u/ButterscotchShake

Sincerely curious to understand the reasoning and the expectation of how this will go.

Do you

… find it difficult to think of anything interesting?

… believe it is the man’s job to carry the conversation?

… have so many options it doesn’t feel worth making effort?

… do it to test his ability to carry the convo?

… think ‘Hey’ is a good conversation starter?

… say more than ‘Hey’ when you’re super attracted to the guy? If so, what is the reasoning there?

Please comments only from ladies who say ‘hey’ to men. No disparaging comments from men, the spirit of this post is understanding not criticising.

Aware Bumble just dropped the women message first thing.

Knowing there’s a 90% chance he’s not interested in talking, is there anything that could engage him?

My thoughts:

Lauryn’s sound was bad - couldn’t hear her voice properly under the overly loud band, (which didnt need FOUR drum kits!). We just want a stripped back sound like Erykah had and hear the classics as we remember them.

Lateness - Running late on your own ‘curated’ event then actung surprised when curfew stops you at 11pm is ridiculous (I half expected it though 🙄) WTF were you doing?’

Ridiculous to keep crowds waiting nearly 2 HOURS between sets.

YG Marley, Zion - giving them 10 mins stage time cost hearing ‘Killing Me Softly’

Dave Chappelle barely ‘hosted’ - he phoned that in. Given we stood waiting 1.5-2 hours why didn’t we get like 15 mins of comedy?

Erykah Badu - stunning performance, takes her stage performance seriously. Lauryn could learn from her.

Giggs and Kano were excellent. Crew actually hurried Giggs to finish bang on time, only to start late 🙄

Shuttle bus/exiting the arena - so badly organised. Hundreds of people missed the train. Quicker to walk.

Overall - beautiful day but a missed opportunity for something really special. Won’t pay money to see Lauryn Hill again and I’ve been a fan for 30 years.

Ricky is such a strange contradiction/conundrum of a person.

His Brent performance required a rare social intelligence and awareness to capture those nuanced insecurities and motivations. To play Brent to perfection he had to deeply understand those traits and have the social awareness to ridicule them so precisely.

Soon after The Office, his public persona played up the ‘faux arrogance’ for laughs and we were all in on the joke believing he wasn’t really arrogant. His rants about fame in Extras again show that awareness, even if performative.

But now he so transparently suffers from those exact traits he once ridiculed so adeptly: deep insecurity, abandoning his integrity to seek strangers’ validation, giant social blind spots and looking ridiculous in the process.

How does someone go from having this unique social intelligence to being the absolute opposite (and seeming totally oblivious to it)?

I think this odd inner conflict is at the core of why the fans in this subreddit are so fixated on ‘hating’ him now - it’s the contrast to what we used to see in Gervais.

I get the belief that ‘dinner dates signal intent’ however it really works like this - like women, men have to balance the economics of time, energy and money when navigating the dating world.

So ladies please consider the man’s perspective here and share your thoughts. And read the ** point near the end for the crux.

> Over 1 week of swiping I might get 8 solid matches I’d like to actually meet.

> Texting 8 matches intentionally to get to know them is a lot of phone admin for all parties and in 2026 women want to meet quickly anyway (‘no pen pals’) - totally understandable - but this compromises the crucial filtering process for men and women, so we won’t know how we feel til we meet. Fine - thats how it is.

• Assuming 5 of those matches are actually up for meeting soon, I’ve got 2 weeks max to arrange dates before interest fades in this whirlwind dating world. To give all of these opportunities a real chance I have to give considerable time to arranging dates and actually going out - great, maybe I’ll meet the love of my life.

• The standard expectation is the man pays and a ‘real date’ is dinner at a decent restaurant (see general attitudes in other threads).

• So I’ve got 5 dates to cover. Dinner with drinks for two is easily £100-150

= £500-£750 just for a first meet with all these matches and likely half those dates won’t go to a second (because ‘no pen pals’ means we essentially met as strangers, inevitably most are mismatches).

You don’t have to be ‘broke’ to see that’s not smart. Dating is an entirely different prospect when you are the one accountable for the finances.

It‘s also short sighted for both women and men in other ways that are equally/more important to meaningful dating:

• Dinner out is supposed to be a special thing with a special person, I don’t want to do that unless it’s with someone I know I want a whole evening with (and more importantly, dont you ladies want that too?). And we usually know before the waiter has taken our order if this is worth our time.

> Alternatively, a quicker coffee/cocktail date for ~60 mins is still fun, low pressure and if no mutual attraction then we didn’t waste each other’s time, energy or money and we didn’t invest too much to feel jaded.

• Bonus 1: This quick date can always lead to dinner straight away if the chemistry is that good - if not, you both have a polite exit excuse.

• Bonus 2: Men dont get to lean on money/venue to flex, they **actually have to show up with personality**

• Bonus 3: if women get the creepy vibe ‘he wants something in return for this date’ thats minimised and you can always just pay your own drink and exit if it’s uncomfortable.

• Bonus 4: if he isn’t anything like his profile you don’t have to humour him for a 3-course meal. Just 1 drink then excuse yourself. Likewise for men.

** I know women want to feel special on a date but understand it’s *not that special* if every woman gets the dinner date treatment on day one, it’s just a formality. And if you’re the type of woman who wants to know the guy spent a certain amount on your date - well he also spent that on his other dates so it isn’t the differentiation you might think it is. It’s just ‘the price of dating’, it’s not about you at all.

‘Special’ is: We met briefly, had obvious chemistry so mutually decided we are excited for each other’s company over dinner on the next date.

And if we click we potentially have a lifetime to sample any restaurant in the world! So chill on the fixation on ‘dinner means he’s intentional’, it actually signifies nothing particularly meaningful short or long term.

Getting a Series 11 (with iPhone 17) if that helps.

I’ll be new to Apple Watch so don’t really know what I’ll use Siri AI for - I was decided on the GPS model but now I’m wondering if there will be worthwhile use cases involving Siri AI that might be limited if I have GPS only.

Do you have any thoughts, even speculatively?
Thanks

New to EMDR but my target memories currently focus on parent behaviours I was exposed to as a child leaving me with C-PTSD. I leave feeling sessions were constructive but wanting to address the years of pain I was exposed to and tell them that Im now working through that.

That would probably hurt them badly, which I don’t want. But part of me wants them to understand how their behaviours for decades damaged me to the point I feel like a shell of what I could’ve been in life.

Has anyone been in this scenario?

Curious to hear your individual cases/symptom changes but also how EMDR actually impacts bodily symptoms?

For me, symptoms are chronic physical tension and fatigue and possible low level joint inflammation - likely caused by living in fight/flight for 30+ years due to constant exposure to high stress environment.

For example

The Office fans: Peep Show, Stewart Lee, the works of Fyodor Dostoevsky, Radiohead

Afterlife fans: Lee Nelson’s Well Good Show, Dan Brown novels, Michael Buble

Seriously, it’s actually insulting now that Ricky is denying Steve his deserved credit for a show he jointly made a success and made RG a superstar.

So - what’d be the best way to do this? Post the same thing altogether at the same time under a particular video? Do it ongoing for the next week? Thoughts…

If all 118k in this sub posted something that’s… a profit

Im talking all festivals, village fetes, community events and activities, live music, outdoor screenings and cinemas….

Let’s thread all the fun stuff worth checking out