u/Butterscotchbabuh

I kinda wanted to start up a discussion around lost ASMR media/ ASMRtist that disappear.

Rant/Context:sorry if this feels super jumbled, this all happened right now. For a bit of background about four years ago or maybe five when the audio originally came out, I used to religiously follow this one creator (love boldly) mainly for this one Yandere audio series he started (which has a police officer sequel still on his YouTube page, but the Yandere one has been taken down). As corny as it sounds that series really helped me through some dark times. For the longest time I literally thought I dreamt up that series because I couldn’t find it anywhere. Funny enough in my search I stumbled on this other channel that I also religiously listen to around the same time, remembering one of their series helped me find out they actually collaborated with the creator I was searching for (the moment I listened to the collaboration video, I felt like my world collided lol) only to find out the series I was looking for has been taken down. I don’t know if it was because of YouTube itself or the creator but genuinely I’ve never been so sad to be that close to reliving an old memory.

Making this more of an open discussion, do you guys have any similar experiences? Have a favorite creator who fell off the face of the Earth or have a favorite asmr/ asmr series that they can’t remember for the life of them, that is now basically lost media.

Hi Relationship Reddit,

I wanted to come on here for some possible advice because honestly, I don’t really know what to do anymore. This has been happening for a while now throughout our two-year relationship, and I think it’s gotten worse the longer we’ve been together and the more comfortable he’s gotten.

I’m black and my boyfriend is white. In the beginning, he never made jokes like this, but slowly over time he’s started making more racially charged jokes. The most recent one is what really snapped me into wanting to seriously address this.

Context: He was talking about a girl classmate trying to get with a football player, and I jokingly said maybe he should become one too because of the money. He responded with something along the lines of, “Well, I’m white, but maybe since our kids would be half black/ half football players they’d have a 50% chance.” I don’t remember the exact wording, but the energy behind it made me feel really uncomfortable.

He’s said other racial jokes like this, but not racist jokes if that makes sense (no mocking languages, stereotypes, stuff like that, but I know these are still bad). he said the football joke around my younger sister, and in the moment I played it off but I felt genuinely embarrassed and uncomfortable. I’ve brought up before early in our relationship that I don’t like these kinds of jokes, but he’s kinda “brushed” it off/ don’t worry babe kinda of thing. And I’m so confrontational that I don’t say anything.

I really love him, which is why this is so hard. But I feel really uncomfortable with the idea of allowing this behavior in our relationship. I especially hate the thought of him acting like this around my younger sister because I don’t want her thinking this kind of behavior is normal or acceptable. And thinking about our possible future kids and it honestly scares me too. I don’t want racial jokes being made at their expense just because “his Black girlfriend/wife doesn’t say anything.”

I don’t think his parents are like this (they’re honestly sweet people) which is part of why I think maybe this is some immature teen boy humor thing. But even if that’s true, it still hurts and makes me uncomfortable.

I spoke about this to one of my friends in the past, and he mentioned that interracial relationships can sometimes be difficult because not only do you have to explain the racism you experience (racism is serious and real), but you also have to figure out whether your partner truly sees you as an equal and respects those experiences. And now I can’t stop thinking about what my guy friend said.

I’ve thought about bringing this up to my therapist because I’ve genuinely cried over this a lot, but I honestly feel embarrassed and ashamed that I’ve allowed it to go on this long and school is over for me now, so I don’t even see her anymore.

I guess I just really need advice on how to address this and whether I’m overreacting or not. Any advice would be appreciated.

Edit:

Genuine question: can someone display racially disrespectful behavior while still caring about their partner?

Not trying to be one of those TikTok wives, I’m just struggling because outside of the comments he has supported me, defended/ stood up for me in hard situations with his mom , helped with my small business I started last year in highschool (donated 3k of his fast food job money to help me get off the ground, since he said he believed in my dream to be a business owner and still helps in other ways), helped me care for my younger sister in high school when it was kinda of just her and I. That’s why I’m conflicted on whether this reflects a deeper issue or immature behavior that could change if seriously addressed.