r/Ayahuasca

I’ve been reading a lot of discussions here about the balance between traditional, indigenous led ceremonies and modern, structured western approaches.

Some people argue that you need the raw, traditional jungle environment to truly connect with the medicine. Others swear that having a structured setting with clear psychological support, pre-screening, and a safety net is essential, especially for western minds processing deep trauma or severe anxiety.

For those who have experienced both (or have a strong stance):

Where do you draw the line? Does a highly structured or clinical environment strip away the magic, or is it a necessary evolution for modern integration? I’d love to hear some balanced perspectives.

Has anyone got this shock after coming home to the normal environment and same people and felt like you need more time away. Or feel the need to go back to Peru? Like months after.

I will be visiting Peru in August and for years have been planning to experience an ayahuasca ceremony.

From my research it sounds as if paculppa is the place to go to have an authentic experience. I am trying to avoid a touristic center and the price points of those are also shocking.

My major concern about going to the area and looking for a practitioner there is I would prefer to not end up in any compromising situations or take a subpar brew and be found wandering in the jungle.

If anyone has advice on finding a practitioner, things to see in the area or any other general knowledge it would be greatly appreciated.

Posting here because I hope someone else will share if they’ve heard similar things in their experiences (and because this is where others could process this without straight dismissal). I’m still integrating, and writing this out is part of that.

Quick context. I’m was a fairly grounded guy before this journey. Not someone who studied eastern religions or thinking (that has since changed). Wife, friends, job. Not someone who walks around quoting Alan Watts at parties. I went to Soltara after a best friend passed, and with childhood trauma I hoped to resolve. I was curious, a little nervous, and reasonably skeptical, but I stayed open minded during the week. Came home with something I can’t put down.

I sat three ceremonies. The second and third were beautiful in their own right (and the second directly help me remove a block around my childhood trauma) but this is about the first one, which rearranged the furniture in my head and is still rearranging it over a year later. It didn’t make me a believer. It made me a seeker. That distinction matters to me and I’ll come back to it.

The BIG parts of this night happened after the ceremony wrapped around midnight and they let anyone who wanted to return to their rooms go with a group. I was among them. Roughly five hours of BIG experience happens after I get back to my room and have one sip of water before lying down. Here’s how it went (Short version):

Phase 1. Reality showed me its source code. I started moving through what looked like temples built out of math. Geometry folding into geometry, all interlocking, all moving. I wasn’t in my body, just a perception moving through the space. Objects would sort of present themselves to me at times, like a museum where the exhibits know you’re there.

It was beautiful and intricate and the colors seemed to be from another spectrum, but the images were sharp.

Phase 2. The download. Information started arriving at a speed I cannot describe. Not sentences. Whole structures and frameworks, handed across. It’s hard to describe what I really mean. It’s like you know you‘re receiving a transmission but you’re not really built to receive it. When it overwhelmed me I thought “please slow down” and it would, it slowed down.

That’s the part that made me realize I wasn’t alone in there. Whatever was on the other end, or on my end, was paying attention. Imagine drinking from a fire hose, and the fire hose noticing and dialing itself back to a garden hose. That’s a relationship.

Phase 3. Higher beings. Eventually I get to the end of this temple and I enter a completely dark space. My wife is both all of a sudden present and also it felt like she was the one operating the download. This was my wife, but she was her higher self and I never actually saw her. I just knew she was there. She was both the woman I knew and loved back home, and something much more. Note: She was at home, not at the retreat. I heard her thoughts, and we spoke at the speed of thought.

I want to be clear about what I’m claiming here, which is nothing. I don’t know what any of this truly was — and that’s a constant for me now to wonder and seek to understand. But it felt exactly like her, just at a much higher frequency. Like meeting the version of someone you love that knows them at a depth they don’t even have access to themselves. We talk more and for the majority of the 5 hours.

Phase 4. Fractals. She started teaching me. I’d recently lost my best friend Chris. I received (the way you receive things in there, not in words) that Chris was a “fractal” of me, and that he returned to my higher self when he passed. I also learned I have many of them in this life (fractals), and others are fractals of their higher selves. People I love deeply. People who annoy me because they reflect things I won’t look at in myself. Many of them are fractals of me.

