u/Canep_

TL;DR: This story started when I started the hight school, it was my first year and it was a special school. We were supervised by the army, this is a school made for children who have parents in the army so almost everyone was in the same situation : two parents in the military, who move almost every time. So this was pretty difficult, cause I’m introvert and there was a lot of new face for me.
Few weeks before, I lost my mother, she was really sick and she passed her 3 last months at the hospital. And et the same time, my boyfriend left me because of his own problems. So I was totally alone, I lost my mother, my friends, and I was living the weekend with my father but I didn’t really know him that much and he didn’t really know me either.
And after few days, I started to talk with a guy. He was handsome, like probably the most handsome guy I’ve never seen. He was kind and intelligent. And when I was looking at him, it was for me pretty obvious that he wasn’t heterosexual, and I was absolutely right. For the firsts weeks, we were eating alone, just me and him. Every Wednesday we had 2 hours where we could left the school and wander through the city, and few time we went together, taking something to eat. And this was fantastic.
But I started to feel weird, not for me, but for him. Because I was clearly obsessed with him after few months. I was in love, and he was the only one to help me. I’ve got news friends, but I was always looking at him. And suddenly he stopped talking to me, for weeks and months we didn’t talk. It was probably hard for him, cause he assumed that he was bisexual or pansexual, and few guys were making fun about me and him always being together. And he probably wanted that to stop.
But even during these months without taking, we had some interaction. One night, after a bowling party with my class, we were the only two of the room who couldn’t sleep. So we talked, we talked for something like 4 hours and this was so sweet. And another day, we had another interaction. You need to know that in this school we had uniform, so everyone had the same dress. And one day, we were alone in the room and he come infront of me and he asked : "Don’t you think this pant make me a bad ass ?" I was really surprised, cause, why would you ask me this question after weeks without talking ?? And I said that his ass was looking good, but he didn’t seem convinced. So he went to his part of the room and he came back with another pant and he started to undress inform of me while saying : "I got this pant which is tighter so I should make me a better ass", and I couldn’t get my eyes of him, my heart has never beat like it beaten at this moment. It was excited and worried, what if he was just playing ? But I forgot this idea of him playing, and I just thought that he wanted a real opinion from me.
And after that, nothing until the few last weeks of school, I’ve got diagnosed with a depression and I went to hospital for a week. During these months I never felt so bad, I thought that I lost him. At the hospital they diagnosed me with a sentimental disorder, but I never got anything. The psychiatrist told me to get out of his office cause I didn’t have anything to pay, even thought I got a letter from a hight-ranking person of my city saying that my school will pay. And when I finally got medical treatment, my father trews it to the trash.

The last week, this guy came to me when I was in my bed and told me to follow him outside of the room. Once outside, he told me : "Never get your eyes on me again, I hate that, and it make me feel sick". At the moment I knew that I probably was the problem, I never wanted him to feel anything like that, but I still make him feel that. After that we never talked again. It was 3 years ago, and I always wondered what did he felt during these months ? Maybe some of the things that happened had finally never happened ? During my depression, I’ve got a lot of blackout, a lot of thing happened but I never remember. Maybe this had something to do with why does it turn so bad. And sometime I still dream of him, wondering why I had to be like this with him.

By the way, sorry for the mistake, I’m not English and I didn’t use anything to translate so I hope you’Il understand everything. And if you have any question, you can ask, or lf you had living something like this please try to answer to me about why

TL;DR: This story started when I started the hight school, it was my first year and it was a special school. We were supervised by the army, this is a school made for children who have parents in the army so almost everyone was in the same situation : two parents in the military, who move almost every time. So this was pretty difficult, cause I’m introvert and there was a lot of new face for me.
Few weeks before, I lost my mother, she was really sick and she passed her 3 last months at the hospital. And et the same time, my boyfriend left me because of his own problems. So I was totally alone, I lost my mother, my friends, and I was living the weekend with my father but I didn’t really know him that much and he didn’t really know me either.
And after few days, I started to talk with a guy. He was handsome, like probably the most handsome guy I’ve never seen. He was kind and intelligent. And when I was looking at him, it was for me pretty obvious that he wasn’t heterosexual, and I was absolutely right. For the firsts weeks, we were eating alone, just me and him. Every Wednesday we had 2 hours where we could left the school and wander through the city, and few time we went together, taking something to eat. And this was fantastic.
But I started to feel weird, not for me, but for him. Because I was clearly obsessed with him after few months. I was in love, and he was the only one to help me. I’ve got news friends, but I was always looking at him. And suddenly he stopped talking to me, for weeks and months we didn’t talk. It was probably hard for him, cause he assumed that he was bisexual or pansexual, and few guys were making fun about me and him always being together. And he probably wanted that to stop.
But even during these months without taking, we had some interaction. One night, after a bowling party with my class, we were the only two of the room who couldn’t sleep. So we talked, we talked for something like 4 hours and this was so sweet. And another day, we had another interaction. You need to know that in this school we had uniform, so everyone had the same dress. And one day, we were alone in the room and he come infront of me and he asked : "Don’t you think this pant make me a bad ass ?" I was really surprised, cause, why would you ask me this question after weeks without talking ?? And I said that his ass was looking good, but he didn’t seem convinced. So he went to his part of the room and he came back with another pant and he started to undress inform of me while saying : "I got this pant which is tighter so I should make me a better ass", and I couldn’t get my eyes of him, my heart has never beat like it beaten at this moment. It was excited and worried, what if he was just playing ? But I forgot this idea of him playing, and I just thought that he wanted a real opinion from me.
And after that, nothing until the few last weeks of school, I’ve got diagnosed with a depression and I went to hospital for a week. During these months I never felt so bad, I thought that I lost him. At the hospital they diagnosed me with a sentimental disorder, but I never got anything. The psychiatrist told me to get out of his office cause I didn’t have anything to pay, even thought I got a letter from a hight-ranking person of my city saying that my school will pay. And when I finally got medical treatment, my father trews it to the trash.

The last week, this guy came to me when I was in my bed and told me to follow him outside of the room. Once outside, he told me : "Never get your eyes on me again, I hate that, and it make me feel sick". At the moment I knew that I probably was the problem, I never wanted him to feel anything like that, but I still make him feel that. After that we never talked again. It was 3 years ago, and I always wondered what did he felt during these months ? Maybe some of the things that happened had finally never happened ? During my depression, I’ve got a lot of blackout, a lot of thing happened but I never remember. Maybe this had something to do with why does it turn so bad. And sometime I still dream of him, wondering why I had to be like this with him.

By the way, sorry for the mistake, I’m not English and I didn’t use anything to translate so I hope you’Il understand everything. And if you have any question, you can ask, or lf you had living something like this please try to answer to me about why