u/BothRub5122

we dated for 3 months, knew each other for 7, said i love you 6 months ago. but frankly i loved her for more like 2 years since i saw her. she said she found me attractive then too. she’s FA with childhood anxiety and a bad relationship with her dad. i was her first i love you ever.
she broke up with me saying she needed to work on herself. i begged for 3 days, made presentations, speeches. nothing worked. she said she’d made the decision months ago.
the last month has been the most confusing of my life. she met me after i left a rose, we spent 3 hours together like nothing happened. she was rewatching my stories. unsending messages. she wrote me the most beautiful 5 paragraph birthday message then unsent it before i could reply. i responded anyway.
then we started texting dryly. i sent something heartfelt on what would’ve been our 4 months. she said i was an amazing guy who deserved the best. left me on seen. today she said she doesn’t think it’s best for us to talk. it’s not easy she knows. but it only makes it harder.
and then i found out she removed me from her private and added a new guy who im pretty sure she’s talking to. she literally told me she wouldn’t do this because she never gives herself time to heal.
i know i’ve done enough. i can’t chase anymore. i know that. but somewhere in me i still believe this isn’t over. im going tk be seeing her soon because of prom.
i just needed to say this somewhere before i did something stupid. and if anyone’s been through something similar with an FA and found their way back to each other, i really need to hear that right now and what do I
do

My ex (18F) and I (18M) dated for 3 months but had been close for 7, said I love you 6 months in. She has diagnosed anxiety since childhood, a difficult relationship with her father, and a past experience of someone using her vulnerability against her. She identified as FA after I pointed it out and she did her own research and confirmed it.
The relationship was consistently warm and loving until near the end when I started sensing her pulling away and began asking if she still loved me, which I think triggered her avoidance. She broke up with me saying she needed to work on herself. The breakup night was the most vulnerable we’d ever been, we finally opened up about our family issues which were strikingly similar. She told me I was the first person she ever said I love you to.
Before me she had a pattern of 3 to 4 month talking stages that never converted into relationships plus one toxic relationship.
After the breakup I begged for 3 days. I made presentations and speeches trying to convince her but nothing worked. She told me she had come to this decision months ago. We eventually went no contact.
Since then there’s been a month of mixed signals. She met me after I left a rose and we spent 3 hours together that felt like we’d never broken up. She was liking my reposts and stories and rewatching them. After some time had passed she also unsent a “hey how are you” message to me.
I then decided to wish her 7 months from the day we started talking, something we did every month. This led to us talking dryly again and me asking if she would have said it if I hadn’t. She admitted she thought about it but didn’t think she should since I hadn’t replied to her previously. When I suggested meeting she said ending it was hard enough as it is. Instead of replying I just waited, and she ended up sending me a genuine heartfelt 5 paragraph birthday message. However she unsent it before I had a chance to reply, so I essentially responded to an unsent message. She had sent it while she could see I was reposting other stories and not replying to her, and unsent it when I still didn’t reply.
Two days later I wished her a safe flight and we started talking again dryly with a lot of ghosting back and forth. During this period I posted a targeted story for her and she replied to it but then unsent her reply too. I sent a small heartfelt paragraph on what would’ve been our 4 month anniversary and she responded with what felt like a goodbye, saying I was an amazing guy who deserved the best. She then left me on seen yesterday. Today she responded saying she doesn’t think it’s best for us to talk, that it’s not easy, and that it only makes it harder. Around the same time I found out she removed me from her private Instagram and added a new guy. What makes this harder is that she was probably already talking to him during the period we were dryly texting each other, which hurts deeply.
She had told me at the breakup that she wouldn’t jump into another talking stage because she never gives herself enough time to heal between people. I’m not angry, I’m just trying to understand her and what she’s going through. Is this classic FA avoidance using someone new as a distraction from real feelings? Or is she genuinely moving on? And if there’s any realistic chance, how do I actually get her back? I’m not ready to give up on this.