I‘m told, beyond fractals, there are countless versions of me in other realities. I then see glimpses of myself living other lives in other realities.

Phase 5. A sculpture made of suffering. My wife showed me her suffering from this experience as a sculpture. Geometry again, beautiful and moving and complicated. When I looked at it I could see the parts I’d contributed to. No story I could tell myself, no defense, just the shape. I cried in the way you cry when something is undeniably true and pierces you.

The “higher view” didn’t let me off the hook. It made the hook sharper. I felt both the sadness of realizing the pain I caused and the compassion and pure love my wife gave to me as she shared it.

Phase 6. Brotherhood, and meeting myself. Other beings showed up, all without bodies but all recognizable to me. One of them I knew immediately as my close friend, Jason. We were brothers in this place, and had been for a long time. There was a reverence around him from the others. I felt honored to know him and feel close to him, and I could feel how big his heart and spirit were in this place (In this life, he is also a big guy in size).

I learned that my wife “created” me and that she is an elder architect like Jason. That she is an architect of this experience, among others. I also learned that I’m an architect too (this is very self serving, I know). I met, what I can only call my true self, and I loved it. That’s the moment I keep coming back to. I met the kind being I actually am underneath all of this ego and I loved it.

Phase 7. I asked questions. Religions? Monuments to elder consciousnesses and each have truths and have something to offer us all. Like statues we build to mark that something big once stood here, except the something is still around.

Mass killings and children dying? In this place, which I was told was outside of space and time as I know it, they were just part of this experience and no one is lost. The acts themselves matter less than the lessons and what we gain.

There was a lot of time spent on suffering. in this space, I felt complete connection. I felt peace, contentment, I felt like my true self without ego. Thats when I realized just being in this experience is an act of suffering. Not to say that we are here to suffer, but that it comes with the experience and we gain more than we lose through it in some way. Embrace it.

I’m still sitting with this one. The architect view made it feel okay, but the suffering sculpture argued the opposite. I’m holding both.

Trump? Oh yeah, at some point I just straight up ask, ”So what is Trump all about and what’s the deal there?”. I’m not trying to get political, but I see him as a surreal character who makes no sense to me. “A product of the collective consciousness. A part the collective repressed. Just like when you repress a part of you, it finds a way into the experience as a fractal — the same is true with the collective consciousness”. This is the answer that became a theory I share later. More on that in a second.

Phase 8. Coming back. I begged for a sign in this life that any of it was real. The sign didn’t come. I didn’t want to leave. I wanted to stay. The ceremony closed. I came back to my body. The sun was coming up.

—

Okay, the theory.

I’m calling it the Theory of Higher Selves. It’s basically this.

Consciousness is the substrate. Everything else is shapes inside it (that part is not new, but I’m in agreement). And it scales fractally in both directions.

Imagine a Russian doll, but it doesn’t stop, and each doll is its own conscious being.

Going down: you have parts of yourself (the Internal Family System or IFS idea, parts work, whatever you want to call it). Those parts have their own sub-parts. All the way down.

Going up: you are a part of something. Your relationships are tiny consciousnesses made of you and the other person. Your community is a consciousness. Your culture is a consciousness. Your generation is a consciousness. (Boomers and Millennials really do behave like two different personalities, right?) Humanity is a consciousness. And it keeps going.

The same patterns repeat at every scale. Feelings, moods, traits, personality. Real at the individual level, real at the cultural level. A culture has moods. A generation has traits. They get repressed, they have shadows, they project, they integrate. The Trump answer I got was just this idea at the cultural scale. A repressed shadow grew until it walked back into the room.

Here’s the metaphor I keep coming back to.

You know how a hologram works? You can break the holographic plate into pieces, and each piece contains the whole image, just at lower resolution. I think consciousness might be like that. You are the whole thing, at the resolution your aperture allows. So am I. So is your dog. So is a tree. So is humanity. So is, presumably, whatever the universe is up to overall.

