u/BajaBlast90

I have noticed a trend on social media in the past few years where women are opening up more about the negative side effects and symptoms of pregnancy and motherhood. There is even a woman on Instagram (I forgot the username) who started a long-running list of negative effects that pregnancy can cause.

That being said, there is still a certain backlash towards women who speak up about potentially negative/harmful things that can come up as a result of pregnancy. Even if its a woman talking about the physical/mental/emotional/relationship issues on social media there's always someone in the comments invalidating her experiences or counteracting it with "Well that didn't happen to me/my mother/sister" etc.

The reason I brought up PPD and postpartum psychosis specifically becsuse it seems like that topic is especially taboo. Maybe it's because women's mental health in general is stigmatized? And apparently PPD is fairly common yet not discussed enough IMO.

That being said, whenever I have joined online discussions on pregnancy I feel like I'm being gaslit with the way that some people will downplay the negative effects of pregnancy. Either they will tell other women to ignore the negativity or downplay it as "rare" occurrences. It's incredibly frustrating when I feel like I am not part of an honest conversation about pregnancy and motherhood. That has been a huge part of what turned me off from trying for kids.

I happened to lose my job a few months ago and I happened to find myself in a very low point with my mental health (I was incredibly depressed). This unfortunately led to me confiding in someone who subsequently took advantage of my distraught state and manipulated me badly. I do not want to go into details, as it's too painful. It's also the lesson, rather than the details that are key here.

If you find yourself in a vulnerable situation or phase in life, be very vigilant of yourself and the people in your life. Be cautious with whom you share personal details with.

Since I was at such a low point, I was an easy target for the individual who manipulated me. They knew what I was going through and that is how they were able to get to me. A part of me is embarrassed with myself. If I was in a better mental state, I would have been thinking more clearly and not fallen for their tactics. A huge part of what allowed their tactics to work was that they offered me emotional support and earned my trust that way.

Unfortunately, manipulators (especially the more ruthless kind) will view someone in a vulnerable state as a potential target. It sucks because it's bad enough dealing with what you are currently going through, but then on top of that you have to potentially field off individuals with nefarious intentions. As bad as it sounds, if you find yourself in a vulnerable place in life, do not share this with anyone other than trusted friends and family.

There is a quote from The Art of War that I think is fitting for this:

“Appear weak when you are strong, and strong when you are weak.”

At some point, I did come to my senses and set some boundaries with that manipulative individual, as well as go no contact.

I don't want to encourage people to be paranoid. But if you find yourself in a vulnerable situation, bear in mind there are shitty people who might exploit you in that position.

I found this out a week ago when I talked to a coworker who also got fired that same day. I still can't believe this actually happened to me. I had heard stories about people getting fired for managers not liking them but I never thought it would actually happen to me.

This coworker and I worked at a nonprofit and it was a small org (like 35-40 people). The nasty manager was going to be taking over my boss's role this year (Executive Director). I found out from several former coworkers that this woman did not like me and was talking shit about me constantly with one of her other cronies. This was also confirmed by another former employee I talked to who still works there.

Apparently this bitch and her crony was constantly talking badly about me behind my back and I had no idea. And more than one person noticed and never mentioned anything to me while I worked there. I found out from the coworker who just got fired that this woman pretty much strong armed my boss into firing me and was behind it.

Some of the nasty things this would would say was that I had "no idea what I was doing" or that I was "in my own little world" (whatever that means). The wild part was that she NEVER brought these things up to me. Granted she wasn't my direct supervisor but she never shared any feedback with me.

This whole time I was lead to believe I was fired for "performance issues" when it was this woman who wanted me gone. I never knew about her constantly talking crap behind me behind my back and despising me. I am aware that my boss had his own critique of my performance and we had meetings for it months prior to being fired. But a part of me suspects that this woman might have been planting a seed with him that I was a "bad apple." Unfortunately, I will never know the truth.

I understand there were things I needed to improve on and I had made mistakes. But I do not fully trust that feedback and I am unsure of what was legitimate feedback versus someone not liking me.

I never thought I'd be the target of malicious work-place mean girl drama (I am also a woman). I was always polite to everyone there and kept to myself. It's wild that this happened at a very progressive women-centered nonprofit. Unfortunately I work in an at-will state and there isn't anything that can be done.

One takeaway from all this is that I suspect alot of people lose jobs because a manager secretly dislikes them. Of course half the people in my life don't believe this is the case and they insist it must have been my "performance." I think that it's just a cope for some people who can't accept the unfairness and cruelty of the situation.

I considered posting this in one of the career subs but I wanted to share it here first if anyone else who has worked a nonprofit has had this experience.

I recently got fired from my most recent job at a nonprofit a few months ago. I started feeling like my boss (he was the Executive Director) was starting to dislike me and I was wondering if it was the cause of me getting fired. I know this isn't an issue unique to nonprofits but it's worth exploring. When I had my meeting with my boss where I was fired, he opened the meeting with a rude and nasty comment - "This has been a long time coming." which I found super unprofessional.

There were valid concerns he had about my performance and we had had a meeting about it in January. I did attempt to work on it but it wasn't enough for him apparently. I was also confused by some of the feedback I got in that first meeting and I requested to meet with him the day after that initial meeting for clarification. My boss ended up repeating the same things without any real clarity?

One of his issues was that I wasn't working "independently" enough which didn't make sense because my position was a manager position and I was managing multiple projects by myself and I was meeting with him like once or twice a week. He was just starting to nit pick at mistakes I was making.

Overall, I noticed his demeanor towards me was starting to get very cold and distant. You can tell when there is that one person that doesn't like you and there is a very cold attitude towards you. A few weeks prior to getting fired I was taking pictures at an award ceremony for our marketing and all the attendees were responsive towards me getting their picture taken. However, when I got to the table with my boss and other staff, I was trying to get their attention to take a picture and they straight up ignored me. It was very awkward.

However, one of the worst parts was that I suspect they used me for a fundraiser we had back in April. I suspected my boss wanted to fire me back in January when we had that first meeting. However, he kept me around to work the fundraiser. Most likely because it would have been to much to hire an train someone in time, and I had assisted with managing that fundraiser last year.

I was also noticing that a "popular clique" was starting to form at that nonprofit and I noticed that I was not on the "in crowd". There were 2 staff members with whom I did connect (and I was working with them daily) with but sadly they moved on. I felt a distinct vibe shift after they left and suddenly I didn't have "anyone" in my corner. The Program Director was also starting to give me "mean girl" vibes as well. I can't help but feel like me being more quiet and introverted played a role in getting iced out.

Looking back, I know there are things I need improve on career wise and I am taking the feedback seriously. However, I am hesitant to get another nonprofit job because I fear it will have that same cliquey and low key toxic vibe.