u/Beautiful-Winner-323

I work for a non-profit counselling agency. I love my colleagues as people but I am often irritated by them for various reasons.

In particular, I have a colleague whose office is beside mine and we share a wall. Sound proofing is not good. They talk so loud. So so loud. I hear them huff and puff, the sound of them typing aggressively, burping and farting, slamming their door. They’re a very nice person, often gifting me with food from their garden or offering to make me a speciality coffee with their personal espresso machine. They are very kind. My irritability is not their problem, so I am not interested in complaining to my manager about it.

I thought about asking my doctor for a work accommodation. I see most of my clients in-person, so asking to work from home is not really an option. I thought about asking my employer to supply noise cancelling headphones. I thought of just buying them myself. I’m going crazy and I’m scared one day I’m just gonna snap on them. I don’t want that.

Any other advice/tips/suggestions? TIA

Can anybody recommend literature for music therapy techniques/interventions for children exposed to DV or IPV?

If this question isn’t appropriate for this sub I apologize - please direct me to the appropriate sub.

I (F30) was in an abusive relationship with a man (38) that ended in 2021. He has been out of the picture since then and I am safe. No kids. I’ve moved on and I’m doing good.

I called the police one time during our relationship when he threatened to hurt himself, and when the police arrived I walked my concerns back and lied to protect my then partner. I never reported the violence I experienced to the police and no charges were ever laid, that I’m aware of.

Currently, I work in the field of intimate partner violence, and if I was supporting a woman going through what I went through, I would 100% encourage her to call the police. In fact, I would have a duty to report. He checks off almost all of the risk factors identified in the B-SAFER risk assessment.

Recently, I have been flirting with the idea of reporting the violence I experienced in that relationship to the police because I believe he is capable of serious harm to himself or someone else, particularly an intimate partner. I want it on record in case one of his future partners experiences something like this and calls the police, the police will have documentation. I’m hesitant to do so because I do not want to press charges and have to go through the court system. I’ve moved on, and I really do not want to open the door to years of legal stress and post-separation abuse. Plus, because I was so messed up at that time, it’s likely he could press charges on me too.

My questions is this: Is it true that the police are obligated to press domestic violence charges whether the victim wants to or not? Is it possible to report the violence without them laying charges, since I am safe and no longer at risk? Ideally I would like to provide a statement to the police so it’s on record without laying charges, but I don’t know if that’s possible.

Any advice will help. Thank you in advance!