A drop in the ocean. An ocean in a drop. And both true.

You’re not a small piece of God. You’re God at the size of a person or God experiencing a person. Which sounds “woo-woo” until you remember that the whole point of a fractal is that the small version isn’t a downgrade. It’s the full pattern at a different scale.

I think this is what every mystic has been trying to say (or the ones I selectively have sought out after this experience seem to say). And the IFS people are accidentally describing cosmology while doing therapy.

And I think the only reason it feels weird is because we live inside a materialistic world that decided matter was the substrate and consciousness was something matter does sometimes. Flip those, and a lot of stuff starts making more sense.

My patience for writing every detail of everything that was shared in this session or my own interpretation and theory around it is thin, and my insecurity that anyone will want to read it limits me too. Thanks for reading if you made it here!

Just out of curiosity is that recommended or any1 tried that?

Has anyone that travels from the US to Peru for ceremonies been getting travel vaccines? The recommendations seem to be for yellow fever and typhoid. I'm assuming it's necessary because of spending a week or more in the jungle and remote areas.

Hi! I’m an opioid addicted from 2009 , I’m always been a “Functional one “ .
I’m a professional tattoo artist, so i never had a money problem but at one point, I decided to start methadone mantainance because i understood after multiple relapse, that I didn’t have to rush my Detox because I didn’t feel ready.
Now that i feel ready , I don’t know how to handle it .
I already tried detox centers but it was nkt for me .
I heard that you can detox with ayahuaska and even being helped from this plant to fight some demons that maybe i still don’t see or remember.
And I have only one month to detox in August because is dificoult for me to leave my job for more months .
I wanna know if I have to detox from the Methadone first or I can do it there and if is really possible to do it .
I have to plan it mostly because I’m in Italy .
In my sistem i take also some sertraline . Notthing more . I donmt touch Heroin from 2020.

Hi everyone,

I’m currently looking for a retreat for my first Ayahuasca experience and would really appreciate perspectives from people who have attended either Soltara or Paojilhuasca.

I feel genuinely conflicted between the two options.

On one hand, Soltara seems incredibly safe, structured, professional, and emotionally supportive. Part of me feels that this kind of environment could help me surrender more deeply without being distracted by concerns around safety, logistics, or overwhelm.

At the same time, I wonder whether one week and multiple ceremonies in a relatively larger group would give me enough time to properly process and integrate each experience before moving into the next one.

For those who attended Soltara: did you feel like the pace, time, and level of support were enough for deeper emotional work?

On the other hand, I’m also considering spending around 3 weeks at Paojilhuasca. It really seems like my vibe. The idea of disconnecting for longer, being in the jungle, slowing down, reflecting, and having more time for integration feels potentially more transformative to me. Regardless of comfort.

But I also recognize that a more raw and less structured environment could be challenging for a first experience, especially since I’m approaching this from a place of wanting real healing rather than adventure or curiosity.

My intention is to work through long-standing fear, anxiety, shame, and emotional heaviness that I feel I’ve carried for years.

I’d really appreciate any honest perspectives from people who have experience with either retreat, especially if you went there seeking deep emotional healing rather than just exploration.

Thank you.

I've noticed that for a lot of people getting ready for a retreat, the physical preparation and the strict pre-diet can feel harder than the spiritual work itself. What was the one food or habit you missed the most during your last dieta? Did breaking it early affect your journey at all? I'd love to know how you guys manage the cravings.

Hey all

Sat with the medicine for the second time yesterday. Beautiful ceremony, strong medicine in an incredible location.

After drinking the 3rd cup, and the aya had finished cleaning my body, I was invited to die and ascend from my body to the other realms, but I fought against and it said I was not ready.

It told me that I should trust it that I would return, but only my second time drinking, and I told aya I wasn't ready

Has this happened to anyone before?

If so, and you said yes, what happened?

If so and you said no, have you had the invitation again since?

Preface:

Male (23). I have never done Ayahuasca.

