u/pocket__cub

I went to a consultation earlier this week, to see whether it's worth pursuing an autism diagnosis (UK).

The doctor told me that some neurodivergent people who have had a lot going on (in terms of adverse childhood experiences and mental illness) in their childhood and/or adolescence can be missed at assessment, due to the amount of information they have and the fact that some symptoms can overlap with trauma and other conditions.

I have a historical diagnosis of depression and anxiety and was abused in my teenage years by my stepmum (though struggled socially and with sensory issues as a child, right down to being a baby and both my brother and mum are autistic). I am also transgender, so that made teen years more difficult due to puberty.

Another issue I have is that I'm very in the moment emotionally and struggle to empathise/feel my past mental states. I don't know if that makes sense? It is similar to how I often also don't realise I'm hungry until I feel signs like tiredness and get the shakes.

I am also a bad storyteller, so it was hard during the one hour to really line up what has happened in my history. I've had quite a busy life. I was diagnosed with bipolar type 2 (possibly?) and also had a query of BPD in 2012... However I am a mental health practitioner and I can confidently say I wouldn't meet the diagnostic criteria for BPD and I've been unmedicated from bipolar for a decade and no symptoms.

So yeah, basically the outcome of the consultation was to seek a formulation with a psychologist, to try and get a timeline and understand my history better, so if I look into an assessment I can also bring it to help the team understand more about me. In all honesty, I also think it will help me to understand myself better.

Like, I'm ok. I have a job and a loving partner... However a lot of the year due to masking (whatever is going on), task switching in work, the lights and noise in my workplace I am treading water with feeling burned out. I don't think I am still impacted by my trauma, I am not depressed and I am only anxious when things change suddenly or if I am having to enter new social situations. I am just impaired and a lot of the year I struggle to do much more than work. My executive function goes out the window, I struggle to retain information etc

I was wondering if anyone had done this before? And if it was helpful?

I have been a bit of a hermit the past few years and am hoping to get out more.

I was wondering whether people have any recommendations for places that play rock music (I'm fairly open to different genres of rock, but I'm also in my 40s so somewhere that has a mixed or older crowd)?

I've heard the owner of Howl is a wrong'un, but open to other places.

Ta in advance for any advice.

I have hysto (laparoscopy/keyhole) in October in Leicester, UK.

I was told people usually have five weeks off work. I'm a community mental health nurse who works 13 hour days and I know I need to be able to do an emergency stop safely in my car. My job is mentally demanding and I need to be able to safely break away if grabbed or do CPR if needed as part of work.

I was wondering what people's experiences of hysto recovery are and how long you had off work, especially if you do a similar job to me?

Thank you.

I am looking into a private autism assessment and I have a lot of ADHD symptoms too. I have a consultation with a private healthcare provider (Aspen) coming up to discuss options.

If I had a combined assessment and was diagnosed with ADHD or AuDHD and recommended meds, I'm guessing that as I paid for the diagnosis, longer term my GP is unlikely to take over the prescription after titration?

How much do ADHD meds cost? I'd be likely getting a loan for the assessment so I'm not flush for cash and can't afford hundreds a month longer term.

Note: My local ICB just brought in a 2 year rule for being allowed an assessment under Right to Choose, hence looking private. I already had an autism assessment over a year ago and want a second opinion as they didn't take into account masking and there was misinformation in the notes. I am getting conflicting information about whether or not I'm allowed a second opinion through Right to Choose, so not risking two years for a joint assessment to be told no and need a re-referral.

I've paid for an initial consultation at Aspen Healthcare to see whether they think it's worth paying to see them for a second opinion on an autism assessment I had in 2014.

I don't want to go into details about my original assessment, other than the notes I requested have wrong information and I want to go somewhere recommended as trans friendly.

I was wondering if anyone is happy to share experiences of Aspen. Also if they could please share timelines of what happened?

Thank you.

