u/CapVikSolo

One thing that still gets me is how comfortable some people are just moving wheelchair users.

I had a store-side supervisor at work come up behind me once and push my chair out of the way because I was blocking a gate.

I immediately said, “Not cool.”
He goes, “You were in the way of the gate.”
And I was like, “So say something.”

He genuinely didn’t think he had done anything wrong.

So I asked him, “What if I pulled you into my lap and pushed you across the room?”

“That’s different.”

At this point I was getting a little hot under the collar.
“How?”

He tried to answer a couple of times and just… couldn’t.

Eventually he gave up, and you could see that he was a little embarrassed because I think it finally clicked what he had actually done.

I wasn’t upset because another human being had touched my wheelchair. There are plenty of situations where I’m perfectly fine with someone pushing me.

Another time, another automotive tech, Al, and I were in the storeroom gathering a bunch of small supplies. He basically went, “Here, you hold everything and I’ll push.”

He didn’t formally ask me either, but the situation was completely different. There was mutual respect there. We were working together, it made sense, and I agreed to it. I also knew that if I had said no, Al would have listened and that would have been the end of it.

That matters.

The difference is that he didn’t treat me like an object that happened to be blocking his path.

If I’m in your way, tell me.

If you offer me help and I say no, respect the fucking no.

Just don’t walk up behind a wheelchair user, grab their chair, and decide for them where they’re going.

I’ve had ADHD my whole life, so forgetting something on the way out the door is definitely not new for me. Disability has just turned that particular character flaw into a full logistics exercise.
A friend from work invited me to a wellness fair today at the Adams County Fairgrounds in Brighton. Not my yum, but I had no other plans, and I like to try new things, so I figured I’d tag along.
I couldn’t tell from the information online whether everything would be indoors or outside. Looking at pictures of the fairgrounds, it seemed like some of the booths might be set up on grass even though there are paved paths around the grounds, so I loaded my scooter onto the hitch carrier, just in case.
Then I realized I’d forgotten my sunglasses.
Whatever. Not worth going back inside.
Then I remembered my spray fan. It’s hot, and because of my SCI I can’t sweat below my injury level, so that one actually was worth going back for.
One important bit of context: there’s a single step between my kitchen and the main floor of my house. I can hop it in my chair, so it’s manageable, but it takes a significant amount of effort. Doing it once is no big deal. Doing it over and over because my brain keeps remembering one more thing starts adding up pretty quickly.
So, back up the step.
Grab the fan, sunscreen, sunglasses, and backup batteries for the fan.
Get back toward the car and realize that if I’m wearing my sunglasses, I need the case for my regular glasses.
Back up the step.
Then I realize I left the sunscreen up there.
Back up the step again.
Then I remember my water bottle.
Back up the step AGAIN.
Eventually I finally make it into the car with everything.
Between needing more stuff with me now, that one stupid step, and my lifelong ADHD tendency to remember things approximately twelve seconds after remembering them would have been useful, it can take forever just to leave the house.
And naturally, when I got there, the entire fair was indoors. So almost everything I kept going back for ended up being unnecessary.
But it could have been outside, and that’s the part that gets me. Disability adds this constant layer of contingency planning to completely ordinary things.
I miss “phone, wallet, keys.”

For me, a lot of it has been figuring out what I actually like versus what a chair is “supposed” to have.

For context, I’m a T4 complete with no core, so some of my setup choices are built around giving me stability without adding more chair than I want.

I currently use 52 mm skateboard wheels as casters. Definitely not for everyone, and I have eaten pavement a few times because of that choice, but I like how they feel and handle.

I also don’t use wheel locks; I like high side guards; and I prefer a pretty significant seat dump so the chair envelopes me more like a bucket seat. I use a comparatively low back for my injury level, and I like my feet tucked pretty far underneath me, with my toes roughly under my knees.

I have a few add-on accessories I’ll use depending on what the day has in store, but for the most part, I keep my chair pretty minimalist.

And one thing I am absolutely firm on: I will not use a sling back. Or anti-tips.

Obviously, none of these choices are universal. Different bodies, disabilities, balance, terrain, and priorities all change what works.

What small setup change made your chair noticeably better for you?

For me, a lot of it has been figuring out what I actually like versus what a chair is “supposed” to have.

For context, I’m a T4 complete with no core, so some of my setup choices are built around giving me stability without adding more chair than I want.

I currently use 52 mm skateboard wheels as casters. Definitely not for everyone, and I have eaten pavement a few times because of that choice, but I like how they feel and handle.

I also don’t use wheel locks; I like high side guards; and I prefer a pretty significant seat dump so the chair envelopes me more like a bucket seat. I use a comparatively low back for my injury level, and I like my feet tucked pretty far underneath me, with my toes roughly under my knees.

I have a few add-on accessories I’ll use depending on what the day has in store, but for the most part, I keep my chair pretty minimalist.

And one thing I am absolutely firm on: I will not use a sling back. Or anti-tips.

Obviously, none of these choices are universal. Different bodies, disabilities, balance, terrain, and priorities all change what works.

What small setup change made your chair noticeably better for you?

I’m a wheelchair user, and something that honestly feels inconsiderate is when someone who has a legitimate disabled placard but doesn’t need the extra space habitually uses accessible parking even when there are regular spots the same distance from the entrance, or sometimes even closer.

I’m not talking about questioning whether someone is disabled or deserves their placard. There are plenty of disabilities where minimizing walking distance is necessary, and that’s a completely legitimate reason to have one.

I’m talking about situations where distance is the accommodation you need, there’s a regular spot that provides essentially the exact same distance, and you still automatically take the accessible spot.

For me, the extra space isn’t just a convenience. I need enough room to actually get my wheelchair in and out. A regular parking space right next to the entrance might be perfectly usable for someone whose main concern is walking distance, while it can still be unusable for me.

Obviously, if the accessible spot is the closest option and you need it, use it. That’s what it’s there for. But if an equally close regular spot works for your disability, I wish more people would consider taking it instead of treating the accessible spot as the automatic choice every time simply because they have a placard.

I’m curious how other people feel about this.