u/Beneficial_North9367

this will be a vent. i have some casual acquaintance friendships that have lasted longer than 7 years but the bff friendships just seem to always end around the 7th year.

first one was from elementary school to high school. she was good. she was an ok girl, straight a student. she was a calm, tame girl and that’s why i just became friends with her. but still she was almost too tame. she never said yes to hanging out after school cz she needed to study. but yk i get her ig cz we were kinda small (I GUESS). she was kinda emotional. had obsessive crushes on upper class boys. then obsessive declarations of being finished with them. she was a very in her feelings type girl. she loved to hug. i never was the type to be deep, caring or touchy feely. we did love crafting and diys. we exchanged really adorable letters which i still cherish ❤️. by the later years i started to notice she was always in competition with me. i was never fantastic at my studies but every now and then i got good/excellent grades. she was always excellent. and that’s what kinda set her off. whenever i got the same good grades with her, she wouldn’t talk to me. one time i heard her mumble “i have to try harder next time” when we both got As (better than A?). by the end she was actively pushing me away so she can be better. she had to go away for some time and when my teacher broke the news to be i texted her to confirm and why she couldn’t tell me herself and she said “stuff don’t go smoothly if i share it with people”. she was gone for a full year and we were never the same afterwards.

by the time she had started seeing me as a close enemy in 7th grade there came a new girl in our class. she was fun. but her home being close to me and our moms being close was the better reason. we took the bus from the same stop for 2 years and that kinda forces you to form a friendship. god she was hard. she was ALWAYS late and ALWAYS made me wait. it was her pride and joy to make me wait for her. she also treated me like im her boyfriend (i am quite a tall girl). and i would always wait for her like a fucking idiot. i hate being late myself and people who are late too. it always irked me. i always told myself every time i waited for her that this would be the last time and the next time either i won’t agree to a hang out or i would be the one who is late so she can feel what i feel for once. but i never could be later than her. by the end of the 7 years she also started seeing me as a competition. always telling me to do things/ sneaky remarks about my behavior. and the last straw was her secretly trying to get ahead of me. we were both enrolled at the same driving school and promised eo that we would only go to the driving range together (for safety cz the range is outside the city). some time in she said she was busy and wouldn’t go to the range therefore told me to not go too and wait until she wasn’t busy. i understood it completely. but after 2 weeks of ghosting me she told me she had already gone to the range multiple times without me and now we can start going again together. we were both in a time crunch to graduate the driving school but she held me back on purpose to get ahead. as soon as i saw that i blocked her on everything and went to all the remaining classes alone and graduated way before her. and that was the last thing i remember.

in 9th grade a new girl came. from the very first moment i saw her she was so interesting and calming to me. maybe it was the new girl mystique or the fact i was coming off from a weird friendship but i clinged to her hard. i was desperate for her attention. and somehow along the way she brought out a kinda outgoing/crazy side of me. never felt like she was my one true best friend forever tho. she always felt unattainable. again, im not a very emotional, deep, caring person so i never really talked that deep with her. and she never talked about that to me too! so it was kinda perfect! we were just available and accompanying eo without the big tugs and passions. she felt safe ig. we graduated high school and she went to study abroad and we started being strictly online friends. once a year she came and once a year we hung out. some year she didn’t come. now after 5 years of our online friendship she got a bf (love that for her truly). and maybe it’s just me but i am noticing she isn’t as open and fun anymore. i mean if its the stability the boy is giving her that is making her calmer and chiller then go her. also i told her that im going away for a masters. big mistake. this is genuinely how all my friendships ended, when something sets my friends off into a fit of jealousy and they all start actively undermining me to get ahead. makes me think if people can ever truly be happy for my accomplishments. im now terrified history is about to repeat. she has been very quiet in the chat so i know im cooked. im now 22 years old and fully convinced every time i get a best friend they leave my life after 7 years. is it a friendship curse? is it my 11th house lilith? im just going numb and confused atp.

hi all! just need a foreign opinion since i don’t even know if im thinking straight anymore.

to start, im 22f and early childhood wise me and my mom has had a very close relationship. she did her duties well as a mother to a daughter. she taught me about life, all kinds of safety, feminine and general self care and basically everything. she protected me from bad experiences as much as she could. i think she does love me actually, she has always said it. but yk she has showed her angry sides to me sometimes. she has always kinda shamed me for being the youngest child. i don’t have younger siblings. and i remember basically all her outbursts were about how im weak and naive bcz i dont have younger siblings to take care of (mind you im 5 and im not in control of my parents fertility 😂) and she looooooved omg she loooooves comparing me to other girls who had younger siblings and pointing out all my weaknesses and everything i did wrong. whenever i got home from being bullied by girls on the playground my mom would demand the full story and then point out everything i did wrong and then conclude all that into how im weak, dumb and naive and how i deserved it lol.

i don’t even remember having teen years honestly 😂. but the same bit of “every bad thing being my fault bcz i was weak and i deserved it” continued. i was a hormonal teenager back then so i would yk try to snap back sometimes and she would LITERALLY LAUGH ME LOL 😂. by that time i’ve obviously learned to hide feeling and emotions and everything. and yeah i don’t really remember much. apart from she always bought me clothes she liked, and rarely what i liked. so even my aesthetic taste isn’t even mine, it’s just what SHE likes.

from 19 ive just started to treat her as an explosive. always talk overly nicely and never set her off and shut up if i have to to keep the peace. and all the nasty things she would say just became noise, i would basically get selective deafness whenever she went on her rambles. and god forbid i repeated one of the criticisms she warned me about - even louder rambling and even more deafness.

now im 22 and im going abroad to study. now she is very controlling. she wants everything around her exactly the way she wants. she wants me to do exactly what she tells me. she still brings me to the banks and doctors as a 22 bcz she just has to. i kinda appreciate the error control she provides but idk i feel ashamed, i kinda wanna try and fail myself yk. it’s probably gonna be horrible but at least it’s mine. maybe im just spoiled and unappreciative. but im 22, im scared if this goes on im going to become a 30 yo who is fully dependent on her mom cz she never learned to do anything. i do (unsuccessfully) express that to her but she doesn’t understand.

and the worst part is i can never successfully express my standing with her cz i never learned to. even right now i have sooooooo much i want to say to her but im here writing this horror after hugging and baby talking with my mom minutes ago. i dont know why i do that, i just do that cz thats how i learned to protect myself. i am very negative and im borderline paranoid of everything.

that’s why i wanted to move abroad. to be in a world completely foreign to her so she cant navigate me. maybe i am just romanticizing the struggles of millions and should shut up and be grateful. i feel like im going crazy cz the world around me is perfectly smooth going but i can only see the mess. if yall have some tough advice on me, feel free to share. could all this just be a normal mom behavior? thank u for reading my rambling ❤️

i feel like the mongolian citizenship test would be washing greasy pans and pots in trickling cold water. if you can do that, it means you can survive in mongolia. or taking a full body shower in cold water or surviving 10 days without bathing 😂

what do you think would be the test? this is just for entertainment reasons btw.

hi! urgoo 3iin imaxaar yum uzuulj bgamu?