u/Big-Path-8274

**Hear me out. Instead of these long, boring speeches about policy, why don't we just have the candidates play the latest city-building game for 48 hours? The one with the highest population and best happiness rating gets the office for four years. It would actually show who can manage a budget and keep people happy. It feels like a much more fair and "darkly" logical way to do things than what we have now.**

**Go to the library and pick up the thickest, most difficult-looking book you can find (like** ***Ulysses*** **or** ***Infinite Jest*****). Carry it around with you all day, but keep it upside down the whole time. If someone asks you about it, just look at them with pity and say "you wouldn't get it, it's a different perspective." It’s hilarious watching people try to figure out if you're a genius or just messing with them.**

**Tell your friends you’re making "gourmet fusion" for dinner. When they get excited and sit down, serve them a bowl of dry, unseasoned plain pasta. When they look confused, tell them the "fusion" is Italian-Minimalism. Then watch them struggle to be polite because they don't want to seem uncultured. (Don't tell them it's a joke for at least an hour... it's a great test of their loyalty!)**

**Tell your friends you’re making "gourmet fusion" for dinner. When they get excited and sit down, serve them a bowl of dry, unseasoned plain pasta. When they look confused, tell them the "fusion" is Italian-Minimalism. Then watch them struggle to be polite because they don't want to seem uncultured. (Don't tell them it's a joke for at least an hour... it's a great test of their loyalty!)**

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