What I mean is like I think every person has atleast thought about killing themselves atleast once? Or am I wrong because it’s hard for me to imagine someone who hasn’t thought about dying at least once
I feel so upset right now and I’ve been feeling this way for years every night during the evening or midnight I get a wave of sadness just randomly I feel empty, i don’t know if it’s depression or just hormones as I’m 13 so it could be hormones but i always cry every night, it’s become a normal thing for me just crying every night, even for no reason at all I just become so sad out of thin air, like now I was on my phone listening to my music (not even sad music btw just normal pop songs) then all of a sudden I became so sad I feel so empty but I also feel like I have no emotions at the same time and then I just started crying, out of nowhere I broke down, I’ve started getting sick of this feeling and I don’t know what to do anymore during the day I’ll be fine, I’ll be happy and energetic and laughing, then I get home I’m still happy and having a good time then it gets to noon and all of a sudden I just break down and start crying and feeling sad and broken I hate this feeling and I wish it would go away but I don’t know how to make it stop over then obvious permanent ways (😵😵) which I would never want to do to my family and friends but last year around this time I got so close to it and I tried doing something bad and i genuinely was extremely close to 😵 i obviously don’t wanna say details but those were the worse years of my life and I never wanted to experience that again but the feeling has started getting worse and worse by the day and I just don’t know what to really do anymore
I can’t stop being sad even if I had a amazing day I can’t stop being sad, I had the best day of my life and I’m still so sad why do I feel this way and how do I make it stop, I have amazing friends and hobbies, I go on walks, my family is so amazing to me, I don’t get bullied, people don’t tease me, I’m not insecure but I’m still so sad all the time and it won’t go away why do I feel like this
(Sorry my bad spelling btw I’m starting to forget how to even spell correctly) Anyways I’m 13 and I’m starting to forget everything like right now I’m reading then I’ll look up and look back at my book and then I’m forget what page I’m even on and I’ll read the sentences and be like “when did I even read this bit” also I’m forgetting everything I did like I can’t even remember what I did yesterday or the day before that, could it be caused by vaping and drinking? Because I’ve been vaping non stop for about 2 years and I started drinking again after 5 months of being sober but yeah is that the reason for some of my meomry loss or is it just because I’m growing up and like it’s just hormoenes
I turned 13 last month and for 3 years straight I’ve been so depressed on and off, like what I mean is for a whole month I’ll be so depressed then it’ll go away for maybe another month or two then come back stronger, and last year was the worst year of my life right after my 12th birthday I tried to commit multiple times with p!lls which obviously failed so I got to the point where I h@nged myself and I failed and had the worse headache of my life for 12 hours straight and I don’t remember much after that day but that I know that was during may, and the entire of summer I was all alone and never left my bedroom once because all my friends left me and I got put into therapy which did not work AT ALL just made me worse and more anxious, and I turned to drinking and drugs, I haven’t drunk in 5 months but now I’m slowly coming back to drinking every week and I’ve been slowly getting more depressed and depressed to the point where I’ve even considered ending it again, but currently im only staying for my family because I would never want to do that to them but it’s starting to get really really bad again and I don’t know how much longer I can take it, does anyone know any tips that will make me happier pls.