u/Capital_Progress_390

I’ve found this second generation Prius at a used car dealership. It’s just $11,000 for a 2014. I have decision anxiety. I came in late today to test drive and hopefully buy the car, but before buying, I wanted to be sure the battery had been replaced at some point. From the research I’ve done, Prius batteries last about a decade, and this is an eight year old car. It’s got just over 100,000 miles on it. So if this car still has the original battery in it, this is obviously a no-go. But if the battery has been replaced or repaired recently, it’s a great deal.

Apparently the service department is out until MONDAY. I’m in an expensive rental car right now. I work every day (including weekends). I don’t have time to deal with this shit. I need a new car because my old one is totaled. I’m still working on the insurance claim.

For some background, my last car was a Nissan Leaf. The battery died on me at just 27,000 miles! So I’m sure you can understand why the battery age is such an important factor in my decision. I need to know this before I buy that car. But I also have amassed hundreds of dollars on this fucking rental, and it’s only going to get worse between now and Monday. What would you do?

Sales is open tomorrow, but not services BTW. It’s stupid.

Or for that matter, even more liberal? Having no income taxes is cool and all, but Marsha Blackburn is one of the most corrupt politicians alive today, and if she becomes governor, I just might have to leave. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a Democrat, but when I found out about the THCA and kratom bans that she successfully pushed, I was outraged. The whole kratom mass phobia largely started with the synthetic 7-OH shots, or “gas station heroin” as it’s often called, being sold. 7-OH is an addictive substance found in kratom, so people started fearing kratom altogether, even though it’s been consumed as a tea in SE Asia for centuries. Then when Matthew Davenport died of a so-called “kratom overdose,” which isn’t a thing BTW, it was the perfect chance to ban kratom. Matthew likely died of a Benadryl overdose if you look at the autopsy. Kratom was in his blood, but along with many other drugs.

And then there was the THCA ban along with that. We all know THC is not physically addictive, and no one has ever died from it. But Mrs. Bitchburn wanted to ban that too. Now the only recreational substance left is alcohol, which is more deadly than THC and kratom combined. People die from alcohol poisoning every day, but nobody’s got a problem with that. After all, Tennessee produces Jack Daniel’s whiskey, and Nashville is defined by honky tonks and pedal taverns! But when safer (not completely safe, but a lot better than chugging a bottle of Jack) substances come on the market, they have to ban those! Thanks, alcohol lobby!

What’s next, caffeine? If Marsha becomes governor, she’ll probably ban coffee because one person died from taking a caffeine pill 20 years ago.

Anyway, enough venting. How can I as a voter help make Tennessee more tolerant when it comes to these and similar substances? People who are truly addicted will just go to another state to get them. I know the primary is soon. Which Republican candidate is the most libertarian on issues like this? Since Tennessee is so red, I feel like it would be more wise to vote in the Republican primary instead of the Democratic one. Obviously not Blackburn. Then when it comes to the main election, the Republican candidate won’t be so radically conservative, and I can just vote Republican. Or maybe I’ll just vote Democrat. I just don’t think that’s realistic in a state like Tennessee.

What do you think is the wisest move here?

So I “totaled” my 2020 Nissan Leaf. By “totaled,” I mean I dinged up the left front. There’s a hole in the headlight, and the front wheels and axel are a bit misaligned. Thankfully nobody was hurt—I just hit a pole.

Liberty Mutual is offering me $10k for it. At first it was $9k, but when I informed them that it had a brand new battery and uploaded the receipt, the adjuster brought it up to $10k.

The thing is that whenever I look up “2020 Nissan Leaf 27,000 miles for sale,” these things are selling for between $12-15 grand. $10 grand doesn’t sound fair to me. They also offered to just pay $6k and let me keep the car and sell it myself. So I have three options:

1. Accept my losses and just accept the $10,000.
2. Accept the $6,000 and try to sell it for parts, hopefully for $7,000-9,000. I’ve never done this before though.
3. Keep fighting the insurance company, which is getting tiring.

What say you?

So I “totaled” my 2020 Nissan Leaf. By “totaled,” I mean I dinged up the left front. There’s a hole in the headlight, and the front wheels and axel are a bit misaligned. Thankfully nobody was hurt—I just hit a pole.

Liberty Mutual is offering me $10k for it. At first it was $9k, but when I informed them that it had a brand new battery and uploaded the receipt, the adjuster brought it up to $10k.

The thing is that whenever I look up “2020 Nissan Leaf 27,000 miles for sale,” these things are selling for between $12-15 grand. $10 grand doesn’t sound fair to me. They also offered to just pay $6k and let me keep the car and sell it myself. So I have three options:

1. Accept my losses and just accept the $10,000.
2. Accept the $6,000 and try to sell it for parts, hopefully for $7,000-9,000. I’ve never done this before though.
3. Keep fighting the insurance company, which is getting tiring.

What say you?

I’ve been on the market for a new car for about a month now. I totaled my 2020 Nissan Leaf after replacing the battery under warranty. Then, just my luck, I ran into a pole. It’s only got 27,000 miles on it, but considering the battery is brand new, it basically has 0 miles. When I look at 2020 Nissan Leaves for sale online, they’re selling for around 14,000 miles on them. My insurance only wants to pay me 10,000 miles for it. Yes, they know about the new battery. So I’ve been arguing with them about that.

