u/Bostonterrier_lover4

I feel as of lately the way I’ve been following the Bible is I been looking at the Old Testament and what lines up with a loving God and Jesus teachings but that doesn’t justify the stuff that that’s written in the Old Testament so I don’t know very confusing to me. Lately, I’ve been thinking about the Old Testament verses and stories in it, like Deuteronomy 22:20-21:
"If, however, the charge is true and no proof of the young woman’s virginity can be found, she shall be brought to the door of her father’s house and there the men of her town shall stone her to death. She has done an outrageous thing in Israel by being promiscuous while still in her father’s house. You must purge the evil from among you."

I’m a Christian, but I’m struggling with verses like this that completely go against what Jesus teaches. Yet, he does say he didn’t come to abolish the Old Testament. I see problems on both sides of things: Christians will defend these verses and find a way to justify them, but at the same time, maybe I’m just not looking at the context well enough?
I love following Christ. I love God with all my heart, but the Old Testament just doesn’t sit well with me. I feel lately, due to this, I’ve been a "Red Letter Christian." There’s just so much more, like Numbers 31:17-18:
"Now therefore, kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman who has known a man by sleeping with him. But all the young girls who have not known a man by sleeping with him, keep alive for yourselves."
Or Hosea 13:16:
"The people of Samaria must bear their guilt, because they have rebelled against their God. They will fall by the sword; their little ones will be dashed to the ground, their pregnant women ripped open."
I feel as of lately, the way I’ve been following the Bible is that I've been looking at the Old Testament and trying to see what aligns with a loving God and Jesus's teachings. But that doesn’t justify the stuff that’s written in the Old Testament, so I don’t know—it's very confusing to me.

I am a Christian and my whole life have been taught about Hell. I would say I feel a bit confused on this topic due to some things. Could it be that we take the verses about it too literally? How would we know what Hell is like. I just wanted to hear about what other people believe or think about it.

Hookup Culture: Some would say it commodifies intimacy and leaves people empty.
Purity Culture: argues it uses shame and rigid rules to control behavior.

Are both systems fundamentally flawed? Do they both miss the mark on healthy human connection? What do you guys think?

Hi everyone,

I’ve never posted here before and I’m feeling a bit nervous, but I’ve been carrying a lot of worry about this and wanted some advice.
I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost three years. I’m starting college this year, and he is going into his second year. I’m a Christian and I really want to live in a way that honours God. My boyfriend is a newer Christian, and I also want to support him in his faith journey.

However, we’ve struggled with boundaries and temptation in our relationship. We’ve also spent a lot of time alone together, including regular sleepovers since early on in our relationship. I feel conflicted about this as a Christian, even though I don’t think sleepovers alone are necessarily the main issue. The bigger issue seems to be being alone together for long periods of time.

It’s also not usually late at night or right before bed when we find things hardest—it tends to be during the day when we’re just alone together for extended periods of time.

We see each other often (at least five times a week), and he lives about 30 minutes away. His school is also near my home, so spending time together is already very easy and natural. Because of this, sleepovers have become a big part of our routine, and stopping them feels like it would be really emotionally difficult. I feel very attached to him, and I also struggle with change, so I know I would find it very hard not having him close at night. Being near him at night feels comforting and important to me emotionally.

At the same time, I also feel guilty and conflicted about whether this is something I should continue as a Christian. I want to honour God, but I also worry that changing our sleeping arrangements would be really inconvenient and disruptive to how our relationship currently works, especially since it’s been this way for so long and is tied into my routine with him and his family.

I know some people might suggest that we should just get married, but we both feel we are too young for that right now. It wouldn’t be a good decision financially, and we also know our families would not be supportive of that at this stage.

I’ve thought about alternatives, like trying to set stricter boundaries during the day (such as keeping doors open or limiting physical affection). We haven’t really tried these new boundaries yet, but we’re considering them. Even so, I still often feel anxious and unsure no matter what we do.

Right now I just feel stuck between wanting to grow in my faith and feeling very emotionally dependent on my relationship. I’m wondering if anyone has advice on how to handle boundaries in a situation like this, especially when a relationship is already very established and intertwined with daily life.

