u/Balam_String387

I'm finishing up my Invisalign treatment (about 1 year of trays + refinements) and I was just informed by my orthodontist that they intend to install a permanent retainer top and bottom during the next visit. They did not discuss this with me prior or during treatment so I'm doing more research as to whether permanent retainers really are that different from night time removable ones for life.

had braces before when I was 13, but was not told by my ortho that I needed to wear removable retainers of the rest of my life so I stopped wearing them and my teeth moved. 20+ years later I did Invisalign because of issues I was having with my crowns/bite. Since I had braces as a teen, but smile hadn't shifted that much and wasn't a source of concern for me. I've been wearing the trays for a year plus so night time retainers forever wouldn't require a change in my routine.

Permanent retainers seem excessive if you're diligent about wearing removables every night. Seeing a lot of posts from folks who decided to go the permanent route and claim that it's better, but there's no counterfactual.

Any Invisligners out there who decided to just do removables and their teeth are doing just fine? Or any that regret not getting permanent?

I'm finishing up my Invisalign treatment (about 1 year of trays + refinements) and I was just informed by my orthodontist that they intend to install a permanent retainer top and bottom during the next visit. They did not discuss this with me prior or during treatment so I'm doing more research as to whether permanent retainers really are that different from night time removable ones for life.

had braces before when I was 13, but was not told by my ortho that I needed to wear removable retainers of the rest of my life so I stopped wearing them and my teeth moved. 20+ years later I did Invisalign because of issues I was having with my crowns/bite. I've been wearing the trays for a year plus so night time retainers forever wouldn't require a change in my routine.

Permanent retainers seem excessive if you're diligent about wearing removables every night. Seeing a lot of posts from folks who decided to go the permanent route and claim that it's better, but there's no counterfactual.

Any Invisligners out there who decided to just do removables and their teeth are doing just fine? Or any that regret not getting permanent?

I'm 37F and have been single since COVID. At first, I was happy being single since I had just broken up with a longterm partner who was an alcoholic going through the motions with sobriety/relapse/recovery.

Fast forward to today and I can't believe that I've been without a serious partner for most of my 30s even though I'm an active dater. I would like to have a child some day, but would prefer it happen with a loving/committed partner. I would have thought I would experience a relationship (or two) during this time even if it ended, but wow. The weight of loneliness has started to creep in this year.

I think of myself as attractive, smart, hard working, have hobbies, a successful career, traveled the world, and have loads of friends in many places. I invest in my friendships and I'm proud that I continue to make lasting friends as I get older. My life is rich.

I approach dating with an open mind and on equal terms. I offer to pay half if it's a splitable bill. I have my type, but also date outside of it. Have dated a wide range of ages/races/nationalities, single dads, divorced, men in open relationships (I'm now monog). I don't judge people for any one experience as long as they can speak about it with understanding/maturity.

It's starting to weigh on me that being single for this long has been hard. It's expensive/exhausting in ways that are not often discussed. I live in a country with poor infrastructure so basic services laps and natural disasters are common. There's no team (e.g., one gets gas, while the other fetches water). It's all on me to do it all with no one to decompress with at the end.

A sample of the last few guys I've dated:

-32M was so nervous he could barely speak. I asked all the questions and he asked me none (1 date)

-36M veteran, talked about his ex A LOT on the first date, but apologized and made up for it by being sweet/respectful/proactive. A month+ in tells me he got recently baptized at an Evangelical church, two weeks later he says he has a porn addiction he's been managing, a month after that discloses he's bipolar and unmedicated. (3 months)

-42M friend for 10 years. Starts making moves over the course of a few months. We kiss, strong feelings for each other, compatibility. I find out he's keeping a girlfriend from me and confront him about it. Doesn't apologize or acknowledges the situation. We drift apart.

-38M handsome chemistry professor with similar life experiences. First month great, second month let me know he ranked me 3rd in this list of 12 women he was dating and we should just be friends (2 months).

-37M single dad, a bit fidgety first date but was interesting enough. Second date goes off the rails, spends most of it spewing hatred towards the mother of his child, gets drunk, and tells me he wants to bathe me in his daughter's kiddie pool (2 dates)

-41M painter, first month very fun. Second month I have a work trip. Day before, he interrupts sex to ask if he can grab his phone "real quick" to film himself inside of me since I was going to be out of town for a week. Insists on my flight information while I'm away to pick me up from the airport, but cancels when I land. I cut things off and he's shocked. Needs to talk, doesn't understand why, verge of tears.

-29M handsome lawyer, lives on a sailboat. Fun, we've kissed, but he hasn't said a single nice or flirty thing about/to me or planned a date (ongoing).

It's getting harder to bounce back when the string of bad connections just keeps getting longer, without a reminder that romance and stills exists.

Does this resonate with other folks or am I just in a bad dating pool?