u/Budo00

Friends. i relapsed as a recovering codependent.

The situation: I have former coworker that got my number when we worked together because we all had to communicate in our Healthcare job. We are all professionals in hospital settings.

This person faded away from work, but we remain friendly.

Basically, she contacts me when she’s on something and I’ve been indulging this… I’ve been trying to be a positive force in her life and encourage her to check into AA, NA, rehab, call / text 988 or call 911 or go to the ER.

Here is what I get: she wants to have phone sex with me. She wants to talk about how other Men abused her. She wants me to buy her cigarettes and come to her house.

She’s a complete wreck that sounds on pills or alcohol… she is so random.

I admit that I “fell for it” and stayed on the phone talking too long.

She always tricks me first by talking shop about work then i spend my time trying to stop the phone sex talk & remind her I am in a relationship.

As you know. You can NOT reason with these people. They will just ramble all their insane BS, cross every boundary, abuse you while guilt tripping you.

Well, today, as soon as the talk got inappropriate, I shut her down then she starts fake crying and saying that “men abused her” basically trying ti manipulate me into being her rescuer and guilt me for not wanting to talk about sex on the phone or in person.

I have known this individual for 14 months and she does not work where I am but we know a lot of the same people in the business we are in.

Today, I hung up. Took a deep breath. Read my 12 steps again. Blocked her number. I can not let this insane poison affect my relationship or my work!

You cannot reason with these people!

I did an over the phone interview with a massage place and set up an in person.

They never sent me an email invite. I call to remind them & get put on hold 3 times when all you have to do is ask my name & email.

I hung up on the 3rd “please hold” but I then got an email and how they were excited to interview me for the “nail tech” position.

I laughed that red flag off, too. I was optimistic and need interview practice anyway. I never mentioned that typo because I figure your manager/ potential manager doesn’t want to have their mistakes pointed out to them & I’d be getting off on the wrong foot. They probably used a template & forgot to change it from last time.

I greeted my interviewer. During my tour, she points out all the bad things there. The lights not working, electrical problems. “Why is this here? Why is that dirty?. I need get them to put this away.” I felt like it was a house keeper interview. Not really saying anything exciting or positive.

Then i am shown a calendar and i realize they have only 1 part time LMT. There was a lot of talk of “hope you are ok working same day as other LMT” (not sure why that would be an issue?) the days could be my own choosing anyway and theres two rooms.

Then she sort of lets it out that all the LMTs quit but 1. The 1 “is not staying busy enough. She should be up selling more.”

I said well maybe she gets rebooked 1 x per month and not rebooking once per week. “Yeah but I should be seeing more rebookings than I am.”

Wow dude unreal. I sat right outside the business for about 45 minutes talking on my phone and saw no foot traffic at all. This is a well-known place. That’s been around for over 20 years and offer much more than just Massage but various spa treatments. On a busy day in a busy location

I’m not even bothered at all other than mildly annoyed and I thought you the reader would enjoy reading this. Especially if you are in a management position. That was just cringe. That person needs more training OR maybe she was trying to get rid of me?

The pay is 38%. And 5% on products with a base pay of $18 an hour if you are not busy… How to scare away potential new hires 101.

I never got that follow up email, either. What a clown show.

By the way. I’m a physical therapist assistant and I work in a very busy nursing home full-time. I was just trying to see what else is out there right now for me. I have a steady career in PT and have had all kinds of managers, work with doctors, nurses, OT, ST, PT case managers, state workers, social workers. Have worked in hospitals, home health setting’s. I did many many things out of my role when we have no director or rehab manager. Or during covid, I did a lot for the hospital like cleaning surgical rooms, supply delivery. I can adapt to virtuously anything.

I might just go rent a room and do cash paying massage or use an app to do house calls. Ill think about it. Thanks for reading

They probably expected me to go to home depot and buy over 8 quarts of some fancy wood preserver but instead i got 8 quarts of used synthetic motor oil and it looks professional & water beads up on the wood.

They’ll never know ! Mumuuuhahahaha! Fk them!

I saw the adds on facebook for this ready made meal company. Factor75.

I went off facebook to research their site.

Then I start trying to look at their menu geared towards keto diet.

