u/Batmann216

AITA for refusing to be the godfather to my husband's cousin's child?

I (35M) have been with my husband Joseph (36M) for over 13 years. His distant cousin, Pebbles (22F), was pregnant with her first child when her mom (my husband's aunt) asked my husband to ask me if I wanted to be the godfather.

For context, I barely knew Pebbles. We would see each other at the occasional family function, but our interactions were usually just a quick "hi," "bye," or short conversation. There was never any bad blood between us; we simply never developed a relationship.

So when I was asked to be the godfather, I was honestly confused. I also thought it was strange that Pebbles didn't ask me herself. Instead, she apparently asked her mom, who asked my husband, who then asked me.

Don't get me wrong, I was genuinely honored. But my first thought was, why me?

My husband and I take important decisions seriously, so we told his aunt we'd think about it. After discussing it, one concern that came up was money.

My husband and I have good-paying jobs and are financially stable. We're definitely not rich, but we own our home, have two cars, pay our bills, and live comfortably.

Pebbles and her family were struggling financially at the time. From what my husband knew, there wasn't much stable income in the household, the baby's father was in and out of the picture, and her family was having trouble keeping up with their mortgage.

I don't judge them for that at all. Life gets difficult, and if someone genuinely needed help, I'm the type of person who would try to help however I could.

However, because I barely knew Pebbles, my husband and I wondered if our financial stability was part of the reason she chose me.

To be fair, we have no proof that was her intention. It was simply a concern we had. I didn't want to accept the role and later find out that being "godfather" meant I was expected to financially provide for the child or become the person they called whenever they needed money.

But the biggest issue was simply that I didn't know Pebbles very well.

To me, being a godfather isn't just a title. I would want an actual relationship with the parents and to be a meaningful and consistent person in their child's life. I didn't feel comfortable making that commitment to someone I barely knew.

After talking it over, I decided to say no, and my husband supported my decision. He told his aunt that we weren't close enough with Pebbles or her family for me to feel comfortable accepting such an important role.

Part of me still feels bad because I was honored she considered me. Maybe she genuinely thought I would be a good godfather and we overthought her intentions.

So AITA for declining because I barely knew her and was worried there could be financial expectations attached to the role?

AITA for refusing to be the godfather to my husband's cousin's child?

I (35M) have been with my husband Joseph (36M) for over 13 years. This situation involves one of his distant cousins, Pebbles (22F), who was pregnant with her first child at the time.

For some context, I barely knew Pebbles. Over the years, I would see her at the occasional family function, but our interactions were usually just a quick "hi," "bye," or a very short conversation. There was never any bad blood between us—we just never developed an actual relationship. We didn't really have much in common, and because she is a distant cousin of my husband's, we simply weren't around each other very often.

While Pebbles was pregnant, her mother (my husband's aunt) contacted my husband and asked him to ask me if I wanted to be the godfather to Pebbles' firstborn.

I was honestly baffled.

First, I thought it was a little strange that Pebbles didn't ask me herself. Her mom asked my husband, who then had to ask me. I wasn't offended by it, but considering how important being someone's godfather can be, I expected that kind of conversation to happen directly between Pebbles and me.

At the same time, I was genuinely honored. It actually gave me a little bit of joy knowing that she had apparently thought highly enough of me to consider me for that role.

But I also couldn't help thinking: Why me?

I barely knew her.

My husband and I tend to take important decisions pretty seriously. We've been together a long time, and whenever something major comes up, we talk it through, look at the pros and cons, and try not to make decisions based purely on emotion.

So we told his aunt that we wanted some time to think about it.

One of the concerns that came up was money.

My husband and I both have good-paying jobs. We're not rich by any means, but we're financially stable and comfortable. We own our home, have two cars, pay our bills, and are fortunate enough to have some financial security.

Pebbles and her immediate family were going through a much harder financial situation at the time. From what my husband told me, there wasn't much stable income in the household, the baby's father was in and out of the picture, and the family was struggling financially to the point where there were concerns about keeping their house.

I want to make something VERY clear: I don't look down on them for struggling financially. Life happens, and people go through difficult situations. If someone in my family genuinely needed help and I was in a position to help them, I'm the type of person who would try.

But because I barely had a relationship with Pebbles, my husband and I started wondering whether my financial stability might have played a part in why I was chosen.

We had no proof that this was her intention, and I don't want to accuse her of something I can't prove. But the possibility made me uncomfortable. I didn't want to accept such an important role and later discover that "godfather" meant I was expected to financially provide for the child, buy expensive things, or become the person they called whenever money was needed.

