u/BlorkSmuth

You were supposed to be the best friend I grew old with

The friend that was my maid of honor

The friend who became my children's biggest supporter, as I was for your son

You were supposed to be the person who held my secrets as close as I held yours, and love eachother through the bonds we built from the time we were children

Instead?

I got married without you by my side

I went through my first pregnancy without you by my side

My son will never know you, he'll only know your son through our families getting them together

You were supposed to be the number one person in my life aside from the man I married and the children I bear.

Instead you will be the story I share with my children when they experience their first friendship fall apart. Youll be the example I give to my children of how people can lie and lie and lie to themselves until their lies are the only story they believe, regardless of who knows the truth.

You'll be ONE SAD story.

When you were supposed to be IN our story.

I (32f) and my husband (36m) have been in a few closed triad relationships over the years, and we are finding the same trend; either we arent explaining the expectations correctly, or the ladies we are dating are not being truthful about their expectations/understanding of our expectations.

When we begin chatting with someone, we make known what we are looking to achieve with the person; a relationship where she dates me, he dates her, and then our relationship.

So far we've had one individual attempt to break up our marriage and "steal him" which obviously didnt work. One girl clearly thought it was just fun hookups, another came for the first meet up/sleep over, everything seemed great until i had to leave for a family obligation, and spent hours trying to get Into verbal alterations with my husband. And many many others who are in other open enm relationships who want to unicorn for us or want to couple swap with us.

Do we need to be more blunt and up front about our expectations?

Are we not looking inthe right places?

Hubs and I are poly, we have had a few unicorn/triad style relationships that have ended for one mutual thing or another. And a few that didnt even get off the getting to know eachother stage

Its been a fun life

But I am so annoyed by the "skip getting to know eachother and jump right to expecting sexy texting" people

Am I too old fashioned? Am I suddenly finding out im a little demi sexual and need some kind of connection beyond "hi my name is xyz, show me your boobs"

Am I wrong in wanting to communicate enough to see if the individual is even understanding or seeking similarly to what I'm looking for?

I'm tempted to throw in the towel here for a few months until I can deal with the "dating"scene