Parasocial......
Madness...I would have assumed I know the feeling at this late stage in my life but I have a....unhealthy (feels heavy to type) fixation on Aurora. Horrible, Spooky words but I need to explain the nonsense parasocial fecking stupidity I'm about to try and explain.
I can only hope that some other eejit understands.
Fandom is a thing. Stans are a scare.
I have got to the point (fucking idiotic to type) that I can't hear Aurora's music and vocals without feeling a intense crippling saddness. Loneliness. To capture it....
I met Aurora and had a 2 second nothing chat early last year. She was completely normal and sweet but for some reason I had decided that was my only chance at happiness.
I said hello and quickly moved away while I told myself she didn't want to be bothered. She asked a follow-up question and I responded "No" and left.
I fell apart.
If only I had looked after my weight, if I had done something about my crooked teeth. Christ almighty couldn't I summon any basic charm!
I somehow couldn't except that I blundered my moment.
This is so fucking stupid to try and be made take seriously.
To summarise my shit;
Meeting Aurora broke my brain and made me sad.