u/Fresh_Struggle5645

I went through RTC and ended up getting my assessment very quickly.

I was hoping for an in-person assessment because I'm able to act more 'normal' over video call. In the end, though, it was 2 video calls: one yesterday and one today.

At the end of the call yesterday, the assessor basically said she thought I had ASD but would need to agree with the second assessor. The one today flat out said at the end of the call that, in her opinion, I do have ASD.

I thought you had to wait for your report to find out, but I guess I know what it will say.

I don't know how to feel, really. I was expecting them to say I didn't have it.

It was a weird experience.

I have to travel occasionally for work (more often at this time of year).

There's something about being alone in hotel rooms that really is my undoing.

I had 2 nights away for work this week and, whilst I wouldn't say I binged as such, I definitely mindlessly overate. Not even anything 'fun' - just bread, mostly.

Of course my weight went up by an unrealistically large number for just 3 days and the amount that I did actually eat. Which is pretty upsetting since I had just managed to get myself into a healthy weight range... Now back overweight again.

It's really discouraging when I'd been doing well at home for so long.

Main thing now is not to let this spiral and become an every day thing now that I'm home.

I dream about a future where they build flats with a rubbish chute in each flat. Taking the rubbish out to the communal dumpsters for me is extremely high stress.

It would be amazing just to be able to throw out your rubbish and have it be gone.

I'm thinking that scene in Star Wars where they go down a rubbish chute that leads into an alien's stomach - minus the alien.

Or like those rubbish chutes you see in American sitcoms in the hallways of apartment complexes, only one for each apartment.

I leant over a surface which I consider contaminated because I have used some specific cleaning chemicals on it months ago and it has also had shoes on it.

I *know* my top didn't touch it because I was so careful.

But I'm still worried that my top did touch it and it's such a struggle to go on without changing my clothes and washing myself/anything I've touched since.

I'm trying to resist because if e.g. I changemy top then I've just accepted that the top did touch it and then that means I have to clean a whole bunch of other things.

I'm tired. I have already changed clothes several times today before this incident and had showered just prior. I really do not want to have to do this.

How do you cope in these situations?

28F, 164cm. My weight/food have always been a struggle for me in one way or another, but the past few years have been a truly bumpy ride, with me bouncing from one extreme to the other.

I went from 25kg and hospitalised to 87kg with insane binging - we're talking >10k calories per day.

Been eating at 1800 calories since late summer 2025 and losing slowly at 0.5kg a week. I've also continued to be active with walking.

After topping out at a BMI of 32.3 and being denied a GLP1 by my GP due to my history, I was at rock bottom and despaired of ever seeing a healthy BMI number again. But today, I was 67.05kg on my scales, which puts me at BMI 24.9 exactly.

I still look overweight because my muscle mass % is probably still a lot lower than normal due to the severe muscle wasting I had previously experienced. But it still feels like a massive win.

I was sitting on the underground (subway) this morning when one of the most strikingly beautiful women I have ever seen in real life got on. She looked like Kiera Knightly and could have been a model. Maybe she was. She was the sort of woman who you see in a crowd of normal commuters and can't quite believe they belong to the same species.

As soon as he laid eyes on her, the man sitting next to me leapt up to offer her his seat. It was so quick it seemed instinctual. He had been sitting next to me for a while at that point and had not offered his seat to any number of more 'eligible' commuters (such as older people). He wasn't getting off the tube at that stop and remained standing afterwards.

To put this into context: it is no small thing to get a seat on the London underground in rush hour, and ordinarily people are very reluctant to give them up, even for those who clearly aren't able to stand.

This woman was young, not disabled, not visibly pregnant, nor did she have one of those 'offer me a seat' badges on. Yet, she didn't seem surprised in the slightest, nor did she object - or even acknowledge the man at all - just sat down as if this was the natural order of things. Because perhaps to her it is. I would not be surprised if, wherever she goes, people fall over themselves to accommodate her.

To be clear: this didn't annoy me at all. I was completely in awe of her myself, even if not to the extent that I was prepared to give up my hard won seat. But I was impressed to see such a clear example of pretty privilege in action. I'd always been sceptical about whether it was really such a big thing, but this has me wondering what it is like to experience life armed with those kinds of looks. What other things that the rest of us fight over would be so readily given as to be taken for granted?

I bought a mosquito net (not a treated one).

I have to wash things before I can use them. It said it was washable at temperatures under 40 degrees celsius (104 degrees Farenheit), so I put it in the washing machine at 30 degrees celsius (86 degrees Farenheit) with some dettol laundry sanitiser.

I couldn't figure out how to remove the hoop (which I have since learned is in fact removable) so I left it in. The hoop is metal with a plastic coating. I'm worried now that this will have started to leach toxic chemicals as a result of being in the washing machine. (Although note that it was only in there for about 10mins at most before I realised my mistake, stopped the cycle, and managed to remove the hoop).

I can't get this thought out of my head. I am so worried.

I am seriously considering buying another one even though it was expensive (£33). However, if I do that, it will be a waste of money and will also validate the thought that it has become dangerous - in which case I'll then need to wash/throw out everything it's touched. That's going to be a big project since it is currently on my drying rack on top of a bunch of clean laundry.

But my thoughts keep circling back to this and I know the fear won't go away until I've purged my environment of the net/hoop and got a new 'safe' one.

EDIT: I bought a new one. God I fucking hate this and myself. As if its not enough that I'm spending about £100 a month on antibacterial wipes alone.