Changing states and how to handle the return of the “thirst”/old states
I was just listening to a few Neville lectures (‘How to Use Your Imagination’ and ‘Imaginal Acts Become Facts’) and had already been reflecting on a sudden resurgence of very old limiting beliefs and (irrational lol) fears in the form of spirals- I wanted to share the notes I had journaled while integrating even further into a new identity. hopefully this can help some of you.
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A change of thought , mood, physical/somatic (such as an expansion of the heart, dropping of the shoulders, unclenching of jaw, smiling etc.) is a shift in states.
Now, when we see it this way, we quickly begin to see which (natural) thoughts, moods, feelings we normalized and expect. If we observe even more objectively, we can even say that certain states have become addictions, in that th withdrawal from them is so very uncomfortable. And moving out of these states is indeed often just breaking a habit (compulsion, even).
The habits formed and hardened since our earliest moments in life, because they have been part of our role for so long that it indeed feels like death; they are “needed” to keep us alive and safe and comfortable- that is but an illusion. Such can be the illusion that alcohol or any substance of choice is necessary for you to survive.
Even though the withdrawal may feel awful, even toxic, we know that a detox must not be interrupted. We push through by surrendering and remembering- remembering the feeling of sobriety, how your family and friends look at you with pride after many years of your sobriety- you ignore, in the most loving way, the discomfort which arises as your hands shake and tongue thirst for poison. You remind yourself and saturate yourself with the other side of this detox as an act of love for yourself.
Chasing perfection during the detox is ignoring in a less loving way, because paradoxically it implies that you are to be tamed and not accepted then forgiven.
Surrender to gratitude for every discomfort and passing echo, because the poison is rising up and leaving- and therefore you are leaving its prison.
“Be still and know that I am God.”
What frees you is your decision and the subsequent shift it allows. And just as the thirst arises in its own repetitive patterns, so must the decision and shift be repeated- that is persisting.
The strategy for shifting varies depending on the severity of the thirst, and how often it arises. But forcefully pushing the thirst away out of fear is not the answer.
Say that you have developed a knowing and naturalness of your fulfilled state, then suddenly the thirst and temporary relapse feel so severe…
Does then your sobriety become invalidated and irrelevant, suddenly not possible? Does it suddenly mean that you are not worthy of your vision of sobriety you held so dear during other, earlier cycles of withdrawal/detox/rehabilitation?
You answer in the moment, and since the moment is ever-present you can always change your answer when/if you remember.
If your thirst severity requires a dark room with no noise or distraction where you breathe deeply and saturate in your vision, then let it be that.
If it requires you to scream and cry while you affirm your truth with conviction, let it be that.
Changing and rewriting the past? Let it be that.
If it requires fast repetitions or rampages of affirmations, Buddhist mantras or Psalms and fervent prayer, written or spoken stories, let it be that.
Sitting through discomfort until it passes in your stillness? Let it be that.
The techniques, let us call them tonics, remedies or maintenance workers or even nurses- they all share the same purpose, to not only quiet the thirst but to shift your state ie. mood, thought, posture, behaviour etc.
But the techniques are not God.
In your moments of thirst, without shame or scolding, the calming and loving of the self before reaching for the tonics and calling of the nurse is paramount.
The settling into the knowing and trust that your decisions and your power is the only power; the tonics/techniques are only props and compulsions without your pure love, awareness and trust of your power. **(note: the belief in your affirmations and visualizations are not always necessary- but your conviction and dedication doesn’t hurt haha)
How do we do that?
Pray to yourself as God/Source, your saviour, your best friend.
First, ground into the gratitude of yourself and your power.
Second, exclaim your trust and love of yourself and inherent deservingness and limitlessness.
Third, do exactly what you need to calm your physical vessel and mind - whether it be exercise, deep breathing, painting, cooking etc. and no you do not need to be ecstatically happy and perfect.
When you have reached that flow and peace and basic confidence, call on the nurse.
What is funny, is that by the time you feel your power and peace- your state has already shifted.
What you shall not do is remain in thirst and struggle, and certainly you shall not poison yourself forever and ever- in fact it is impossible for you to.