More importantly, even if money had absolutely nothing to do with it, I kept coming back to the same issue:

I didn't really know the mother.

To me, being a godfather isn't just a title you give somebody. If I'm going to accept that role, I want to have an actual relationship with the parents and be a meaningful, consistent person in that child's life. I didn't feel comfortable making that commitment to someone I barely knew simply because we were technically family through my husband.

After talking everything through, I decided to say no. My husband agreed with my decision and called his aunt back. He explained that I wouldn't be accepting because neither of us really had a close relationship with Pebbles or her family.

There wasn't any big argument or dramatic confrontation when we declined, but I've wondered whether I judged the situation too harshly.

Part of me still feels bad because being asked was genuinely an honor, and maybe Pebbles simply saw something in me that made her believe I would be a good godfather. On the other hand, I don't think someone should accept that kind of responsibility out of guilt or just because they're family.

So, Reddit:

AITA for refusing to be the godfather to my husband's cousin's child because I barely knew her and was concerned there might be financial expectations attached to the role?

Before I begin I just want to say I enjoy watching all your videos Charlotte. Thank you for that and you are so awesome. Keep up the amazing work!!!

I (35M) have been with my husband Joseph (36M) for over 13 years. This situation involves one of his distant cousins, Pebbles (22F), who was pregnant with her first child at the time.

For some context, I barely knew Pebbles. Over the years, I would see her at the occasional family function, but our interactions were usually just a quick "hi," "bye," or a very short conversation. There was never any bad blood between us—we just never developed an actual relationship. We didn't really have much in common, and because she is a distant cousin of my husband's, we simply weren't around each other very often.

While Pebbles was pregnant, her mother (my husband's aunt) contacted my husband and asked him to ask me if I wanted to be the godfather to Pebbles' firstborn.

I was honestly baffled.

First, I thought it was a little strange that Pebbles didn't ask me herself. Her mom asked my husband, who then had to ask me. I wasn't offended by it, but considering how important being someone's godfather can be, I expected that kind of conversation to happen directly between Pebbles and me.

At the same time, I was genuinely honored. It actually gave me a little bit of joy knowing that she had apparently thought highly enough of me to consider me for that role.

But I also couldn't help thinking: Why me?

I barely knew her.

My husband and I tend to take important decisions pretty seriously. We've been together a long time, and whenever something major comes up, we talk it through, look at the pros and cons, and try not to make decisions based purely on emotion.

So we told his aunt that we wanted some time to think about it.

One of the concerns that came up was money.

My husband and I both have good-paying jobs. We're not rich by any means, but we're financially stable and comfortable. We own our home, have two cars, pay our bills, and are fortunate enough to have some financial security.

Pebbles and her immediate family were going through a much harder financial situation at the time. From what my husband told me, there wasn't much stable income in the household, the baby's father was in and out of the picture, and the family was struggling financially to the point where there were concerns about keeping their house.

I want to make something VERY clear: I don't look down on them for struggling financially. Life happens, and people go through difficult situations. If someone in my family genuinely needed help and I was in a position to help them, I'm the type of person who would try.

But because I barely had a relationship with Pebbles, my husband and I started wondering whether my financial stability might have played a part in why I was chosen.

We had no proof that this was her intention, and I don't want to accuse her of something I can't prove. But the possibility made me uncomfortable. I didn't want to accept such an important role and later discover that "godfather" meant I was expected to financially provide for the child, buy expensive things, or become the person they called whenever money was needed.

More importantly, even if money had absolutely nothing to do with it, I kept coming back to the same issue:

I didn't really know the mother.

To me, being a godfather isn't just a title you give somebody. If I'm going to accept that role, I want to have an actual relationship with the parents and be a meaningful, consistent person in that child's life. I didn't feel comfortable making that commitment to someone I barely knew simply because we were technically family through my husband.

After talking everything through, I decided to say no. My husband agreed with my decision and called his aunt back. He explained that I wouldn't be accepting because neither of us really had a close relationship with Pebbles or her family.

There wasn't any big argument or dramatic confrontation when we declined, but I've wondered whether I judged the situation too harshly.

Part of me still feels bad because being asked was genuinely an honor, and maybe Pebbles simply saw something in me that made her believe I would be a good godfather. On the other hand, I don't think someone should accept that kind of responsibility out of guilt or just because they're family.

So, Reddit:

AITA for refusing to be the godfather to my husband's cousin's child because I barely knew her and was concerned there might be financial expectations attached to the role?