I saw a consultant in January for surgery at Leicester General Hospital and was told I'd likely be having it later this year (eight months). I called today to ask if they knew a rough time period for surgery and was told to expect at least a 12 to 18 month wait. They can't give any more information than that and they will see if they can add me to another surgeon's list as the one I saw isn'tseeing many people now.

I was originally referred in February 2025. It's part of my gender transition and I don't expect to be in front of people with greater health needs... I have turned down a couple of career related things already and guess everything is potentially on hold until mid 2027?

I was wondering whether this is a typical wait for NHS hysterectomy when it's not urgent?

Any idea of the level of communication I can expect?

Not asking for medical advice so much as I'm seeking people's experiences.

I was referred to the ADHD Single Point of Access around the beginning of June and a couple of weeks ago they asked for some screening forms and then sent a text saying within a month I'll be called for an appointment.

I was wondering if anyone had used them and what happens at the appointment? Do they assess whether they think I have ADHD so they can refer me to be assessed for ADHD?

Is there a big wait to speak to them?

Are they fairly validating? I had a bad experience with the Leeds autism service around 12 years ago and in general, I hate going to Leeds services for mental health or neurodivergence stuff.

Thank you for any experiences shared and feel free to message me.

*** Note: Sorry for asking, I'm just tired and in constant burnout cycles and I want to know whether it's going to be a waste of time

I have tried to hide my neurodivergence most of my life, to the extent of learning eye contact and body language, reading books and articles and speaking with sympathetic friends to fit in.

Some of this also involves trying to not stim and also trying to play down how much things affect me, for example sensory things, people not being direct/saying one thing and meaning another, changes to my routine and tasks I need to do.

I'm in my 40s now and I just can't do this anymore. Constant cycles of burnout and low mood/motivation, whilst feeling the need to keep moving and doing things. My brain rarely quietens down.

I have wondered whether masking is actually causing me harm and how to mask less (in safer environments). I want to feel less like I'm treading water constantly.

How do you mask? What happens when you mask less? Is masking multifaceted and have you found ways to drop parts of masking that makes your day less exhausting?

Is there a great difference between having s combined ADHD and autism assessment, or two separate assessments?

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I've been looking at right to choose autism assessments and my ADHD referral has been sent to a single point of access team. I found a clinic I like the look of and saw they do combined assessments.

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I wonder if this would be less exhausting than two separate assessments and if it might find any nuances about how ADHD and autism might interact if I have both?

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Does anyone have any knowledge on this?

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I can't get a GP appointment for at least a month, so have time to think about it.

Sorry if this is a silly question... But is sick pay entitlement based on time working for the NHS or time in a particular trust?

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If I move trusts, would my sick pay entitlement go back to what it was when I first qualified four years ago?

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Thanks for any advice.

Montrose Health Group - RTC

Good afternoon.

Has anyone been assessed through Right to choose with Montrose Health Group?

I am considering them for an autism and ADHD assessment and they are fairly local to me.

Can you share experiences if comfortable?

I am looking for experiences to inform who I'll choose. The list I was sent had them as a shorter waiting list. I would rather do face to face than over videocall if possible, however I guess if my mum needs to go it may be a videocall.

I'd also really like some coaching or CBT to help me in my life if possible.

Thanks

Good afternoon.

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Has anyone been assessed through Right to choose with Montrose Health Group?

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I am considering them for an autism assessment and they are fairly local to me.

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Can you share experiences if comfortable?

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Also, are they good for high masking people?

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I am looking for experiences to inform who I'll choose. The list I was sent had them as a shorter waiting list. I would rather do face to face than over videocall if possible.

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Thanks

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Sorry if this is a random one...

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I'm looking into an ADHD assessment and an autism second opinion through Right to choose).

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I had an autism assessment 12 years ago and sought the report through subject access. They mentioned me not identifying with either gender and I remember them saying how someone whose gender presented like me also sought an assessment recently and was also not autistic. It felt weird and also like, why does it have to be a thing to be brought up? I am also puzzled/unhappy by other aspects of the report too...

