First year newbie so please spare my dumbass and naiveness 💔
Ironically my Spotify 3 month free premium ended a couple weeks ago so obviously I was convinced that this email was legit asf. I was literally jumping for joy in the morning after receiving this too ✌🏽
Anyway, if you receive this too don’t fall for it 🥀🥀
[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]
It’s all going to go down from here ughhhhhh. I keep trying because maybe things will get better but right now things are bleak. Aaaaaaaaa please end my life I beg you. I’m having a mental breakdown I’m going to die
Chest pain and headache after taking 1,700 mg of caffeine (mix of caffeine pills and monster energy drinks). I’m feeling nauseous, dizzy, and can barely walk. My heart rate has ranged from 49 to 175 bpm. Last BP 150/90. Is there any way to get the caffeine out of my system as quickly as possible? 22 nonbinary Canada
Scheduled to open on July 23rd
Basically the title. Anyone know if the exam or final grades ever get curved??
Dear god, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE tell me they do. I am BEGGING, PLEADING, ON MY KNEES, SOBBING, PRAYING, BARGAINING, NEGOTIATING WITH THE UNIVERSE, PRAYING TO EVERY STATISTICAL DEITY THAT HAS EVER EXISTED
I am PANICKING. Fml fml fml fml fml fml fml fml fml. We need a miracle, we need divine intervention, we need the stars to align, we need the heavens to OPEN. I need the null hypothesis to PERSONALLY DESCEND FROM THE SKY AND SAVE THIS CLASS AND MY ASS (excuse my french). I need my F to be critical because I am ALSO CRITICAL!!!!
At this point, the only significant effect is the effect this midterm exam has had on my sanity
PLEASE tell me there is a curve, ANY CURVE. I am no longer asking for much. Bell curve, grade curve, learning curve, curveball, semicircle, an arch, a slightly bent line. I DON’T CARE, PLEASE JUST BEND SOMETHING IN THE GENERAL DIRECTION OF OUR GRADES. I DON’T THINK THE MIDTERM REWIEGH WILL SAVE US
MARCO PLEASE. REMEMBER THE EASTER EGGS. THINK ABOUT THE EASTER EGGS. YOU TAUGHT US ABOUT STATISTICAL POWER, YOU PREPARED US FOR THIS EXACT MOMENT. THIS IS YOUR MOMENT, THIS IS WHAT ALL OF THIS COURSE HAS BEEN LEADING UP TO
PLEASE go back through those exam booklets like you’re searching for easter eggs. FLIP EVERY PAGE, CHECK EVERY QUESTION, CHECK THE MARGINS, CHECK BETWEEN THE PAGES, HOLD THE BOOKLETS UP TO THE LIGHT, SHAKE THEM, TURN THEM UPSIDE DOWN. MAYBE THE CURVE WILL FALL OUT, MAYBE IT’S STUCK IN THE STAPLES. I DON’T KNOW, PLEASE JUST KEEP LOOKING
PLEASE ALMIGHTY MARCO. YOU HAVE THE POWER, WE KNOW YOU HAVE THE POWER.
YOUR DAUGHTER MAY NOT HAVE ENOUGH STATISTICAL POWER TO DETECT THE CLOTHES SITTING DIRECTLY ON HER BED BUT YOU DO
YOU CAN FIND THEM
YOU CAN FIND THE EASTER EGGS
YOU CAN FIND THE CURVE
THE EFFECT IS THERE
WE BELIEVE IN YOU
PLEASE DETECT IT
INCREASE YOUR POWER
LOOK HARDER
THE EASTER EGG IS IN THERE
THE EASTER EGG IS THE CURVE
PLEASE
Maybe the curve is small THAT’S OKAY. WE LOVE SMALL EFFECTS. Maybe it’s hiding, maybe it’s shy. Maybe it’s sitting DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF YOU ON THE BED AND FOR SOME REASON NOBODY CAN FIND IT
BUT YOU ARE NOT YOUR DAUGHTER
YOU HAVE HIGHER STATISTICAL POWER
YOU CAN DETECT THIS
PLEASE MARCO
USE YOUR POWER
PLEASE DO NOT COMMIT A TYPE 2 ERROR AND FAIL TO DETECT THE CURVE THAT COULD SAVE THIS ENTIRE CLASS
CHECK BOOKLET 1
CHECK BOOKLET 2
CHECK ALL THE BOOKLETS
CHECK PAGE 1
CHECK PAGE 2
CHECK THE BACK PAGE
CHECK UNDER OUR ANSWERS
WAIT, NO
DO NOT CHECK UNDER OUR ANSWERS
ACTUALLY PLEASE STOP LOOKING AT THE ANSWERS
ABORT
ABORT THE MISSION
LOOK AWAY FROM THE ANSWERS
CLOSE THE BOOKLET
WAIT NO WE STILL NEED THE CURVE
OPEN IT AGAIN
BUT DON’T READ ANYTHING
JUST FIND THE EASTER EGG
OH GOD
MARCO PLEASE HAVE MERCY ON US. WE HAVE DREAMS, WE HAVE PLANS, WE HAVE GPAs. REMEMBER OUR GPAs????? WE REMEMBER OUR GPAs. THEY WERE BEAUTIFUL, THEY WERE YOUNG, THEY HAD THEIR WHOLE LIVES AHEAD OF THEM
PLEASE, FAIL TO REJECT OUR ACADEMIC CAREERS
WE ARE BEGGING
MARCO PLEASE FIND THE EASTER EGG
🥚
WAIT
WHAT’S THAT???
IS THAT
OH MY GOD
A CURVE????????
📈
YOU FOUND IT
YOU ACTUALLY FOUND IT
THE POWER WAS SUFFICIENT
THE EFFECT HAS BEEN DETECTED
PLEASE APPLY IT TO THE ENTIRE CLASS
PLEASE
PLEASE
PLEASE
😭🙏😩AAAAAAAA🙏😭😩🙏AAAAAAAA🙏😩🙏😭😭AAAAAaaaaAAAA😭😭😭AAAAAAAAAA!!!!AAAAAAAAAA!!!AAAAAAAAAAAAaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!AAAAAA!!!!!!!! PLEASE DEAR ALMIGHTY MARCOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now the prof is pursuing academic integrity cases and has reweighted the course so the final is worth even more. Uggghhhh, the final was already worth a huge chunk of the grade 😭😭😭 like why are you even in university if you’re just going to get AI to do your assignments/quizzes for you? you’re not only risking your own education, you’re also making things harder for the rest of us. Now everyone gets stuck with a higher-stakes final because some people couldn’t be bothered to do their own work. Sorry for ranting I’m just frustrated
I’m just curious whether the university notifies the prof or if the prof just assumes the student ghosted the course and gives them a failing grade? Do students who pass away get a final grade or does the course get removed from their transcript?
That bonus from Keith was clutch. How’d everyone end up doing?