u/Calcarium

I just want to talk to you guys... I'm a lonely friendless bastard who gets his rocks off pretending to write Noelle text about her kissing/living with Kris that I self insert as and therefore treat as male... I had online friends but they're all kinda gone... am I that annoying of a person... I just want some human contact... Noelle reminds me of a friend I treasure deeply and have feelings for but she will never like me the way I do... I never get to hang out with anybody. I'm not a desirable or beautiful person in any way... I've always been the class clown loser, that's why everything I make is so damn funny... I just want to be held and comforted as I've comforted others... why don't we do that anymore...

OH NO. OOOOOOH MY DELTARUNE. SWEET PACIFIST ROUTE. SHE'S ALREADY GONE TO THE HOUSE. THEY'RE TOTALLY GOING TO BEAT HER ASS. IN A LITERAL MANNER.

THE PLAYER DIDN'T EVEN GET THE SHADOW MANTLE. I SAW ALL OF IT. ON MY DEVICE SCREEN. HE GOT A C ON BOARD 1. HE FUCKING SUCKS AT DODGING!!!! AND HE'S GONNA BEAT HER ANYWAY. BECAUSE HE BOUGHT A BIJINTILLION TV DINNERS WITH ALL HIS POINTS. THAT HE BOUGHT. FROM A RANDOM FUCKING PIPPIS. AND ALL SUSIE NEEDS TO DO. IS POKE HER UNCOVERED ASS OR GROIN. WITH THE RUDEST MOTHERFUCKING NUT BUSTER. THOSE FUCKING ANIMALS.

ALL SHE HAD TO DO. WAS NOT TO BE THE MOST GIANTEST THHHHHHHHHHHHROT THE WORLD HAS EVEN SEEN. AND HAVE GAY SEX WITH ASRIEL IN THIS FILTHY FUCKING BUNKER. WHILE HAVING 99% OF HER ARMOR ON. AND NOT EVEN BOTHERING TO TAKE A SHOWER AFTER.

NOW ALL MY MASTERFUL USE. OF NARRATIVE TROPES. AND STORYTELLING ELEMENTS. WILL BE FOR NAUGHT. JOHN MANTLE WON'T BE THERE TO PUSH KRIS TOWARDS VIOLENCE. THAT LITTLE BRITISH SHIT WON'T BE KIDNAPPED. THE HEROES WON'T FULLY GRASP THE KNIGHT'S POWER. SO MANY COOL SONGS MISSED. ALL BECAUSE THAT NYMPHO HOLIDAY FREAK. COULD NOT ABSTAIN FROM FURRY GOAT DICK. FOR EVEN A FUCKING FEMPTONSECOND.

I AM SO SICK. I AM SO MAD. I'M GONNA GO SIC THE FRIENDS ON NOELLE. SO I WON'T BE SO MAD. GOD DAMNIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ahem.

Dearest December.

Your eyes are an ocean.

Your breasts...

Are also an ocean.

I kneel.

He is hauling ass