My wife built an incredible personal library upstairs, but I can barely read, and it’s slowly driving a wedge between us.
Hey everyone, I’m in a weird spot and really need some outside perspective because I feel like I'm failing my marriage over something completely stupid.
My wife is an absolute, hardcore bookworm. She has literally built an entire personal library upstairs in our house, shelves packed to the ceiling, cozy chairs, the whole nine yards. It’s her absolute happy place, and she spends hours up there.
Here’s my problem: I am not a reader. I never have been. I have a really hard time sitting still, focusing on pages, and not getting distracted. But lately, she’s been trying harder and harder to share her passion with me. She wants to connect through it, which I love her for. To try and meet her halfway, I actually went ahead and reserved Dungeon Crawler Carl from the library because I heard it’s a fast-paced page-turner, and I thought the LitRPG style might actually hold my attention.
But the book hasn't come in yet, and in the meantime, the pressure is building. Last night, she wanted to do a "quiet reading night" together in the library. I sat there for 20 minutes staring at a book, completely unable to process the words, while our dog just sat on the bed next to us watching me fidget. Eventually, I gave up, pulled out my phone, and I could just see the instant disappointment on her face. She didn't say anything, but she shut her book early and went to sleep.
I feel terrible. I want to connect with her, and I love that she wants to include me in her world, but every time I try to force myself into it, I feel like a failure, and she feels rejected.
What do I do here? How do I tell her that I really am trying, and that I’m waiting on a book I hope will work, cwithout making it sound like a lame excuse? Is there a way to share that space with her without forcing myself to be someone I'm not?