Unhexing, can you teach me?
Hi guys, I hope all is well. I feel very vulnerable talking about this but i need help. My life since I have know it has been really messed. Things happen to me on their own, anytime i take a step forward it turns into 10 steps back. It started out as child when when I was about 10 or so and continue on well into my 20s. Now I am 32 and I am catching on something is not right. I have tried mindfulness, intention-setting, and focusing on the positive but the compounded effect of these activities have made things worse. Sometimes the negativity feels so heavy that I would do anything to leave my body and mind. As a results, I have lost relationships, careers, money, and now I am at the lowest I have been. In the past when I have gotten readings people have said I have been cursed. I am African but came to the US as a child and mostly ignored this. Though different practitioner have said it from various tradition. Now that things have gotten worse in a ways that makes no sense I am starting to see through it clearly. The curse extends to my family but it is mainly connected to me. I don't have a lot of money and I dont trust anyone I have gone to because in the past i have been duped into thinking things were solved when they have not. What I know also is this, whatever is against me when I fight it it comes back stronger and harder and I feel physically under attacked. Like I said, I try to clear my mind, be active, eat well, work on myself but things don't change they get worse and anytime I have a remote sign of a shift or opening the atmosphere around me starts to feel constricted, dense, and choking. I grew up in a lot of trauma but I am realizing that was just the vehicle for it, but not the real thing because the trauma work and therapy i have done over the years have made things worse. I realize I need to learn how to protect myself and work spell. It scares me. I don't want to do it and every time i get close to this something tells me to be scared. But watching everything i work hard for break or turn to sand is becoming harder and harder. I am realizing that's the key. Accepting what I have been told and been experiencing and using the tools I need to work it, because if not I wont live to see the end of my 30s and that is scary thoughts. Can someone kindly teach me? All the thanks!