u/BudgetReasonable586

It all started in 2020 where i met a girl(lets call her Eve) in my game lobby and we added each other and talked every single day and night. She was my best friend and i liked everything about her, it almost felt like she was a soulmate of mine.

Then 2023 hit and i got a girlfriend for the summer. We lasted together for 5months and during those 5months i didnt talk to Eve entirely.. i felt really bad because i blocked her even tho she was my best friend for 3years and we never disagreed with each other.after my first relationship, I added her back to aplogize and somehow she accepted my apology.

After my relation ship, we were friends again and i was happier than ever, then i had another relation ship a year later (it lasted only 3months),which also lead to me blocking Eve. When my second relation ship was over i added her back to apologise to her, and i really felt like a scumbag, i really wanted to be a better friend for her and not someone who chases girls and un adds her everytime i find someone.

Then it happened again 2years later.. i felt so guilty that i had to block her, i felt so bad that i didnt want to do it, but i still blocked her anyway. This relationship lasted a year and a few months, i added her back recently and i apologised for my actions once again, but this time she wasnt alone, she had someone else. Right now she is with him for exatcly 1 year and 3 months

I feel so stupid for all the things i did to her, she totatly didnt deserve them, im an awful friend. She has been there for me every single time, she has done so much for me and we made promised to meet each other some day. She even said i looked nice a few times, she helped me with all the girls that i liked, she was like a friend for me that i didnt deserve.

But why do i feel some sort of attraction to her.? lt feels wrong to see her happy with someone else, i mean he isnt even from our country, he isnt even from our continet, and yet she chose him. I understand that i did all of those horrible things, but why do i feel so sad that she finally has someone in her life special. Its this weird feeling that i cannot explain, but she is flying out to him probably for good this summer, in early june and right now its the end of may. I wish i didnt pick all of those girls instead of her, i wish i wasnt the way i am, i wish i had done things diffrently.

I feel the urge to do bad things to myself just because i lost someone so special to me. Im a shitty person, i should have picked her all of this time, i should have done things diffrently and i wish i could return back in time and do them right.

I do not know what to do now because i have what it feels like a huge rock on my heart sinking it deeper and deeper every time.

TL;DR: I’m dealing with intense regret after realizing I have feelings for my best friend, but she is moving across the world to be with someone else this summer. I am struggling with immense guilt and don't know how to cope.

It all started in 2020 where i met a girl(lets call her Eve) in my game lobby and we added each other and talked every single day and night. She was my best friend and i liked everything about her, it almost felt like she was a soulmate of mine.

Then 2023 hit and i got a girlfriend for the summer. We lasted together for 5months and during those 5months i didnt talk to Eve entirely.. i felt really bad because i blocked her even tho she was my best friend for 3years and we never disagreed with each other.after my first relationship, I added her back to aplogize and somehow she accepted my apology.

After my relation ship, we were friends again and i was happier than ever, then i had another relation ship a year later (it lasted only 3months),which also lead to me blocking Eve. When my second relation ship was over i added her back to apologise to her, and i really felt like a scumbag, i really wanted to be a better friend for her and not someone who chases girls and un adds her everytime i find someone.

Then it happened again 2years later.. i felt so guilty that i had to block her, i felt so bad that i didnt want to do it, but i still blocked her anyway. This relationship lasted a year and a few months, i added her back recently and i apologised for my actions once again, but this time she wasnt alone, she had someone else. Right now she is with him for exatcly 1 year and 3 months

I feel so stupid for all the things i did to her, she totatly didnt deserve them, im an awful friend. She has been there for me every single time, she has done so much for me and we made promised to meet each other some day. She even said i looked nice a few times, she helped me with all the girls that i liked, she was like a friend for me that i didnt deserve.

But why do i feel some sort of attraction to her.? lt feels wrong to see her happy with someone else, i mean he isnt even from our country, he isnt even from our continet, and yet she chose him. I understand that i did all of those horrible things, but why do i feel so sad that she finally has someone in her life special. Its this weird feeling that i cannot explain, but she is flying out to him probably for good this summer, in early june and right now its the end of may. I wish i didnt pick all of those girls instead of her, i wish i wasnt the way i am, i wish i had done things diffrently.

I feel the urge to do bad things to myself just because i lost someone so special to me. Im a shitty person, i should have picked her all of this time, i should have done things diffrently and i wish i could return back in time and do them right.

I do not know what to do now because i have what it feels like a huge rock on my heart sinking ir deeper and deeper every time.

TL;DR: I’m dealing with intense regret after realizing I have feelings for my best friend, but she is moving across the world to be with someone else this summer. I am struggling with immense guilt and don't know how to cope.

It all started in 2020 where i met a girl(lets call her Eve) in my game lobby and we added each other and talked every single day and night. She was my best friend and i liked everything about her, it almost felt like she was a soulmate of mine.

Then 2023 hit and i got a girlfriend for the summer. We lasted together for 5months and during those 5months i didnt talk to Eve entirely.. i felt really bad because i blocked her even tho she was my best friend for 3years and we never disagreed with each other.after my first relationship, I added her back to aplogize and somehow she accepted my apology.

After my relation ship, we were friends again and i was happier than ever, then i had another relation ship a year later (it lasted only 3months),which also lead to me blocking Eve. When my second relation ship was over i added her back to apologise to her, and i really felt like a scumbag, i really wanted to be a better friend for her and not someone who chases girls and un adds her everytime i find someone.

Then it happened again 2years later.. i felt so guilty that i had to block her, i felt so bad that i didnt want to do it, but i still blocked her anyway. This relationship lasted a year and a few months, i added her back recently and i apologised for my actions once again, but this time she wasnt alone, she had someone else. Right now she is with him for exatcly 1 year and 3 months

I feel so stupid for all the things i did to her, she totatly didnt deserve them, im an awful friend. She has been there for me every single time, she has done so much for me and we made promised to meet each other some day. She even said i looked nice a few times, she helped me with all the girls that i liked, she was like a friend for me that i didnt deserve.

