u/Beautiful-Angle-4615

About a month ago, I made a mistake. I drank too much and was really mean to my husband. Said some pretty nasty things. He hasn’t gotten over it and is getting upset with everything I do. He is claiming I should know his preferences and what he wants and be abiding by them. I shouldn’t be making any mistakes and should be doing everything right to make up for what I did. I tried telling him that although I made a mistake, he should still treat me with respect in our conversations. But no, because those who aren’t respectful (what I did a month ago) don’t deserve respect. I’m at a loss. I feel like little things that wouldn’t have mattered in the past are causing big blow up fights. I understand he is upset and trying to work through it, but how can he expect me to be perfect? He feels as if he has made his stance clear and what he expects and what he likes and dislikes and feels like it’s falling on deaf ears because I’m not hearing him. I’m not respecting his wishes. I just think he’s taking small things that aren’t a big deal and blowing them out of control. I’m not allowed to say he’s not being respectful because what I did wasn’t respectful. I don’t even know how to explain it. But apparently since I made a mistake that he can’t get over, I should be abiding by his rules and not making any mistakes no matter how small.

TLDR: I made a mistake, and every action of mine is under a microscope. I should know his preferences and be on my best behavior with no slip-ups.

I 29F have been with my husband 30M for 10 years. Married for two. Lately, I have had a problem with drinking. I don’t drink regularly but when I do, I overdo it and drink too much. When we get into arguments when we are drunk, he gets very explosive (not physical) but raises his voice and yells a lot. Even when I’m at fault, I feel like I can never admit when I am wrong and just get super combative. I yell back, won’t admit I did anything wrong, and just can’t have a coherent conversation. I know I will stop drinking but I also can’t communicate effectively. I just yell back nonsense and some insults / say mean things to him. I have a hard time admitting I’m wrong even when I am I refuse to think what I did was actually that bad. And then after all the yelling, I don’t really feel bad for hurting my husband or feel bad about the fight. I noticed the last two instances were both right before my period too. Not sure if that timing is coincidental. It’s not every time I drink either - it’s just twice in past few months where something happened and probably should’ve been a simple conversation but turned into a fighting match. My husband is now threatening to leave me. I scheduled a therapy appointment but what else should I do? Do I just need to learn how to communicate or is there something mentally wrong with me that I never feel bad?

TLDR - I am combative when I drink and don’t feel bad about saying mean things when I’m drunk

My Reserve has been hacked 3x in the past year. Fraud charge has been airfare all 3x. On airline websites where I do not have an account/card on file. I’ve had other cards (Amex, Citi) for 10+ years and have never gotten hacked. Why is it this card specifically? It’s making me want to cancel the card.

We have been in Hoboken for close to 5 years and absolutely love it. We’ve been starting to think about having kids soon. We both grew up in the suburbs with a house and plenty of space. While that is the future for us, because of the commute, we’d like to stay in Hoboken a few more years. I know people have kids in Hoboken (I see it everywhere), but how? We luckily have a two bed two bath (1,200 SQFT). But if we have a baby, we both work from home on Fridays and need two desks, then how do people do it? Just curious what people’s set ups are like. Right now we can fit a desk in the master and a desk and queen bed in the guest room. Also, my mom will likely help out with the baby and have to stay over some nights of the week. It just feels like we’ll all be on top of each other with my mom here too. Any experience from others would be helpful!