u/BlackberryPerfect938

My situation is that i and girl i'm texting both live in EU in different countries.

I realize how awkward it is to just ask out to meet after a day or two, cause setting up meeting is harder then if we both lived in same country, as in maybe hotels, flights, who hosts, who travels (most likely me?).

I don't want to text too long, i just want to meet. casually.

How long did you first ask her out to meet?

I'm not diagnosed and i dont want to believe i have autism, i want to believe im normal, some of my acquaintances and my mom asked if i have autism so idk.

so here is my short social situation story:

per-school i had a few friends, i was awesome, i dont have a contact to any of those friends (no phone, no internet). ALL of them left my lame ass country.

in school i was extremely awkward and was ignored by all class-mates. i was lonely, shy, depressed. I was not bullied at all but it still left some kind of scar to this day. covid did NOT help.

after school i picked programming, dropped out, i felt as programming is becoming more useless due AI, finished as electrician just now (literally finished the final exam and will get my certificate in few days). random jobs here and there.

I became more abrasive / assertive / confident.

I contacted my class friends. i feel like i weirded them out or they where no longer interested. i feel like i scared them off somehow. i suggested them free drinks and shit. getting ghosted or "im busy"

randomly while walking alone i met a rugby team and i asked if i could join, they added me to facebook group so that i can catch up with them. all i see in that chat is random (recent?) group photos posted sometimes, i want to meet them but i dont know how and whats going on. i tried inviting THEM to some of my activities, none of them text me back.

i have literally 1 friend and he is anti-social. i invite him to ANYTHING (e.g. play basketball) he refuses every time.

nowadays, im looking for someone to meet in discord, reddit. no luck yet.

im about to turn 25. this shit hurts man.

I've hooked up with a prostitute and couldn't make it stand. (but i was stressed out and left, still payed her)

digital porn no longer turns me on (for like 0.5 year)

I've been not having morning wood for like 5 years (probably not as important as internet makes it out to be tho)

i've been single for whole life.

my parents are constantly insisting that i get a girlfriend. don't really want to.

I eat healthy, i sleep good, no drugs / cigs / alcohol, im not fat, kindof lazy, good blood tests, not depressed, good money.

I worry about loosing my ability to getting excised by girls.

I want to either forget it all live the rest of my sexless life or get my drive back somehow.

last thing i'll try, i registered to urologist next week and will try to exercise more idk.

if that won't work, then i'll need to find more jobs to do to use my time and forget about it. i think about it too much nowadays.