Note: I am calling this out as the NHS clinic in Leeds. Someone I met who works there now has said they are better with autism presentations in women and AFAB people and take into account masking

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Anyway, I was wondering if anyone could recommend any good right to choose providers for ADHD and autism. I don't want me being trans to be brought into it, but also somewhere that understands I might not present like a cis male.

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Thank you.

Good afternoon. I was wondering if anyone is versed in understanding assessments for autism and what they mean.

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I had one 12 years ago. I don't know if I think all was accurate. Like it said that I sought the assessment because my friends are autistic and I have read about it.

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The things I was querying specifically were:

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1. Being able to have spontaneous and reciprocal conversation

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2. Making eye contact

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3. Being able to demonstrate theory of mind and imagination

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4. Not meeting ADI criteria for development and communication

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5. Mentioning I have friends, but not mentioning historical social struggles and bullying

6. Saying I don't have compulsions... What does this mean?

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Can my learned behaviour and gender influence some of the above (I'm trans and was a woman at the time).

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Can autistic people not have an imagination? I am sure there are autistic artists and writers.

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Hi all, I am UK based and was wondering if anyone could answer these questions...

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I put in a subject access request for an adult autism assessment done 12 years ago and not sure how I feel about the actual assessment...

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I will summarise:

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1. It says I was seeking the assessment as I had friends who are autistic and had read about it (I actually struggle a lot with trying to mimic people, sensory issues, change etc).

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2. It said that I manage routine fine and have no collections or compulsions

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3. That I struggle with reading and understanding people, however notes I make good eye contact and can read facial expressions in the ADOS. Also, I can do theory of mind?

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4. It mentions ADI criteria for abnormality of development. My mum said I struggled socially and with sensory stuff as a child. Not sure if that's what it means?

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5. That I don't identify with either gender (I'm a trans man, but presented as non binary at the time)... Is this relevant?

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I was wondering if people understand what a lot of this means? I find some of the wording a bit patronising. I'm not trained in doing these assessments myself, but I am a mental health nurse.

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With regards to communication, I have learned a lot of social scripts, to be reciprocal (from negative feedback that I only talk about myself and interests) and I learned body language and social stuff from books and forums.

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Can somebody explain "theory of mind" to me? Is it something unobtainable for autistic people?

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Note: I'm aware I may not be autistic, even if I have a lot of symptoms which impair me at times, to the point I isolate myself or need time off work. I am just wondering if a second opinion is justified.

Has the autism criteria or the way tests are approached changed over the years in the UK? It seems like a very rigid assessment and doesn't take into account masking?

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Thanks

I keep on having cycles of burnout due to demands of work.

Right now, my brain feels fried and I am struggling to do tasks I want to do.

I was wondering if anyone else gets cycles of burnout and how they break free from it?

Thanks.

I'm not diagnosed with ADHD, but I've just been referred to right to choose (aADHD and autism) and waiting for them to get in touch... I have a lot of ADHD traits. I hope I'm not overstepping posting for advice...

I have had cycles of burnout most my life. It can last a few days to a few weeks. It's sort of feeling shut down, struggling to engage with tasks, over stimulated, flat, difficulty with decision making and tasks that involve steps....

I have issues with going too hard in work and sometimes out of work, not recognising my capacity (or always when I'm tired, hungry or thirsty) and struggling to shut my brain off. I can focus too hard and then lose track of time. That on top of having to try and socialise with some colleagues (who are nice, but navigating my place in a group conversation or having to consciously read people is hard) and the noise just results in feeling shut down outside work.

So I have called in sick, which is a big thing for me and kind of embarrassing even though it shouldn't be . I am worried about managers questioning my capacity to do my job well. If I go much longer, I will be off for longer... I am just about functioning outside of work as it is, but I come across as highly capable in my job at a cost to my wellbeing outside of work.

