I (F36) love my son (M19) but the past 2 years he’s been in a destructive cycle. He started seeing this girl for a short period of time in mid 2024, she seemed like a good partner at first but slowly began to treat him awfully.
At first it was small things. she broke up with him and implied she had cheated on him during the relationship just to beg for him back then break up with him and do that in a cycle for around 6 months. Sometimes he would come home visibly upset and we would have long conversations where I tried to show him it wasn’t worth it. I can’t exactly forbid him from seeing her but it upsets me to see him like that. I had a lot of empathy for him at first, at his age I also had a shitty boyfriend eventually I left him and hoped my son would do the same.
At the start of 2025 he told me he cut her off.
A month later I found out she had been constantly calling him, called his job, would message and call him off fake accounts.
They got back together but he only told me after they had broken up again, which frustrated me, he’s smart he should know that he’s worth more than that. But I tried to support him post breakup.
A month or two later I find out he’s seeing a different girl(F21) me and my husband (M40) were relieved.
Him and the girl had been officially dating for a couple months and she was really sweet. I was happy for him as he’s usually unlucky in love. Things looked very good for him before I noticed a change in his behaviour. He’s usually quite open with me so I was worried. I found out him and his partner broke up and he was acting strange about the reason why so I didn’t push.
The rest of the year was fine he was doing good, he was in uni and working a job, I was proud of him and I still am. Lo and behold last month in April he told me the real reason his gf broke up with him was because his ex had created a fake tinder for him. Screenshots of the tinder made it to the gf and she left him, he knows it was the ex because she confessed it when he confronted her.
Two weeks ago he said he was going out to see a friend so I drove him to the shops, he seemed sort of dodgy but I didn’t push cause I didn’t think I had reason to. I was waiting in the car when I saw him with his ex.
When he got home we exchanged words, I was maybe a little more harsh than I should have been and later my husband scolded me for being mean when he thinks I should try and support him. I’m at my wits end there’s nothing more I can do at this point I think they deserve each other.
TL;DR my son is in an abusive relationship and won’t leave her despite having ample opportunities and I no longer care.