u/BringMeBackATshirt

A majority of the time it is shown that there is a forward movement bias in dreams, lucid dream, out of body experiences and near death experiences. Sometimes you feel guided that way, sometimes it feels like that's the only option. There are cases where some people feel like a 360 awareness but I'm not sure they actually have a visual representation of 360 degrees, I could be wrong but also this is uncommon. What I have found is very uncommon is when people actually force themselves to look to see what's behind them. Out of all my experiences, I have only looked behind myself once and nothing was there, it was just blackness.

Commonly in the rare chance people look behind themselves, they see nothing or the experience begins to break. This is similar to video game logic where the area that is not visible is not rendered in any way, to save on compute and power to improve overall performance.

One time before going to bed I asked the question, "Is the tunnel of light a manufactured experience?" I went to sleep and began having an OBE. I was moving through a tunnel of light when it started to change into a what looked like a very old large sewer system with water running down the middle. I was passing various crates and barrels in the water until I reached the end which turned into a massive pirate cove. There were many wooden buildings making like a small city and there were pirates in a big circle with a pirate captain in the middle. I began to fight the pirate captain and then I woke up.

After waking I began to interpret this is the best way I could. I remember going to disney world many times in my youth and my favorite rides were always peter pan and pirates of the caribbean. The way they crafted these experiences were so comforting, everything from the smells, to the atmosphere, to the visuals, it was all amazing. This is the only relation I could come up with that this experience was crafted to produce comfort.

Do I really know what the author intended in any of my experiences? No, how could I really know? I refuse to put belief in something I cannot prove. For anyone who sees a religious figure or what they think is a god, how could you really know what the author meant by showing that? Even the OBE's that feel more real than this physical reality, how much faith are you going to put into thinking that that is base reality? I can't prove it just like I can't prove anything else, even to myself.

There is an extremely big problem with the medical system as it does not incorporate the process and conditions that may happen after recovering from major depression, extreme trauma, psychosis, even when a person has clinically died and possibly others that have had similar experiences. There is no official book or manual to go to that discusses the possible large changes in beliefs, identity and perception from this. Often people start clinging to spirituality because that is one of the only things that offers answers close to what they experienced, I find this as not a good solution as people trade one belief system for another. There are some therapies that go over certain elements of this but they are not mainstream, they are hard to find.

I do not want to alarm anyone but be aware that the system is not setup for this stage of progression. You may be misunderstood or even misdiagnosed when trying to explain that you have recovered but are experiencing something else that is not normally talked about.

The medical world revolves around suffering and how to deal with it. What they don't prepare you for is when you have a major psychological shift after overcoming great suffering whether it be a major depression, extreme trauma or when you clinically died and had an experience. Therapists and Psychiatrists don't seem to be trained on really spotting these changes and what often results from this is being misunderstood or even misdiagnosed just to be pushed towards even more medication. Through my own experience and through research I have noticed it can take many years, for me 6 years and is ever-evolving, even decades for people to come to an understanding of what actually happened in overcoming their suffering and what actually happened during their life's journey. I was on medication relating to depression for the last 6 years even though I had overcome major depression 6 years ago, showing the fallacy of the system.

Now I still experience the Negative Symptoms of the Schizophrenia Spectrum but now since the psychological shift, the shift is misunderstood as symptoms of either depression or negative symptoms. Simply because I no longer desire or need most of the things normal people do I am somehow seen as wrong. For instance I used to run ambient music on spotify 24/7 to fill the emptiness but then something changed where I just started to see the music as noise, I suddenly realized I didn't need that distraction anymore and I am fine without any music. People are required to be constantly entertained these days and feel like they need to be happy all the time but I don't see it that way. I don't do anything and I'm not bored. I no longer require a constant dopamine drip of video games or entertainment. I don't even look at food the same way anymore, it used to be one of my favorite things but now I no longer feel the draw towards it. I used to use sleep as an escape and it was comfortable, now I hate having to go to bed, I'd rather be awake. I really dislike youtube and I grow tired of the same stories on the TV.

With a big psychological shift often comes a change in how we perceive things, we no longer look at things the same and the system is not setup to relate with this. I'm assuming for people that are capable they can return to like a job or hobby but I cannot. I am stuck in a spot where I still can't function in society because of negative symptoms and lasting side effects of medication but I have this different way of looking at things in which I don't know what to do with either. It's completely messed up and there is no where to go to talk about this.

EDIT: I don't want anyone to feel worse or anything by me saying what I said, I'm just bringing up a real issue that is out there. I know many of you are going through depression and have yet to come out the other side. I just want to warn you of a possible problem that is waiting for you when you do make it.

Enlightenment and Ascension are bad words because they imply a kind of superiority or rising above everyone else when in-fact awakening does not make you better than anyone but rather only changes how you see things. This shift in perspective does not change this physical reality, you still have to navigate societies systems. You may go about seeing these systems differently but it doesn't change that you have to operate within them still. You are not above these systems in any way and these systems can still hurt you.

People try to make you think that because you have an awakening that somehow everything changes but it doesn't, it is only your perception that has changed. You still have a life to live regardless of that perception.