This is a bit of an unusual situation. A few years back I took a three-week trip to Peru and spent about a week camping in the Amazon out of Iquitos. I hit it off with my guide, and since then we’ve become close friends and somewhat business partners. He’s indigenous to a village about four hours by boat from Nauta. I’m returning to Peru, and together we’ll be exploring untouched tributaries of the Ucayali, surviving, camping, and looking for jaguars. This isn’t a tourist experience. It’s entirely based on connection; my friend doesn’t even work for the tour company anymore. No logistical support, we bring our own equipment and drive the boat ourselves, relying on one other local with familiarity in the region.

Why I am considering it:

After our week in the jungle, we’ll have about four days of downtime and I’m heavily considering ayahuasca. My friend has the spot and connections already picked out. This is not a tourist-forward aya lodge. The shaman is well-trusted and respected, used by locals and natives. No website, no social media, minimal infrastructure. Basically a self-functioning village deep in the jungle.

The reason I’m seriously considering it: this would likely be as authentic an ayahuasca experience as a non-native could ever receive. One on one, no money hungry shaman, no performance for outsiders. A genuinely once in a lifetime opportunity.

Since my first trip, I’ve become obsessed with the Amazon, pre-Columbian culture, and history. About a third of my library is dedicated to it. The jungle is the most spiritually intense place on earth (even sober) and I genuinely feel part of my spirit now belongs there. Ayahuasca feels like a natural next step deeper into a world I’ve fallen in love with.

There are also things I’d like to refine in myself. My job is good, but I doubt it’s my destiny. My girlfriend is great, but I sometimes wrestle with whether she’s the one. I’d like more clarity on purpose, and I feel a trip inward could offer perspective that fuels some growth.

Why I am hesitant:

I don’t have a big “healing” reason to take aya. I’m a genuinely positive person, financially independent, good job with a promotion coming in July, a supportive family, stable relationships, and girlfriend of over a year. Whatever I’ve been through in life, I’ve largely processed and accepted. I don’t feel a strong cosmic pull to upend anything.

I also worry: do I really want to risk my mental stability and perspective for a one time experience? Some of the other posts on Reddit are very unsettling, people describing years of psychological fallout from a single bad session.

Background in substances:

I’m not new to psychedelics. I took half a tab of LSD in high school, which was very controllable, and mildly rewarding. And Mushrooms about four to six times over the years at Dead shows and wilderness adventures, those experiences ranging from recreationally fun to spiritually meaningful. However no dramatic epiphanies, mostly a deep appreciation for who I am and some ego-free self criticism that tends to motivate improvement.

I know I’m not a pro lol. Just trying to understand what I’d actually be getting into. I’m curious to hear your thoughts!

Hi all, I’m planning my first trip to Peru and narrowed down to the following retreats based on research. I'm nearing a year after experiencing an obliterating divorce, and I'm ready to come to terms with many emotions I have repressed throughout the years. I am aiming for the first week of August at either of the following retreats:

• Onikano
• Dreamglade
• Ronin Sina
• Paojilhuasca

My priorities are:

• safety
• authentic experience
• manageable logistics for a first-time Peru traveler who doesn't speak the language..
• 5–7 day retreat
• smaller groups / good facilitator support (I truly don't know what to expect so don't want to be left on my own)
• reasonable comfort level, not expecting luxury, just basic infrastructure for bathrooms since I may have diarrhea

I’d especially appreciate hearing from people who have personally stayed at one or more of these places.

Some questions I’m trying to evaluate:

• How safe and well-run did the retreat feel?
• How difficult was it getting there?
• What was the actual accommodation quality like?
• Did you feel emotionally supported during ceremonies?
• Were there any red flags or things you wish you knew beforehand?
• Would you choose the same place again?

Would appreciate honest experiences, including negatives. Trying to avoid choosing purely based on marketing websites. Thank you in advance!

Hi all, I've been wanting to experience the medicine for some years now and have finally been able to book flights for June. I am currently deciding between the following retreats:

Healing Tree Center (HTC), Lighthouse, Yosi Ocha (Onikano).

