u/Benciboulevard

I grew up low-income, money was ALWAYS an issue. From searching the car for coins to pay for gas, to barely having enough to get a meal from the McD’s dollar menu. Constantly watched my mom have panic attacks about money.

So let’s just say, money has always felt scarce and stressful. I was never taught about it which lead to a lot of consumer debt because spending felt less scary than saving. If I was given “access” to a lot (high credit limits), I would use them because I felt limitless after a life of limitation.

Expectedly, the consumer debt has become too much, but I’m fortunately able to move home and start paying it off (no more rent).

However, I know that a core issue is that money does not feel safe to me & even facing the numbers overwhelms me. I have never had direct guidance on how I should handle my money and what my thought process is when going to spend it. For those of you that have experienced the same, how did you begin feeling safe with money and what did you do to improve your financial habits?

My relationship ended a year ago, and since then my ex has been posting horrible things about me online, falsely accusing me of things that could put my life, career, and family in danger. I’m in the process of having it handled legally, but the mental and emotional price I’ve been paying has been awful.

I know what they’re saying isn’t true, but the behavior was so excessive, multiple times a day for over half a year, that being lied about that much genuinely messes with your head. There were signs early on that this person was a liar and a story-changer, but I chalked it up to inexperience and misunderstanding. Hindsight is 20/20.

For those of you who’ve been through something similar: how did you heal? How did you rebuild trust in your own perception of reality after that kind of sustained character assassination?

Transparent post - genuinely looking for people who’ve walked a similar path.

I wasn’t a strong student in college. I was working three jobs and in a bad relationship, so survival was the priority, not grades. I’m in a much better place now and could genuinely make law school work - financially and logistically.

What I’m trying to do is separate “this is the right path” from “I want my redemption arc moment.” My biggest fear isn’t the workload or time commitment (I’m not prioritizing family/kids right now, so that tradeoff doesn’t scare me) - it’s investing the time and money and coming out the other side just as unfulfilled, having sold myself a fantasy instead of a real plan.

The two things pulling me toward this: not wanting to look back in 5-10 years regretting that I didn’t try, and just not being excited about where my current career trajectory goes. I’ve also struggled in the past with feeling like I give up on myself, and I don’t want this to become another version of that - I want to know I actually tried instead of talking myself out of it.

For those who made a similar switch (or considered it and didn’t): how did you actually tell the difference between wanting the profession vs. wanting the story of having pursued it? What made it real vs. a fantasy in hindsight?