Do I have bipolar 2??
Hi! So I’m 17F and I am diagnosed with anxiety, depression, and ADHD. My mom has thought for a long time that I have some sort of mood disorder. I also have an aunt with bipolar.
For a couple years now I’ve been exploring the possibility that I am bipolar. I am often depressed, and feel as if I live in constant state of it. A year or so ago, I took a psychology class and learned about bipolar disorder. I heavily related to it, but not as severely. I also can now somewhat recognize my episodes. Which apparently you aren’t supposed to know you’re manic when you’re manic? So I don’t know.
Last night I got less than 5 hours of sleep. I was restless and not physically able to get more sleep, though I tried for over 2 hours. I woke up at 5 am and laid in bed trying to sleep until 7:30 or 8. I then got up and took my new ADHD medication. It’s Concerta. I am also on Lexapro. Today was my first day and Concerta and I felt really productive but I’m not sure if I was hypomanic or if it was the medicine. I was easily irritated last night and yelled at my dad over simple things😬. I think the possible “episode” started last night. I have been talking a lot today and got hyper-fixated on my Halloween costume. When my new Concerta pill was mostly strong, I was getting headaches and felt very hungry and sick. But as it wore off, I was not hungry at all, but I felt weak. I also felt very energized though. My mind had been racing. I also dressed up today, which I am normally very fashionable, but today it felt less for myself, and more for like attention or something?? Which seems to be a trend in mania or hypomania.
This is not my first time experiencing periods like this. I would say in the past they were different though. I would get into the moments where I would have a meltdown because I wanted to cut my hair so bad and would do it myself. I would say I needed a change. I also would describe these moments as “fake happy” or things like that. It’s like happy but sad. Like it’s not real joy. It’s just excitement and like an up-beat energy. And I would want to clean my room and go out and get healthier and stuff like that.
I’m also unsure of who my “real self” is. Like is it depressed me? “Manic” me? Or “regular” me?” Which I’m not sure who regular me is. It’s hard to tell.
I plan to mention this to my psychiatrist at my next appointment, but I thought I would ask people who have bipolar 2 to see if they recognize any of this?
I also usually sleep for hours on end and I’m still tired. I have very big issues with motivation and it’s so difficult to do basic things, like go to school.
Also, not sure if this matters but, 7 months ago I attempted suicide (by overdosing on lexapro and atarax), got put in the ER for like a day and a half I think, then placed in an emergency mental health place for like 12 hours or something before my parents had me released and took me home. The doctors and everyone recommended I get put in an in patient facility for a week or two, but my parents chose to take me home since I would have missed Christmas, and they’d rather I be with family. They definitely made the right choice. They care a lot about me.
EDIT!! I forgot to mention my depression lasts usually longer I think than my other periods, like anywhere from a couple days to a month sometimes. And my “episodes” or “highs” are less frequent I think?? Actually, now that I think about it, they happen probably at least once a month.