u/BitchyHyena

I'm European and it seems batshit bonkers to do it unless there's a medical reason for it.

I often see pearl-clutching over these subjects, in erotica and in popular fiction, appear again and again, and it is difficult to write it off as anything other than piss-poor reading comprehension. Showing unease with it is expected and totally fine, but a lot of these people want it to simply not exist and deem you a horrible person for consuming it. In a lot of aspects, it is misunderstood as an endorsement of said subjects from the writer, which creates a larger problem that affects the fiction provided to us. It creates dumber fiction and thus, dumber viewers. You see it on TV today. Music, plots, lines, or shots are often added to tell the reader "um akshually, this is bad ☝️", instead of simply letting the observer think for themselves. It makes sense in children's fiction. It does not make sense in adult fiction. You should be able to think for yourself and know that obviously these things are not socially acceptable. Why would you need to be parented by a piece of media?

Now, we have even moved on to criticizing consensual sex on screen because it makes us uncomfortable. All of the subjects above make us uncomfortable, but this need to never feel uncomfortable, does it serve us? I know that it doesn't make us think. A lot of uncomfortable things happen in real life and art should be a reflection of all areas of life. We want to lay back on the couch and mindlessly consume, and the uncomfortableness ruins it. I get it. One can discuss why we are so comfortable with violence and death then? Maybe because we see it more on the news and in real life, while anything with a sexual aspect to it is neatly packaged in censorship. I don't think that serves us either.

I see the arguments about those depictions being triggering, the arguments about it condoning it, the arguments about sexism in relation to rape scenes, the arguments about it potentially inspiring people to do these things. I need you to understand that I am a woman and a former victim of SA, which is exactly why I will talk people's ears off about it. This is not some gooner perspective. A lot of people's understanding of SA doesn't go further than "rape bad". They don't understand what it does to a person, why it is so horrible, why it happens, the wide variety of ways it CAN happen. It's uncomfortable to discuss. You can read about it in a clinical way, yes, but we understand things much better through feelings and images. Very few series, movies, and books that depict that specific subject shows how it actually is, because due to potential backlash, no one wants to go the realistic route or delve too deep into it. Furthermore, even if they do, they rarely depict the less acceptable effects, for example, a rape victim turning hypersexual as a way to cope, because that depicts the victim in a bad light. It is something that can be totally normal given the circumstances and no one should feel ashamed about though. It also makes it difficult for real victims to talk about their experiences if they don't look like they do in the movies.

What about the gooners though, BitchyHyena? What about the people who may become inspired to do horrible things because of these depictions? We have somewhat largely accepted the narrative that depictions of violence doesn't create mass shootings, or we would all be psychopaths. It is the same thing here. Even in erotica, a person can get off on the idea of something without wanting to actually do it. Open up AO3. You'll find thousands of women getting off on non-con fanfics and more morbid shit than you could ever imagine. It does not mean these women want to be raped. They're exploring their sexuality in a way where no one is getting hurt. It's fiction. The victims in it aren't real. Some write and read it as a way to cope with trauma. Some simply find it interesting to explore. Some will draw the line between women, who are stereotypically the victim, and men, who are stereotypically the perpetrator, consuming these types of fiction. This is not just sexist, but it is also faulty logic. No matter the gender, if you're not predisposed to doing anything horrible in the first place, fiction won't convince you that it's normalized or okay. Just like with violent movies.

A very large part of rapists, pedos, and the like, don't think to themselves "hehe I'm going to do the evil thing". They justify it for themselves and would often be outraged to put whatever label on it. One could wonder if it could in fact be more avoidable if media talked openly and diversely about these experiences, victims, and perpetrators, so that they don't just imagine it as something happening in a dark room with someone cackling in an evil way. That's not reality.

Yes, I am aware that there are depictions of exactly this above out there. I'm talking more broadly about people's reaction to it and the general avoidance of certain ways of depicting it.

Hey. I think it would be neat with some cool internet FRIENDS. Once again, if it was confusing in both the title and the beginning of this post, I just want to emphasize the FRIEND part. That means keeping your peepee in your pants and being respectful. If I get even a "hi beautiful", I will eat you. Please and thank you.

It would be preferred if you're older than me. Idk. I just vibe better with people who are 30+. I like knowing who I'm talking to so if you're comfortable showing a (NICE CLEAN PG-13) pic of yourself, that would be cool. It's mostly a precaution too.

About me: I'm Danish. I like to game (The Isle currently, some Hearthstone, BG3) and I like to travel. I've started to work out a little too. I have Aspergers, if that's interesting to you, and I live with my two cats. I'm an English major who is minoring in Danish.

What about you?

Tell me about the weird dream you had last night in excruciating detail. I want to know what's going on inside that weird noggin of yours when you sleep. Idk. I find it fascinating and a lot more interesting than asking someone what they did yesterday. I don't get why people are so disinterested in it. I find it cool. Especially if I star in the dream. What an honor. What did Dream BitchyHyena get up to? Who is she?

Thought it might be one of the rarer ones that pop up in here and I find that it's a religion that is often misunderstood.

Hiii. I've posted in here before but I didn't really find anyone I vibe with yet. I live in Scandinavia and I'm studying.

I would highly prefer:

- If you were older than me (30+)

- If you were okay with exchanging pics. It's nice to see who I'm talking with.

- If you wrote more than "hi". What do you do for work? How old are you? Where are you from? Etc. Give me something.

- And because my last post apparently was too short: how tf are twinkies a popular snack in America? It's the most underwhelming thing that has graced my tongue in my life. Death to them. Actually if you like that sh*t, don't even bother texting me. I will not hear you out. The memory of it p*sses me off.

Thank you for reading.

Hiii. I'm about to have a lot of spare time after my exams are over so I'm looking for someone cool to chat with.

I'm Scandinavian. I like to travel so maybe we could even meet up one day. Who knows?

I prefer:

- That you are older than me.

- That you write more than just "hi". Doesn't have to be an autobiography but at least give me a brief overview. Where are you from? What do you do for work? What's your favorite color? (idk, something)

- I do think it's very cool to know what you look like. I can send a picture back too.

Replies may be scattered for a few days but I'll catch up once some of my exam stuff is done and over with.

Hiii. I'm about to have a lot of spare time after my exams are over so I'm looking for someone cool to chat with.

I'm Scandinavian. I like to travel so maybe we could even meet up one day. Who knows?

I prefer:

- That you are older than me.

- That you write more than just "hi". Doesn't have to be an autobiography but at least give me a brief overview. Where are you from? What do you do for work? What's your favorite color? (idk, something)

- I do think it's very cool to know what you look like. I can send a picture back too.

Replies may be scattered for a few days but I'll catch up once some of my exam stuff is done and over with.