I did enter my credit card info but I had NOT authorized them to charge me yet.

The reason why: i did not want the 5 pre selected different meals that were 4 or 5 of that same meal group. I wanted more variety not just 5 meals on repeat.

I wanted to mix it up more. I wanted to add a few non keto meals.

Next thing you know, before I was done compiling my updated menu, they try charing my card for different fees. I get 1 for $213. I get an other attempt at charging my card for a $25 fee.

My card flags these as fraud. I selected that I had NOT selected that $25 fee. Because I had not.

I wanted to build my menu first then be charged just a 1 time fee. Not get separate charges, different priced charges (how confusing!)

From what I added up, with shipping I would have been approximately $260 And about 24 meals give or take.

Well then they begin trying to charge my card over and over. I was still on their bloody website reading and researching, selecting dishes we might enjoy but the text notices from my cc over and bloody over began really distracting me.

I was unable to chat on their help with a human or rectify this with AI. I was unable to reach a human.

All i could do is “cancel my order”

Then I put my phone up & go to bed with the incomplete order and a “full basket”

The next day, I saw many many attempts to charge my card and for different prices.

I try again around 12:30 in the afternoon to call them on a week day. I was unable to stay on hold over 30 min while at my job.

By that evening, I get home & call again. 35 mon hold time, i hung up.

Called my CC company and explain my situation. The customer service person said that I had 75 attempts to bill on my cc and for different prices.

I thanked my CC company and asked them to reactivate my card. Yes this level of 75 attempts (how ironic SEVENTY FIVE attempts!)

Factor 75 had told me via a two pm email that “due to your card not allowing charges, we have canceled your order”

Looks like my cc company blocked me like a shield.

AAANDD I am done with this company before I ever even got started! This was insane! I do not like these tactics at all! Enter your CC before you are done putting an order together ?

Does anyone who has hung in there to read my rant advise a meal company that is better and geared for both keto and some plant based meals that would not do this to you?

My apologies in advance but I have a “beef” with some CODA and I am at a loss as to how to navigate around a few who are passive aggressive, bossy, trying to assign me tasks or direct me.

I have been wondering this for a while now about OT assistants that I work with.

First of all, some of them come walking up to me and say “thanks a lot! You already tired them out now they refused ME!” I used to apologize or play dumb now I push back which then makes enemies and resentment at work. I find this level of complaining very disruptive and counter productive. Like it’s all my fault this or that patient is this low effort and sometimes trying to split therapists or manipulate you out of utterly not giving a f about therapy.

I have also asked them: why aren’t you focused on functional self care goals? They look like they just rolled out of bed. You’re doing gait training and advancing people from wheel chair to ambulation with FWW or a 4WW.

I mean, am I wrong for standing up for myself and getting picked on? What would YOU say to some angry CODA?

Isn’t this sort of out of their scope?

Then you also have a manager trying to do weekly rehab meetings asking me “why did they walk 200’ but you chart only 40’?” Because thats what they did with me! Maybe they took pain meds earlier before the coda, idk. that’s really great that they walked 200 feet with CODA at six in the morning. But at 10:30 they only walked 40.

I also noticed that the CODA I work with get into work very early compared (2 hours) to me so they get the patient going but time after time are not helping them groom, clean up, shave, brush their hair, brush their teeth. “I don’t do that” they say when asked. They have the patient looking very disheveled. I at least try to make the patient brush their hair so they look presentable in public and not like they haven’t bathed in a week.

I often get attempted refusals that “no no I already did PT earlier with that girl who came in.” (that’s the CODA they are talking about ) But the coda doesn’t even document how far they ambulated, what level of assist, what device used.

Another very annoying trait I am at my wits end with CODA is this “leading me” bs. They will drag a patient to the gym then work them out then begin interrogating me in front of the patient.

Often times I am now very disrupted by this and look this person up then say “ i’m very sorry, but you are not on my schedule today. You are assigned to a different Physical Therapist and I don’t know why I’m being interrogated like this.”

it’s like the CODA is trying to “move things along, fast?”