I have prior experience with some psyhadelics but in general have a trouble purging - even with food poisoning, stuff usually comes out the other end.

I've been in touch with HTC and though largely it appears to be decent and meet my check boxes, they are adamant about a "salt water detox" in the days leading up to the retreat. The information they've sent describes "forced bowel movement" and stomach cleansing. I was just wondering are these types of things absolutely necessary in order to partake ?

Or, is it just this retreat (HTC) ? In the absence of standardized practices - each enforces their own set of philosophies..

Hello group

I have a question

I've already done several ceremonies

And all of them have been fantastic

It helped me a lot in life

I've had 8 ceremonies all in the same place Rythmia but I want to know

Because in the Yagé ceremonies the experience is stronger

My other nights with Ayahuasca were not so deep, the experience was incredible

My husband and I have been on a path of healing for several years and within the past year, have felt called to Aya. Traveling to a retreat is not possible (his addiction issues have caused financial strain and debt) and we have not been able to find any resources in our area...so I found the ingredients and preparation instructions with the intention of sitting with Aya at home. But now Im worried this is above my pay grade.

In a conversation in preparation for the ceremony, he told me about a time in college when he tried mushrooms and the next day he woke up with a feeling that his father had molested him in childhood and it had a "ritual, ceremonial" vibe to it. Not a memory. Just a vague feeling. He chalked it up to imagination.

Fast forward to his fathers deathbed (alcoholism), he catches sight of his fathers genitals while a nurse is caring for him and it triggers the same feeling again but stronger. This time he sits with it and realizes he does have a memory of an older childhood friend initiating sex acts at age 10 (the boy offers to let him sodomize him after teaching him how to mastrubate). So he explains it as a false memory. He also relayed a story his sister told where she woke up in the middle of the night with blood between her legs and their father was in her room, drunk. She says she thinks it was a false memory.

An important detail, my husbands father was a 3rd generation Scottish Rite Mason, the boy from the memory was also from a family involved in freemasonry. We now understand that freemasonry (at its highest levels) is luciferianism and that child molestation/SRA underpins the religious cult. He has no actual memories of abuse, but there is enough to be wary.

My question is, would you move forward without a guide/shaman given its this or staying stuck? Obviously we would very much prefer the guidance of, well, anyone...but can it be done in a benificial way without it? He has had little success with other things over the years (therapy, rehab, meditation, shadow work, sheer force of will ect.) And he is tired and desperate for this last ditch effort. He is not afraid to remember and is ready to confront his demons and his ego, regardless of how bad it may be. Can I trust Aya to be gentle and healing for him in case he does have possible traumatic memories? Does anyone else have experience with repressed memories coming through in ceremony?

I’ll try to make this short. Starting from the beginning: As a child I never had any mental health issues except some anxiety. As a teen, I went through A LOT of trauma that I’ve been recovering from for years and because of that trauma I was on abilify among other antipsychotics at different times throughout the healing process. Only because of the trauma. Please keep that in mind-I’m not diagnosed with anything. I literally just have anxiety.

Fast forward to today, I’m tapering off of abilify-the absolute lowest dose and only every other day. My first ceremony ever is in 2 weeks and one day. I thought I had to be off of it for 2 weeks but perplexity is now telling me I have to be off of it for 2-3 weeks and that if I stop the medication tonight, by the time of the ceremony, I’ll have about 10-20% of it in my system?

Now, perplexity is known for getting things wrong so I’m asking y’all for help. I really NEED this retreat and I’ve already paid for everything, made the reservations, flights, everything. I’m going to toss my medication tonight.

Is it safe to go to the retreat? Again, it’s in 2 weeks and 1 day. Is there anything I can do (other than sweating and exercise) to get this stuff out of my system? Anything y’all recommend?

Oh btw the retreat is about a week long and I’m doing aya and bufo or kanga. Last thing… perplexity told me that bufo and kanga could potentially be very dangerous even without having any western medicine in your system? I don’t know what to believe at this point.

Thank y’all so much!