medication issue” and I got passed between them for days. It felt like my brain completely shut down. Completely dissociated and was awake but not conscious at all. The crisis team finally started taking me seriously and started to come to my home every 2 days and then passed me on to the Community Treatment Team. They have been mostly terrible and not supportive at all. I feel like they’re just biding time until they can say I’m “better”. The month following my “breakdown” I had crazy symptoms: extreme exhaustion, physical heaviness, brain fog, muscle pain/cramps, restless legs, very little broken sleep, identity issues, intense need to fight back, speech issues/stammer, trouble word-finding, returning depression with panic/overwhelm, obsessive rumination loops, hyper-sensitive to sounds/smells/feelings etc, temperature spikes and over-heating in emotional situations, eating/self-care feels impossible, seasickness-like imbalance, memory issues, forgetfulness, slow-thinking, mood up and down like a yoyo and suicidal ideation.

I got my ADHD diagnosis soon after and she said she believes I also have Autism. Always considered myself as having “quirks” but was seen as a fairly high achiever for a lot of my life so never took it further. but during the breakdown/mania my brain felt like the most powerful thing in the world and it was like my whole life opened up in my brain and I could see repeating patterns of behaviour my whole life like moving constantly and never being able to stick a job more than a few years and I was able to pinpoint everything that pointed towards my neurodivergence.

The CTT finally sent me a queer case worker with AuDHD and after seeing me for around a month she suggested that she believes it’s severe Autistic/ADHD burnout and after reading more about it I was overcome with emotion because it finally felt like someone understood what was wrong with me after begging for an explanation for 2 months.

At this point, it’s been 4 months since the breakdown. They’ve given me mirtazapine (I have also been on amitriptyline for years) and I’m waiting on an autism diagnosis. But I’m now suffering with the most severe fatigue of my life. Executive dysfunction is the worst it’s ever been. Self care feels completely impossible. Need daily support. I feel like this is bone deep and it’s going to last forever (logically I know that’s not the case but can’t help be be overtaken by the thought). Struggling with monumental grief that the person I was before feels like they’re long gone and I’m not sure what is left in this shell. I keep getting told to listen to my body and rest but I feel like I’m just rotting away. After 2-3 solid months of mostly being in bed and being unable to initiate basic self care it’s really getting to me. It’s made me feel a lot better to read people’s stories on here and see people have went through similar stuff and come out the other side but ngl it’s been ROUGH and I could do with hearing from people who have faced something similar and are out the other side. Especially those who have been through the NHS MH system. I have historically been a highly sociable, intelligent and high achieving person my whole life and I suddenly feel incapable of the most basic of things.

Sorry to get so HEAVY but I felt like this would be a good place to let it all out because the mental health teams in the UK are not made for ND queer people - that much is plainly clear! Any support or guidance on how to handle this awful part of recovery would be very much appreciated 🫶

Hi everyone, I've been diagnosed since I was 10/11 years old, I used to get full rate DLA when I was younger before the system changed to PIP and then I stop receiving any benefits for my ASD.

Between now and then I haven't received any help or support for my autism, other than trying out some anti depressants, up until a few months ago when I went down the route of medical cannabis, and seeking a variety of support such as face to face therapy etc that is still in the works, as well as reapplying for UC and PIP - after experiencing, and still experiencing extreme burnout which has ultimately left me unable to work.

(I've never been able to hold down a job for longer than a few months at a time, with my longest employment being around a year - due to a repetitive loop of burn out, overworking and social, learning and communication issues.)

Basically, I'm worried about the lack of evidence I have to support both my capability forms and my pip application, as I have only really started to seek help within recent months - if anyone has any advice I would be forever grateful!

I’m curious to know if any other ASD folks find that no matter what you’re doing or what is happening, time passes by at the same slow rate. I’m constantly hearing others saying things like “Time is dragging today”, or “How is he in school already? Time goes by so fast!”. I just can’t relate and find it really weird.

The strangest thing for me is when people say their life has gone so fast. I’m 44 and being a child feels a very long time ago, exactly as it should. My life seems very long and I honestly struggle to believe I’m (potentially) only half way.

I did wonder if this is because I am so detail orientated. I notice small things constantly, what I believe people call mindfulness. Only I can’t turn that on and off, it’s just my life.

Interested to hear your experiences.

Hi all, got a question about what to do.

I was diagnosed with Autism just over a week ago after a very long waiting list with the NHS. I am “happy” I am diagnosed because I feel seen finally.

But, I feel upset, they used the DSM-V criteria and point 3 of it is about it being present in childhood.

At the time of forms being submitted I did not have a childhood informant as I do not have a good relationship with my parents. Therefore they could not include point 3 in DSM as a valid point.

I have spoken to one of my parents as we have made up (for now I suppose). She could definitely provide actual insight to the fact these behaviours are long standing.

I feel upset because I’m missing a point I definitely should have, even if I understand the fact they can’t check it off without a childhood informant. I feel “less autistic” than others who have the childhood point checked if that makes sense.

My questions are, would you personally ask them to consider the childhood point if I can provide filled in forms with the childhood informant?
Or am I blowing this out of proportion and it really doesn’t matter?
Would they somehow magically change my diagnosis from Autism to non Autistic if I included it? I’m worried about them thinking I’m not actually Autistic all of a sudden.
Would I need to go through another assessment or would it just be added to the report?

Thank you.

Like, less than an hour ago. I kinda just started crying then calmed down. I'm in shock. I didnt expect this.

Not that ASD is a bad thing, not at all- i just didn't expect this outcome and its a lot to handle right now. I have the closure I wanted, so I'm happy on that regard. Just.. kinda dumbfounded

Thank you to whoever reads this