u/ByeByeByeMan

We have 4 kids, 3 of which are active boys. For the spring season we have a 16 year old in track, a 15 year old doing lacrosse, and an 11 year old playing baseball. All at various stages of puberty.

They eat everything and I get it, but it's becoming ridiculous with the amount of shopping that needs to get done just to replace things gone in a day. Eggs go like water. Same goes for meat. Many nights after dinner the 11 year old will start scrambling some eggs and cooking bacon or the 15 year old will make a burger. Fruit is gone before it even hits the fridge it seems. Yesterday my 16 year old had 3 apples while waiting for dinner, finished his dinner, and then made a sandwich. All of them are in shape. Lean and muscular. I am not concerned about their health, just our wallets.

Any ideas? We make filling dinners where they can help themselves to seconds and they often (read: almost always) do but that doesn't stop the before dinner and after dinner snacking. It won't get any better either. In the fall the eldest will switch to marching band, while the 15 and 11 year olds play football. Then it's wrestling for the middle boy and basketball for the youngest boy in the winter. They will keep being active and hungry.

Outside of state schools?

Son is finishing junior year. He has good stats. 4.0 unweighted GPA and 1580 SAT score. Decent extracurriculars like theater, track, president/founded of animal science club, volunteer hours at the animal shelter, marching band, and holds leadership in honor society and student government. He plans on majoring in animal science with the intention of either pursuing a PhD or vet school. His dream school is Cornell but they don't give merit aid and we make too much to qualify for much financial aid. However, we can not justify 90k a year on tuition for one kid.

He is also looking at Purdue, Virigina Tech, NC State, Wisconsin, Texas A&M, Michigan State, Auburn, and Kansas State in addition to our state school (UMass-Amherst). Anywhere else we should focus that offers a good animal science program that also gives merit aid?

My wife and I have 4 kids. The oldest is finishing junior year and will be applying to colleges this fall. He is a great kid and a fantastic student. Currently ranked 3 in his class but thinks he can take 2 before graduation. He is maxed out on AP courses. Perfect GPA. Great test scores. Tons of volunteer hours at the animal shelter and president of an animal science club he created at his school. Key role in honor society, does the spring musical, runs track, and does marching band. All in all a great applicant.

But we fall into the weird range of being too "rich" for financial aid but too poor to pay out of pocket for an elite education. His dream school is pricey and we don't expect to receive much aid. I have been telling my wife we need to be real with him and tell him that his best options at this point are to look at our state school (he doesn't want to go there but will apply) OR schools that give merit aid to students like him. We have found some schools that will basically give him full tuition for his scores and grades. My wife thinks that is killing his dream before it even starts. She says we should let him apply everywhere and then figure it out as far as finances are concerned. My argument is we have 3 other kids after him to put through college. Figuring it out for him could mean less for them in the future.

I think we need to just lay it out. Show him what we can afford and what options he has that won't put us under. My wife thinks he worked hard and we shouldn't crush his dreams because "where there is a will there is a way" to make things work. So, what do you guys think? Am I being too harsh?

Note: He will need further education after this. He wants to either get a PhD or be a veterinarian, so either way more schooling after undergrad which is even more reason to not go all out IMO.

Edit: Important note. His dream school does NOT offer merit scholarships (or athletic scholarships). They ONLY offer need based aid and he will not qualify.

Edit2: Since this keeps coming up, yes we do make over 200k. We did not until recently. My wife was a SAHM for 6 years and I had a unexpected promotion at my job after my boss retired and I threw my name in the hat for the position. That increased my salary over 40k. My wife's salary has also increased about 10k in the last 5-10 years. We have put aside money for college but we have 4 kids in a very high cost of living area. We do not have enough for all 4 kids to spend 90-100k PER YEAR at their dream schools.