My ex (18F) and I (18M) dated for 3 months but had been close for 7, said I love you 6 months in. She has diagnosed anxiety since childhood, a difficult relationship with her father, and a past experience of someone using her vulnerability against her. She identified as FA after I pointed it out and she did her own research and confirmed it.
The relationship was consistently warm and loving until near the end when I started sensing her pulling away and began asking if she still loved me, which I think triggered her avoidance. She broke up with me saying she needed to work on herself. The breakup night was the most vulnerable we’d ever been, we finally opened up about our family issues which were strikingly similar. She told me I was the first person she ever said I love you to.
Before me she had a pattern of 3 to 4 month talking stages that never converted into relationships plus one toxic relationship.
After the breakup I begged for 3 days. I made presentations and speeches trying to convince her but nothing worked. She told me she had come to this decision months ago. We eventually went no contact.
Since then there’s been a month of mixed signals. She met me after I left a rose and we spent 3 hours together that felt like we’d never broken up. She was liking my reposts and stories and rewatching them. After some time had passed she also unsent a “hey how are you” message to me.
I then decided to wish her 7 months from the day we started talking, something we did every month. This led to us talking dryly again and me asking if she would have said it if I hadn’t. She admitted she thought about it but didn’t think she should since I hadn’t replied to her previously. When I suggested meeting she said ending it was hard enough as it is. Instead of replying I just waited, and she ended up sending me a genuine heartfelt 5 paragraph birthday message. However she unsent it before I had a chance to reply, so I essentially responded to an unsent message. She had sent it while she could see I was reposting other stories and not replying to her, and unsent it when I still didn’t reply.
Two days later I wished her a safe flight and we started talking again dryly with a lot of ghosting back and forth. During this period I posted a targeted story for her and she replied to it but then unsent her reply too. I sent a small heartfelt paragraph on what would’ve been our 4 month anniversary and she responded with what felt like a goodbye, saying I was an amazing guy who deserved the best. She then left me on seen yesterday. Today she responded saying she doesn’t think it’s best for us to talk, that it’s not easy, and that it only makes it harder. Around the same time I found out she removed me from her private Instagram and added a new guy. What makes this harder is that she was probably already talking to him during the period we were dryly texting each other, which hurts deeply.
She had told me at the breakup that she wouldn’t jump into another talking stage because she never gives herself enough time to heal between people. I’m not angry, I’m just trying to understand her and what she’s going through. Is this classic FA avoidance using someone new as a distraction from real feelings? Or is she genuinely moving on? And if there’s any realistic chance, how do I actually get her back? I’m not ready to give up on this.

My ex (18F) and I (18M) dated for 3 months but had been close for 7, said I love you 6 months in. She has diagnosed anxiety since childhood, a bad relationship with her father, and a past experience of someone using her vulnerability against her. She identified as FA after I pointed it out and she researched it herself.
The relationship was consistently amazing until the end when I started sensing her pulling away and asked if she still loved me which I think triggered her avoidance. She broke up with me saying she needed to work on herself. The breakup night was the most vulnerable we’d ever been, we finally opened up about our family issues which were strikingly similar. She told me I was the first person she ever said I love you to.
Before me she had a pattern of 3-4 month talking stages that never converted into relationships plus one toxic relationship.
Since the breakup there’s been a month of mixed signals. She met me after I left a rose and we spent 3 hours together that felt like we’d never broken up. She was liking my reposts and stories and rewatching them too. When I suggested meeting she said “ending it was hard enough as it is.”
For the past 4 days we’ve been texting dryly. I sent a small heartfelt paragraph on what would’ve been our 4 month anniversary and she responded coldly with “you’re an amazing guy and you deserve the best” which felt like a goodbye. She then left me on seen yesterday. Today she responded saying she doesn’t think it’s best for us to talk, it’s not easy she knows, but it only makes it harder. Around the same time I found out through a friend of a friend that she removed me from her private Instagram and added a new guy on both his main and private account.
She had explicitly told me at the breakup she wouldn’t jump into another talking stage because she never gives herself time to heal. I just want clarity. Is this classic FA avoidance using someone new as a distraction, or is she genuinely moving on? Is there any realistic chance she comes back?​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ How do I get her back?