But why do i feel some sort of attraction to her.? lt feels wrong to see her happy with someone else, i mean he isnt even from our country, he isnt even from our continet, and yet she chose him. I understand that i did all of those horrible things, but why do i feel so sad that she finally has someone in her life special. Its this weird feeling that i cannot explain, but she is flying out to him probably for good this summer, in early june and right now its the end of may. I wish i didnt pick all of those girls instead of her, i wish i wasnt the way i am, i wish i had done things diffrently.

I feel the urge to do bad things to myself just because i lost someone so special to me. Im a shitty person, i should have picked her all of this time, i should have done things diffrently and i wish i could return back in time and do them right.

I do not know what to do now because i have what it feels like a huge rock on my heart sinking ir deeper and deeper every time.

TL;DR: I’m dealing with intense regret after realizing I have feelings for my best friend, but she is moving across the world to be with someone else this summer. I am struggling with immense guilt and don't know how to cope.

It all started in 2020 where i met a girl(lets call her Eve) in my game lobby and we added each other and talked every single day and night. She was my best friend and i liked everything about her, it almost felt like she was a soulmate of mine.

Then 2023 hit and i got a girlfriend for the summer. We lasted together for 5months and during those 5months i didnt talk to Eve entirely.. i felt really bad because i blocked her even tho she was my best friend for 3years and we never disagreed with each other.after my first relationship, I added her back to aplogize and somehow she accepted my apology.

After my relation ship, we were friends again and i was happier than ever, then i had another relation ship a year later (it lasted only 3months),which also lead to me blocking Eve. When my second relation ship was over i added her back to apologise to her, and i really felt like a scumbag, i really wanted to be a better friend for her and not someone who chases girls and un adds her everytime i find someone.

Then it happened again 2years later.. i felt so guilty that i had to block her, i felt so bad that i didnt want to do it, but i still blocked her anyway. This relationship lasted a year and a few months, i added her back recently and i apologised for my actions once again, but this time she wasnt alone, she had someone else. Right now she is with him for exatcly 1 year and 3 months

I feel so stupid for all the things i did to her, she totatly didnt deserve them, im an awful friend. She has been there for me every single time, she has done so much for me and we made promised to meet each other some day. She even said i looked nice a few times, she helped me with all the girls that i liked, she was like a friend for me that i didnt deserve.

But why do i feel some sort of attraction to her.? lt feels wrong to see her happy with someone else, i mean he isnt even from our country, he isnt even from our continet, and yet she chose him. I understand that i did all of those horrible things, but why do i feel so sad that she finally has someone in her life special. Its this weird feeling that i cannot explain, but she is flying out to him probably for good this summer, in early june and right now its the end of may. I wish i didnt pick all of those girls instead of her, i wish i wasnt the way i am, i wish i had done things diffrently.

I feel the urge to do bad things to myself just because i lost someone so special to me. Im a shitty person, i should have picked her all of this time, i should have done things diffrently and i wish i could return back in time and do them right.

I do not know what to do now because i have what it feels like a huge rock on my heart sinking ir deeper and deeper every time.

TL;DR: I’m dealing with intense regret after realizing I have feelings for my best friend, but she is moving across the world to be with someone else this summer. I am struggling with immense guilt and don't know how to cope.

It all started in 2020 where i met a girl(lets call her Eve) in my game lobby and we added each other and talked every single day and night. She was my best friend and i liked everything about her, it almost felt like she was a soulmate of mine.

Then 2023 hit and i got a girlfriend for the summer. We lasted together for 5months and during those 5months i didnt talk to Eve entirely.. i felt really bad because i blocked her even tho she was my best friend for 3years and we never disagreed with each other.after my first relationship, I added her back to aplogize and somehow she accepted my apology.

After my relation ship, we were friends again and i was happier than ever, then i had another relation ship a year later (it lasted only 3months),which also lead to me blocking Eve. When my second relation ship was over i added her back to apologise to her, and i really felt like a scumbag, i really wanted to be a better friend for her and not someone who chases girls and un adds her everytime i find someone.

Then it happened again 2years later.. i felt so guilty that i had to block her, i felt so bad that i didnt want to do it, but i still blocked her anyway. This relationship lasted a year and a few months, i added her back recently and i apologised for my actions once again, but this time she wasnt alone, she had someone else. Right now she is with him for exatcly 1 year and 3 months

I feel so stupid for all the things i did to her, she totatly didnt deserve them, im an awful friend. She has been there for me every single time, she has done so much for me and we made promised to meet each other some day. She even said i looked nice a few times, she helped me with all the girls that i liked, she was like a friend for me that i didnt deserve.

But why do i feel some sort of attraction to her.? lt feels wrong to see her happy with someone else, i mean he isnt even from our country, he isnt even from our continet, and yet she chose him. I understand that i did all of those horrible things, but why do i feel so sad that she finally has someone in her life special. Its this weird feeling that i cannot explain, but she is flying out to him probably for good this summer, in early june and right now its the end of may. I wish i didnt pick all of those girls instead of her, i wish i wasnt the way i am, i wish i had done things diffrently.

I feel the urge to do bad things to myself just because i lost someone so special to me. Im a shitty person, i should have picked her all of this time, i should have done things diffrently and i wish i could return back in time and do them right.

I do not know what to do now because i have what it feels like a huge rock on my heart sinking ir deeper and deeper every time.

TL;DR: I’m dealing with intense regret after realizing I have feelings for my best friend, but she is moving across the world to be with someone else this summer. I am struggling with immense guilt and don't know how to cope.

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