Image 1 — BEHOLD, GENTLETHEMS!!!
Image 2 — BEHOLD, GENTLETHEMS!!!
▲ 43 r/disabledmemes+1 crossposts

BEHOLD, GENTLETHEMS!!!

AFTER A GREAT MANY HOURS OF TOIL AND TURMOIL MY COLLEAGUE HATH CREATED HIS FIRST LIFE BEYOND LIFE! BEYOND THAT WHICH MORTAL HAVE EVER CONCEIVED OF BEFORE! AN HOMUNCULUS! CURRENTLY, SAID COLLEAGUE HAS CHARGED ME WITH ITS CARE WHILE HE IS PLANESWALKING THROUGH THE OUTERMOST REALMS OF DEBAUCHERY, AS HE RELAYED BY ORB “gettijg fuckin crunk, lol. thx bro”

MY QUESTION IS THUS:

how do i tell him it like…fuckin sucks? without hurting his feelings, because, like… it’s a terrible homunculus. it ain’t got no skin, its teeth grow on the outside for some reason, and it can’t speak other than the most painful sounding wails, like you’re stabbing it in the guts, but it’s just sitting there, and no one is touching it, and it doesn’t even have any guts.

it can’t do anything other than hold one thing, and one thing only so i have it hold the keys to my tower. away from me.

EDIT: ATTACHED ARE PHOTOGRAPHS FOR REFERENCE, MY COLLEAGUE’S TRANSMUTATION ARRANGEMENT

u/Bojangalees — 3 days ago
▲ 5 r/DungeonMasters+1 crossposts

Help me balance my Wight Brothers homebrew encounter

My party is being hunted by a legion of undead known as the Grim Harrow, and i’m really enjoying having a “theme” to stick to when it comes to combat.

that being said all these undead are getting a little stale and what i thought would be u treating would be to have a pair of Wights be the hunt leaders and have a special ability where they can merge their bodies into one

i don’t want to go too crazy but they are quite a combat proficient party so i was thinking it would go like this;

When about half hp or lower, they’ll have to deal bludgeoning damage to each other (opposite of ochre jelly splitting) and then combine their remaining hit points. maybe a small buff to strength for an extra point of damage, and i think i want them to be able to fly, like maybe they used some of the extra flesh between the two to make wings or something.

all help is appreciated, yall are the bomb

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u/Bojangalees — 24 days ago
▲ 77 r/trees

It’s your Bubble, back from smoking books of the bible, imbibing by way of botanicals

Not too long ago yall really laid into me for smoking bible pages. still as disorganized, but my bible is storage with the rest of my life so i’ve had to go another route. not a bad flavor, might have to check out the rest of the saiyans as pipes

u/Bojangalees — 1 month ago
▲ 329 r/DMAcademy

When to drop the Paladin of Consequence on the party?

My party of absolute miscreants have created a monster. A towering Revenge Paladin who’s survived by imagining success in one goal: deliver retribution on the people that left him for dead in the desert as a child.

long story short, they met a spoiled little brat and showed him through the portal to the infinite staircase in their office closet to the deserts of Faerun and just kinda…left him there. which i pretty much figured they would do, so i baited them and now that child is going to grow up fighting for his life and survive only by spite and skill.

how exactly should i use him? any good ideas to flavor kit? thanks in advance!

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u/Bojangalees — 1 month ago

seeking advice: To make an enemy or an ally

i decided to pull out a homebrew heist for my players that culminated in a false allyship with an underground boss. the party posed as employees and helped drill into a vault that turned out to be empty (except for a secret compartment that had the real treasure) and the while the boss was distracted they cheesed it.

should this boss find out and start sending people after the party or just accept that they’re on his payroll and keep trying to give them underground jobs?

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u/Bojangalees — 2 months ago
▲ 23 r/Ska

Skaedging myself all day until the Bad Time Tour tonight

Currently playing Candlemass and depriving myself of ska all day until it’s time throw the fuck down and pick it up.

See you nerds at the Milestone!

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u/Bojangalees — 2 months ago