Also his family probably wouldn’t accept us getting married before we move in together, so that’s another problem. And I don’t think he would agree with it either, but I love him very much and I do see myself marrying him.😭

Hi everyone,

I’ve never posted here before and I’m feeling a bit nervous, but I’ve been carrying a lot of worry about this and wanted some advice.
I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost three years. I’m starting college this year, and he is going into his second year. I’m a Christian and I really want to live in a way that honours God. My boyfriend is a newer Christian, and I also want to support him in his faith journey.

However, we’ve struggled with boundaries and temptation in our relationship. We’ve also spent a lot of time alone together, including regular sleepovers since early on in our relationship. I feel conflicted about this as a Christian, even though I don’t think sleepovers alone are necessarily the main issue. The bigger issue seems to be being alone together for long periods of time.

It’s also not usually late at night or right before bed when we find things hardest—it tends to be during the day when we’re just alone together for extended periods of time.

We see each other often (at least five times a week), and he lives about 30 minutes away. His school is also near my home, so spending time together is already very easy and natural. Because of this, sleepovers have become a big part of our routine, and stopping them feels like it would be really emotionally difficult. I feel very attached to him, and I also struggle with change, so I know I would find it very hard not having him close at night. Being near him at night feels comforting and important to me emotionally.

At the same time, I also feel guilty and conflicted about whether this is something I should continue as a Christian. I want to honour God, but I also worry that changing our sleeping arrangements would be really inconvenient and disruptive to how our relationship currently works, especially since it’s been this way for so long and is tied into my routine with him and his family.

I know some people might suggest that we should just get married, but we both feel we are too young for that right now. It wouldn’t be a good decision financially, and we also know our families would not be supportive of that at this stage.

I’ve thought about alternatives, like trying to set stricter boundaries during the day (such as keeping doors open or limiting physical affection). We haven’t really tried these new boundaries yet, but we’re considering them. Even so, I still often feel anxious and unsure no matter what we do.

Right now I just feel stuck between wanting to grow in my faith and feeling very emotionally dependent on my relationship. I’m wondering if anyone has advice on how to handle boundaries in a situation like this, especially when a relationship is already very established and intertwined with daily life.

Also his family probably wouldn’t accept us getting married before we move in together, so that’s another problem. And I don’t think he would agree with it either, but I love him very much and I do see myself marrying him.😭

Hi everyone,

I’ve never posted here before and I’m feeling a bit nervous, but I’ve been carrying a lot of worry about this and wanted some advice.
I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost three years. I’m starting college this year, and he is going into his second year. I’m a Christian and I really want to live in a way that honours God. My boyfriend is a newer Christian, and I also want to support him in his faith journey.

However, we’ve struggled with boundaries and temptation in our relationship. We’ve also spent a lot of time alone together, including regular sleepovers since early on in our relationship. I feel conflicted about this as a Christian, even though I don’t think sleepovers alone are necessarily the main issue. The bigger issue seems to be being alone together for long periods of time.

It’s also not usually late at night or right before bed when we find things hardest—it tends to be during the day when we’re just alone together for extended periods of time.

We see each other often (at least five times a week), and he lives about 30 minutes away. His school is also near my home, so spending time together is already very easy and natural. Because of this, sleepovers have become a big part of our routine, and stopping them feels like it would be really emotionally difficult. I feel very attached to him, and I also struggle with change, so I know I would find it very hard not having him close at night. Being near him at night feels comforting and important to me emotionally.

At the same time, I also feel guilty and conflicted about whether this is something I should continue as a Christian. I want to honour God, but I also worry that changing our sleeping arrangements would be really inconvenient and disruptive to how our relationship currently works, especially since it’s been this way for so long and is tied into my routine with him and his family.

I know some people might suggest that we should just get married, but we both feel we are too young for that right now. It wouldn’t be a good decision financially, and we also know our families would not be supportive of that at this stage.

I’ve thought about alternatives, like trying to set stricter boundaries during the day (such as keeping doors open or limiting physical affection). We haven’t really tried these new boundaries yet, but we’re considering them. Even so, I still often feel anxious and unsure no matter what we do.

Right now I just feel stuck between wanting to grow in my faith and feeling very emotionally dependent on my relationship. I’m wondering if anyone has advice on how to handle boundaries in a situation like this, especially when a relationship is already very established and intertwined with daily life.

Also his family probably wouldn’t accept us getting married before we move in together, so that’s another problem. And I don’t think he would agree with it either, but I love him very much and I do see myself marrying him.😭