So I was wondering if anyone had any advice or tips on how they manage their work life balance and cycles of burnout. I know I'm not diagnosed with ADHD (just dyspraxia), but I'm open to trying to bridge the gap with any techniques whilst I try to figure out what's going on.

Thanks for any advice

Sorry if this is a silly question... I'm pretty burnt out at present so thinking is harder...

I am going to request an ADHD assessment referral and was wondering how I need to prepare for it. Does a GP have a right to refuse a referral?

Note: This would be under right to choose.

Do I just need a few examples of how it affects my life?

Thanks.

Hello all.

I am diagnosed with dyspraxia and live in the UK... Am seeking a second opinion on an autism diagnosis (I had one twelve years ago with the ADOS tool and was near the diagnostic threshold and have ADHD traits) and considering an ADHD assessment.

Amongst many things which feel harder due to the way my brain is, I experience cycles of complete exhaustion. I am not sure how tired some people get after work, but I can struggle to hold a conversation, make decisions or do things which involve sequencing and coordination. I can just feel incredibly flat... It sucks because I love being able to structure my day and when I can't it feels uncomfortable, but I also feel I can't do the things I know helps me feel better. I have a demanding job (mental health nurse) which I am good at, but I get tired by the social aspect of it, the noise in the office and on days where I keep having to shift tasks or try and follow multiple emails...

I honestly feel like my mental energy gets depleted fast. I eat healthily, I don't have signs of depression and I otherwise have a good life. I have had no concerning blood tests either...

I just feel fed up because I am always between services or I don't feel heard... For example, at the autism assessment, they said I am around the threshold for diagnosis, but if they diagnosed me I'd be too complex for mental health input from the teams they had. When I did have a mental health crisis, the community mental health team would not take me because they felt my problems were due to me being trans and advised I join a Facebook group. I haven't been able to access support through occupational heslth in work due to my diagnosis. I am u medicated and have had no "bipolar" related symptoms in over a decade and wonder if I was misdiagnosed.

I sometimes bring up things like the noise in work and people make comments like everyone struggles... And I don't wish to dismiss other people's experiences, but I genuinely don't know if the level of feeling tired and not wanting to be touched or interacted with after is normal for a lot of people?

Anyway, apologies for the ramble, I think I just wanted to be heard...

But I was also wondering if what I wrote is relatable to others and if so, what is helpful to people who experience this reaction to work and noisy/social environments?

Good afternoon. I am seeking a second opinion autism diagnosis privately, as my GP won't refer through Right to Choose as they say I can't for a second opinion. I have decided I'll pay privately, as I don't have the energy to fight it and go through the processes... I originally had my initial autism assessment 12 years ago and a lot has changed since then... My interactions with the service (SEIK Psychiatry) is so far positive and I would consider an ADHD assessment with them also...

I have ADHD traits, dating back to childhood and during my assessment was told I have a lot of traits. I would also consider medication, in the very least to help with work as I keep getting phases of burnout and generally struggling... I am very aware that my neurodivergence, or whatever is going on in my brain makes things way more tiring. I know everyone says they are tired outside of work, but for me I can be so drained that I struggle to talk and am less coordinated and focused. I cannot think of any physical health reason. Also, I am a mental health nurse and have worked in mental health services over a decade and I don't believe I'm depressed or mentally ill. I think I am exhausted from trying to read people, from sensory stuff, from trying to switch and start tasks in work, read loads of notes and emails...

I know GPs can be reticent with regards to taking over prescribing ADHD medication following diagnosis. I was wondering if I requested SEIK through Right to Choose (as it would be my first assessment for ADHD), if they would be more likely to take over medication after? I don't think I could afford to pay loads every month for meds. I am not seeking medical advice or anything like that, just people's experiences. I also am aware that medication is not a fix all, but I want to have the option if a specialist feels it would help.

Thanks for any advice.