u/Beverlydriveghosts

I've almost finished my degree and feigning to get the fuck out of my parents' house. You can speak clear as day to my dad but I swear he doesn't listen. Like he interprets what he wants to. I will speak to my mom in the same room as him and wen I leave the room he will ask my mom what I just said and she has to repeat it all. I guess he just wants the abridged version? Maybe some subway surfers in the corner would help

I'm getting a job as soon as I qualify in my field of nursing and then I'm likely renting. I was speaking to my mom about it and going back and forth and my dad just pipes up like "I just think you're really naive to leave rn and rent without a job". Honestly I don't have the energy so I just kind of ignore him. My plan isn't naive at all, and I'm just shooting ideas in the early stages of thought. My mom shoots a quick "she said when she gets the job, not now". more talking. Then he pipes up again that "you could be getting a job rn, instead you're sitting about all day doing nothing" (they love saying this don't they) "dad... you don't even know what's going on you haven't been listening" My dad "I have been listening! you want to rent etc etc." Me: "Im still doing my degree dad. I haven't finished". my dad "Okay. well what do you want to do with your degree, what job do you want to get?" "Dad, what degree am I doing?" my dad "uhh... psychology". "no dad..." My mom was dumbfounded. I'm kind of shocked but kind of not really shocked. But yeah you proved my point, dad you don't even know wtf is going on and you're literally in the same room as us speaking. No conversation has been had without you in the room.

Yeah honestly I feel just so destroyed. I'm so over it. I wanna go. If there wasn#t an abolsutely perfect moment to evidence why I need to get out of here. Thank god for venlaflaxine tho cause honestly that would have sent me into a spiral years ago.

A lot of people think of avoidants as people who will randomly ghost people when someone is treating them well, which is true for some. In my case ive been treated poorly by many people, constantly disappointed, retreat into myself and become hyper independent so i dont rely on anyone.

But at the same time I have such a victim complex. Yes there were circumstances where i have been a victim, but im not every time. My brain creates this “woe is me” when there’s conflict and will cherry pick information to make me into a victim in my head. Then I shut down, want to isolate and run away.

But I still don’t trust people to treat me well. I can’t tell what’s real sometimes. Am i rly being treated badly or am I victimising myself? I wanna get out of this mindset and empower myself but the only way I can do that is independence, that’s all I know

Last couple years I’ve tried to accept people as they are and meet them as they are. People have told me I expect too much from people. So I crawl back into my shell not wanting to know anyone. It’s too painful.

When it comes to a relationship I am so scared you guys. I feel like it will either be live alone and accept it or accept that I won’t be treated exactly how I want or deserve to be. My parents relationship messed me up.

Just thought it would be nice

Dads smashed, the passive aggression is high, everything has to be commented on or criticised and I’m going to bed lol