I really don’t get it and I don’t operate this way. I don’t need anyone gathering up patients for me. I don’t need anyone telling me “you need to see this person. You need to do this or you need to do that. CODA is not in charge of a PTA and now, I push back every single time.

I’ve actually yelled really loudly. “Look, man stop trying to direct me. Stop trying to direct me stop trying to tell me what to do. Stop talking to me like this in front of the patient. I’m sick of hearing it. They’re not even assigned to me today! You don’t know what you’re even talking about. you’re having people do exercise exercises that are not appropriate then trying to get me to walk a patient back to their room as my “turn” for doing their therapy. And then you’re trying to tell me how to run my own discipline when you don’t know what you are talking about I don’t know why you do this.”

After that loud and direct confrontation in front of a gym of at least five patients while I was working with a different one on a set of stairs while being distracted by “do you have this person?” I finally blew up.

I was concentrating on working with just one person on a set of stairs that was very shaky when I was start getting interrogated like that and I really do not appreciate that! Its been day after day of “do you have her?! Do you have him?!” And I know with this CODA is doing. They want me to take the patient from them and walk them back to the room so they don’t have to waste their time returning the person back to the room. Basically giving me what scraps are left. That’s not really skilled therapy, now is it?

I just came here to ask objectively as possible. If anyone else reading this struggles with this type of behavior?

I’ve even seen CODA try to approach my supervising PT’s and direct them and tell them what THEY NEED to do! Honestly, I feel like some of them are a bunch of hacks that don’t even know what they are talking about !

I really wonder why they don’t focus on people eating, brushing teeth, brushing hair, shaving, standing at the mirror. Going on and off the commode. You could actually have an easy time if you just stuck with the patient getting from the bed to the bathroom and getting dressed.

I don’t know and I just ignore the CODA from now on.

It could be also that they’re just passive aggressive cause they don’t like the politics of this nursing home and there’s a lot of workplace stress. And unreasonable “productivity” requirements.

At another job, I’ve actually had one CODA who was so incompetent all she could do was follow me around like a lost puppy. We were basically co-treating all day long, but not billing it that way.

I really don’t think that we need to have a competition between the two disciplines but it feels that way. I have incorporated my defense mechanism and tactics now to physically separate myself and ignore the CODA.

Ps, i really hate COtreating if you’re into playing “tennis” with a patient. that’s yet another gripe I have is that I don’t think they seem to understand that these patients have a cognitive issue and so they bombarded them with way too much information and then they pause and point to me and expect me to perform and “say my end” when infact you as a coda already are basically doing everything, saying everything, i am offering mostly physical support with stand/ transfer to a wheelchair.

My PT has agreed with me on this when we spoke privately and I vented to her about this. I just don’t know what’s the plan / tactic moving forward.

This post was not meant to bash on all OT / CODA I’ve worked with some very wonderful ones. Thanks for reading.

Any thoughts ?

I really binge watched this entire series. Yes it’s “campy“ and it jumps the shark. Some of the capers they do are absolutely laughably ridiculous but that just made the show kind of have an “The A team.” type feel

At times, J reminds me of Dexter.

I’m also enjoying reading all of the commentsin here. And I was very pleased to realize that there are a lot of people like me who just completed watching the series!

As my title mentions, I was pleased to discover the Australian movie with the same namesake. There are some fantastic actors in it. The story of Baz was interesting.

It really goes to show you how much time and passion went into this story and all of it’s iterations. The movie is a pre pre pilot pf sorts.

The show does major character development but it becomes sort of cartoonish at times.

some if my gripes:
Daren being openly and unapologetically gay for some reason just did not feel believable to me at all. I suspect this was linked to the movie script where Pope keeps berating Darin about being gay as he gaslights him and offers support that he is gay when you know he was just totally twisted and fucking with him.

Renn not offing Craig was another “ah come on! That’s so corny!” Moment. She tortured him mentally and physically but lets him go and has his baby then they do smack around the kid then shes clean but bitchy in Thailand?! None of that dynamic are in the film.

The film is more a focus on how fucked up the Cody brothers are and then the reveal is that Smurf was the ring leader veiled as a sweet grandma that likes cooking.

I really had fun watching the series and then watching the movie once I realize that it existed! That was news to me!