u/BeaniePole1792

MIL texted me saying if we go to the reclaim clothing store, she wants to go.

1. MIL hates how I drive and told me to my face.
2. Daughter doesn’t need anything at the clothing place as we were just there. She got a lovely dress for her 8th grade dance a few weeks ago and looked awesome. It’s probably why MIL wants to go because of our daughter. I showed her a picture.
3. Husband is on driving restriction until August due to a medical situation. When I told her she went “ok”

MIL can’t really walk and refuses a cane or any other medical equipment assistance. She doesn’t understand what daughter has been up to and I haven’t shared that daughter is on her school trip for a project her class did. Daughter also totally did awesome in school and school is almost out.

She said to me that she would have FIL drop her off at our house which I dont understand why he can’t take her to the clothing store.

I only told her ok but really the next time we go might be before school starts. I thought about doing it so I can hear her complain but that would only cause trouble for me. I stopped hanging out with her years ago when she told husband that she told all her friends how I abuse her.

Did any one have a middle school 8th grade dance? My daughter went to hers and it was like prom. She dressed the occasion but I paid $12 for the dress. It was a 2 hour dance. She told me that a group of kids came in a limo. I am like get out! It’s 8th grade.

She went by herself. None of her friends wanted or couldn’t go. She mingled with kids she knew that she calls associates.

I don’t recall having any 8th grade dance but I also had a messed up school life - 6th was in elementary and I went to a junior high - 7th,8th,9th. Then I moved in the middle of 10th.

I also learned that even though I moved a lot, it’s not really a reason I didn’t have close friends. My daughter has been in the same house, but with school choice and just growing up, you change and kids go to different schools or you just have different goals.

MIL decided to make blankets for all her grandkids. Our daughter is the oldest being 14 with the next biological grandkid being 7 - BIlL’s kid. And then BIL has a stepdaughter that is 12. MIL informed us about the blanket months ago but started on the youngest kid and then the 12 year old.

Today she calls me that the blanket will take 2 more weeks. I am like take your time. Because 1. We didn’t ask for a blanket so there isn’t a set deadline and 2. She doesn’t even know what daughter is doing. It goes in one ear and out the other. Daughter is wrapping up 8th grade and has all of the end of the year stuff going on. MIL doesn’t care about any of her achievements. We don’t bother inviting the IL to awards, etc. MIL doesn’t even know what school she goes to even though it’s right next to the elementary that she volunteered at without my knowledge when daughter was in elementary.

Top it off, daughter wished her Happy Mother’s Day when husband called and she thought I said it. She told me thank you. She didn’t even ask about her grandkid. She only asked us if we wanted to join them to eat. I said what restaurant and husband gave me a glare and daughter was covering her mouth not to laugh. Not like I wanted to go but I was curious.

I was talking about husband about performative niceness - why does she do it when she doesn’t mean it? Why does he do it when he doesn’t mean it? Like why call if he wants to avoid her? And why am I having to pretend? Daughter knows grandma is full of crap. It’s fine for him to call his mom but why did he have to drag me into it?

We live in FL and it will be summer. Daughter really doesn’t care about the blanket since grandma has dismissed all her achievements to a category of “that’s nice”

At least MIL is keeping busy.

My kid is a teen. She went to her 8th grade end of the year party for dance. Parents could stay. It was at a bowling alley and it was rainy. I had nothing else to do. I am the only driver in our family right now and we were done with all the chores needed. I stayed because why not. I talked with coach. 2 other parents stayed because they have special needs kids. But no other parent stayed because they had other kids. One parent decided to spend time with their son while their daughter did the dance party.

So I was wondering if staying was the right thing to do. Daughter and I went to a ducky claw machine and we ended up getting ducks for her collection.

I end up using the time to have a little fun myself. Otherwise, I would be going home and then driving back. If I had stuff to do, I would do it but mostly I have time carved out and I feel most parents don’t because they are dealing with multiple kids.