u/BrynnaSkye

I was having a good day,

Living right now.

The demons of the past were satisfied

With scraps of my soul

Left sitting on the front porch.

The demons of the future

Were sleeping

In their cages in the garage.

I kept my smile quiet

So they wouldn't wake.

But all it took

Was one dropped book

To rattle their cages

And prick their ears.

They focused their attention

On the sounds of weakness

And the snarling began.

They stalked around the house

And slipped through the doors,

Their claws clicking on the hardwood.

There is no place to hide,

And I don't have the energy

To outrun them.

So I stand in the living room,

Resigned to my fate.

I am familiar now

With their teeth and claws.

There is no other choice

Than to accept the pain,

And hope it will be quick.

That maybe they are full

From their last meal,

Shreds of my soul

Still sitting in their gullets.

They know they can't actually kill me,

So they take what they can get,

Leaving me bloody on the floor.

Licking their chops

And sauntering away,

Victorious and smug.

We all know who's in charge here.

Sometimes I don't get up

For a long while.

I lay there and stare blankly,

Because I'm not sure

Where to go from here,

And I'm just so tired.

Friends come to help,

Bringing bandages and broth,

But I snap at them to go away.

I don't want to need them.

And maybe the demons

Have taught me how to bite.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1t501p2/comment/olktsuo/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1swctp2/comment/olkiyi3/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

“I can’t remember Dad’s face,”
Says Big,
Staring blankly up the stairs.
“My tummy hurts, can I stay
Home from school?”
Asks Little,
Squeezing his body into
A tight ball.
“I need bandaids for my fingers,”
Says Middle,
Showing me his bloody nubs.
And I know I am not enough
To fill the well of their need,
To counter their sadness
With love.
I am empty myself.
“How’s it going at home?”
He asks.
“This won’t actually kill me,”
I say.

I don’t know what to tell you.
The biggest part about my day
Was the fact that you weren’t in it.

You are here now.
I can see you
Smell you
Taste you
But if I look too closely
I can see that
You’ve blurred around the edges.
I reach to touch you
And I’m surprised
To find you real.
I expect my hand
To pass right through.

My heart knows
That you are already gone.
I see your Absence
Moving through my day,
Like a shadow
Walking behind you,
Closing in.
And when I look too closely,
Your Absence grabs me
By the throat,
Chokes the air from my lungs.
My vocal chords seize,
My mind goes blank.

And then you kiss me,
Tell me you’re still here.
“We have one more night,
My love, don’t cry.”
But your Absence
Won’t let me speak,
Won’t let me think,
Won’t let me breathe.

I want you to win.
I want the soft space
Under your ear,
Warm and smelling like home.
But your Absence is there too,
Quietly turning my safe places
Into emptiness.

And like a shadow,
When you are truly gone,
So is your Absence.
I’ll catch a glimpse
At times,
But he mostly leaves me be.
He’s already completed his task.
There is no air left to steal,
I live in the emptiness now.

Your Absence visited me today.
Sat next to me on the couch,
Told me that it’s ok,
To sit down,
To be quiet,
That I’m not actually alone.
Is the warmth I feel
Radiating from him
A memory?
What a funny thing,
That a memory can have a temperature.
But the warmth of your Absence
Doesn’t work.
It doesn’t give,
It only takes.
It doesn’t soothe my soul
After a long day.
It only makes my eyes prickle
With tears.
I just want to sit with you
On the couch.
And your Absence is a poor f*cking substitute.

I’ve been climbing my mountain
And you’ve been climbing yours
Sweating
Bleeding
Hanging on by our fingertips

But we found each other
Briefly
A small alcove
Where we built a fire
And forgot our climb
Bandaged each others wounds
Filled our bellies
Repaired our souls

We know it’s just a moment
We know the climb is waiting
But that makes the moment
Brighter
Warmer
Sweeter
So we savor it
And when it’s over
When we haul ourselves
Back into the climb
We can keep that moment
Tucked into our pockets

So next time we find ourselves
Loosing our footing
Picking the wrong rock to grab
Feeling that terror
We can pull out this moment
And hold it close
Let’s it’s warmth
Restore us
Guide us
To the next solid ledge

“I can’t remember Dad’s face,”
Says Big,
Staring blankly up the stairs.
“My tummy hurts, can I stay
Home from school?”
Asks Little,
Squeezing his body into
A tight ball.
“I need bandaids for my fingers,”
Says Middle,
Showing me his bloody nubs.
And I know I am not enough
To fill the well of their need,
To counter their sadness
With love.
I am empty myself.
“How’s it going at home?”
He asks.
“This won’t actually kill me,”
I say.