u/BestestMooncalf

She's 11, almost 12. Has had ARFID all her life - literally as soon as we started weaning. We've tried two therapists and a dietician, to very limited results.

I'm writing this because I'm processing and I have very few people in my life who really understand.

At the end of the session, I brought her some foods to try. She looked at them, decided what she wanted. Apple. I cut off a slice. She took a bite. Ate two more slices. Looked at the other options. Took a banana. Peeled it and took some bites.

She has not touched fruit in years.

It was so momentous and so very anticlimactic at the same time. No fanfare, just a kid trying foods.

She seemed a bit nonplussed herself. Previous attempts at exposure therapy had been like pulling teeth, requiring intense effort to even get herself to just lick the food. She ended up trying 7 foods in one session. She didn't like all or even most of them, but she was so relaxed. One of the first things she said after the sessions was how comfortable she had felt.

I'm honestly still processing and I'm sure she is, too. It was a 2 hour session so quite a lot to take in.

I know it's not a magic bullet, but it feels like we finally made some headway. For the first time in years, she engaged with 'unsafe' foods without fear.

My child has started puberty, and they've developed an outie. They're really struggling with chafing and friction. Our anatomy is very different, so I have no real advice to give her...

She'd really appreciate insider knowledge. 😅

- How do you deal with the friction?

- What kind of underwear is most comfortable?

- Is there anything she can do about it? (This breaks my heart, but it is a question she has so I'm asking it)

- Do you have any advice?

We have a very good relationship and open dialogue, I really want to help her navigate these changes and avoid her developing negative feelings towards her own genitals. So advice for me is very appreciated, too!

For now, I've advised her to wear loose clothing, reassured her that it's normal and showed her pictures from the labia gallery, and when she asked more urgently what can be done I have explained what labiaplasty is but explained that this is something she'd be able to choose as an adult so she could understand the risks and make an informed choice.

It really seems to bother her a lot, not looks-wise but just the day-to-day chafing. She has no symptoms of BV or yeast infection, I think it's really just her anatomy bothering her.