r/Xennials

Hi all, '82 person here. Me and the family moved to the suburbs around four years ago, and I'm noticing something, and wanted to get other people's experiences/takes on this.

Back in the day (college, early 20's) I certainly enjoyed my share of booze and marijuana, but as I got older, it just started fading from my life. I got more responsibilities, and it just stopped being fun. I asked myself at some point why I was smoking weed again, and got tired of the feeling. I will still have a beer or two socially, but don't smoke anymore.

That's not the case with many of my contemporaries out the 'burbs. It's mostly the men/dads, and they are just looking for any excuse to drink several beers (or other drinks), and hit the vape pen/gummies. It doesn't matter if their kids are around or not. For example - dad daughter campouts, there are some dads who are basically drinking the whole time. Dad coming to his kids birthday party after stopping at the dispensary. Having multiple drinks, shots, ect. . . at any sort of social gathering.

There are definitely some people who I would not let my kids get in the car with them driving.

I honestly don't know how some of these people do it. I'd feel terrible the next day if I had 4 or 5 drinks. And they are doing it multiple days a week.

This is obviously not everyone, but its a lot more than I would expect. I find myself feeling awkward hanging out with some people who are just getting blasted, and not partaking. Many of them hang out together, probably in part to normalize what they are doing. It is causing some difficulties in making friends, but on reflection I'm not sure if I'd want to be friends with some of these people anyways.

Have others noticed the same thing?

Does anyone else struggle with this? I (48f) have never been good at figuring out what looks and feels good on me even when I was younger and thinner. Now, as a middle-aged woman on the larger side, I have no idea how to dress in a way that I feel good about. I've worn a uniform for work since my 20s, but for other times, I just feel unable to see myself clearly and tell if I look good or not. My lack of fucks has kicked in for many areas, but not this one for some reason. I've been shopping for an event and it's bringing up all sorts of anxiety and self-esteem issues for me right now. How do you find your style? How has it changed over the years? Do you still care about it?

Okay - so we are firmly middle age. I’m curious what other’s are doing for their vacations these days.

I ask because I used to be interested in either high energy vacations with lots of activities or completely unstructured vacations where I parked myself at a pool or beach all day and then went out in the evening.

Neither of those things appeal to me anymore. I also abhor large crowds and cheap vacations where you’re treated poorly or upsold stuff or nickel and dimed on everything (think carnival cruises or low end all inclusive resorts). I’m doing okay financially at this point in my life, but a vacation is a financial investment that I plan and save for and want to feel like it was money well spent.

I generally plan two types of vacations and typically alternate the types each year. One type is a vacation that the whole family can enjoy (activities appropriate for teens, middle aged adults, and senior adults) and then the other type of vacation is just for me and my husband (going places we’ve never been paired with activities that are more low key, plus some empty time to actually relax).

I’m going to try an ultra luxury cruise this coming fall to see if maybe this is where me and my husband can find enjoyment in vacationing again.

Anyone else watch the festivities from Nashville last night?

Boyz II Men still got it, even though they're in their early 50s. I couldn't dance like that at 47 if I tried.

And Sublime? Bradley's son sounds just like him. I can't believe they let them do Santeria basically uncensored. They dipped the audio a little on "punk ass" but all the other violent lyrics were 100% intact. It was kind of awesome.

We have 3 remaining parents between us and we have limited time to visit them all, so we’re trying to prioritize who is most likely to die first. Of course anybody can die at any time so we might get it wrong, but we are trying to increase visits to those who have more and more medical issues.

Again, I fully understand that anybody can die at any time and the universe doesn’t care about plans.

Edit: Holy shit, maybe this post should be “Anybody NOT hate their parents”?

I'm 43, and woke up in absolute agony Friday night/Thursday morning. I pulled a groin muscle and couldn't move. I had to call in sick on Friday. It's better now but still stiff and I'm still limping a little.

How have you injured yourselves lately?

Are any of you in an age gap relationship. Tell us the things that are differences that they dont know or never heard of.

My fiance is 12yrs younger. He didnt know who DMX was, he had never seen the movie Fear, or Cruel Intentions, Dont Tell Mom The Babysitters Dead. I have of course told him about all of these things.

I know there's so much more we've been together for years I'll add them as I think of them. Would love to hear yours.

I am 42F and he is 30M

I'm thinking of leaving a really bad, abusive marriage at 45 with a 5 year old son. Can any xennial give me some positive advice or just a feel-good story on how it is to start over midlife? I'm terrified.

For the first time ever, after 42 years I’m utterly uninterested in seeing any fireworks. Does this officially mark that I’ve hit middle age?

For me it was the original Lion King back in 1994. The songs I liked the most were Circle of Life and Just Can't Wait to be King. I didn't think much of Hakuna Matata. My sister loved it also. She's five years younger than I am. I was eight when I saw the movie.