Am I wrong for screaming at a child in Ulta?
(Post originally got taken down. “Screaming” is not screaming, it should be obvious what I mean by context.)
Throwaway account, my husband has my main and would be furious if he found out I’d brought this to the internet. Also, I am Canadian, and he has lived in Canada for many years, since before meeting me. We recently took a trip to New Jersey, where he grew up and his family lives. This was our first time visiting his family together and my first time in the US.
Immediately upon arrival I noticed there were many things different than in Canada, especially in people’s behaviour. My husband (and his family when they came to visit us) have always been very bold and not caring about what other people think, which is a quality that drew me to him. However, I am starting to see this is not unique, and how most Americans act. I cannot tell you how many times in the four days I was there I was completely ignored by people, even my own server at a restaurant, and everyone acted like it was normal. I am starting to see my husband and his family are the more toned down ones here.
As a Canadian in the US, I wanted to spend time shopping at stores I can’t go to in Canada, and where I live there is no Ulta. It was the store besides Target I was most excited to go to because I love makeup and wanted to try products I couldn’t normally get. I went with my SIL who was excited to take me there. When we arrived she went off to buy her own stuff and I started looking around. However it was impossible to do so as there were so many children in the aisles. In Canada, this would never be a problem in Sephora.
I was excited to try Morphe as I haven’t been able to find it in Canadian stores, but of course this little girl was there making a mess of the samplers. I kindly asked her to move away and she completely ignored me, continuing to block the entire display and try on all the makeup. I once again asked her to move and she ignored me again. Personally I am against children wearing makeup, and my future daughter will not be wearing makeup until she turns 16. I love makeup but in my opinion you have to feel confident in yourself first before putting on makeup and going down a path of “needing it” which I have gone down before.
I do not control other people’s children, and they can parent how they see fit. However, this little girls parents were nowhere to be found and since I was a paying customer, it was ridiculous I couldn’t browse due to a child, who should not be wearing any sort of makeup (she looked about 9 years old) being in my way. I asked her once again to move as since she wasn’t a paying customer she should not be trying on makeup in the store, and this girl looks up at me and says “Can you move? I can barely see my shade match with your shadow blocking the mirror.” I will admit this struck a nerve with me as I have always been bigger, another reason why wearing makeup felt necessary for me as a young teen. It was the only way I felt I could be beautiful. I have managed to work past that in therapy and am now quite confident in my body, but after a weekend of being acted rudely towards,this really struck a nerve and I reached out and screamed at her. It wasn’t very hard, but she immediately started crying and jumped up from her spot to run away. I felt bad of course, because she was not my child to discipline, however I would like to say that if she were my child, she absolutely deserved it. No child of mine would say something to an adult, a stranger in a store and not be punished.
After she left, I didn’t know what to do, but since she had left the store I resumed shopping. I did feel bad though, and when our vacation was over the next day, I told my husband while we were in bed. I was hoping he would reassure me that while it maybe wasn’t the best decision, it was justified based on what she said and how she acted leading up to the slap. Instead he got extremely mad at me. He told me he would never condone “screaming” a child, even if they were being disrespectful, and left the bed to go sleep on the couch to “cool off”. He left for work this morning after pointedly not talking to me. I do understand I shouldn’t have done it to someone else’s child, but I believe the way she acted justified it somewhat. AITA?