So I do have a rental car at the moment to get around. The insurance company is paying part of the rent…but it’s past due. Meanwhile, I asked my stepdad to help me find a new car. I think that was a mistake because then he got my mom involved who is a bit…anxious by nature, if not controlling. We went on a couple trips to find a car. My stepdad was cool. My mom, not so much. All she did was say why NOT to buy this car. This one has too many miles on it. That one doesn’t have a backup camera. And so forth. And all this shit has just given me too much anxiety. Now I’m still in my rental. Probably paying more in rent than I’d get from my insurance!

I found a 2016 Toyota Prius that I really liked, but according to my mom, it isn’t worth it because it doesn’t have CarPlay, and it has too many miles on it (70,000, which I think is dang good for a decade old car).

Then there was a standard Toyota Corolla with only 4,000 miles on it, which is a great deal, but it was $24,000. My stepdad really liked that one.

So here are my requirements:

Under $20,000
Toyota, Honda, or Subaru
Hybrid

I don’t think that’s too much to ask for. Yeah, it’ll be a little old, but new cars are stupid anyway. They lose 10% of their value as soon as they drive off the lot. It’s a total waste of money. I don’t need all the fancy technology my mom loves. I’ll get used to it. Cars aren’t supposed to be computers. They’re supposed to get you from point A to point B. That’s the purpose of a car.

I want a car that will last me a long time. I know those three brands last the longest and are low maintenance.

I care about the environment. My Leaf was electric, which was nice, but turned out to be a lemon. The range was horrible, and on a cold night was only 40 miles. I got stranded because there were no EV chargers nearby. I refuse to go back to a regular, gasoline car, but EVs are tricky because there aren’t EV fast chargers on every corner like there are gas stations. And I like road trips. So I figure a hybrid is the perfect compromise.

I hate cars. I hate the petroleum industry. There’s only so much of it, and we’ll eventually run out, and the pollution it causes is horrible. If I could, I’d move somewhere like London or New York City where I wouldn’t even need a car…but all my loved ones are here, and those cities are expensive as hell.

I think my biggest problem was asking for help. I know asking for help isn’t bad in itself, but my family, while loving, is not helpful. They OVER-help, which makes me anxious and makes me freeze, causing me not to make a decision in the first place.

Anyway, that’s probably too much information, but if you made it this far, what kind of car should I buy? I work six days a week, and Tuesday is my only day off, so I’d like to get it over with the day after tomorrow and quit worrying about it.

I’ve been scouring the Internet for Kelai kava. I know it’s one of the headiest, or so I’ve heard, and I find it hard to find heady kavas. Heavy kava is all I can really find online. I get most of my kava from Kalm, and most of theirs are very heavy.

Whenever I search for Kelai kava, it’s sold out. What’s with this? Is it an endangered strain or something? Are there any good alternatives?

Howdy, folks! I just got part-timea job at a boot store selling boots. Mostly because my full-time job’s security is on the line, so I need a financial cushion in case I lose that job. I told some friends and acquaintances about it, and one said his boot store is hiring.

I finished my virtual training today finally. My coworker kept rushing me, saying that the training videos don’t actually teach you squat. Tonight was my first night actually selling boots (and cowboy hats and other western apparel). Then when I was actually selling, I was giving some kind of vague information and didn’t have all the right answers they were asking me.

He told me not to watch the training videos but then got onto me for not knowing the information! WTH?!

Anyway, I joined this group to learn more about cowboy boots. I already know a little. I’m not clueless—I actually own three pairs. I had about a two-year “cowboy phase” in my late teens. I even roped a calf on a dude ranch! Personally when it comes to western fashion, I’m more of a hat guy than a boot guy. But that phase was kind of short lived. I’m still a city slicker at heart.

I know how boots should fit, I know the different shapes, and I *somewhat* know about brands. The boots I wear are Ariats. I mostly just like how they look—truly western. One of my other coworkers showed me the different exotic skins like cayman, American alligator, stingray, etc. All of mine are leather, but since there’s an employee discount, I’m considering getting a pair of exotics.

So go on and tell me as much as you know about boots—particularly cowboy boots. I’m not sure what to ask—just tell me all the facts you’d want to know if someone were selling you your first pair of cowboy boots.

Okay, so this will probably be long, so bear with me. I’ll try to make it as short as possible.

Tuesday, three days ago, I had a Reclast infusion. Everything went fine.

Two nights ago, I ate a THC gummy. I’ve been taking these for a long time, and they never bother me. I fell asleep on the couch, woke up around 3am feeling sober, took another gummy, watched a bit of TV, and went to bed.

I woke up that afternoon at 5PM feeling HORRIBLE. It felt like I had the flu. Every muscle in my body felt sore. I wasn’t coughing or anything though. I couldn’t even get out of bed for about an hour…and then I forced myself to get up.

So then there’s today. I got up and went to work. I’m fully functional. But I have this mild pain in my chest. I’ve had chronic back pain for years due to a fracture that never fully healed. First I dismissed it as part of that. But this was different. I noticed when I moved my arms, there was a bit of muscle pain near my armpits, almost like I’d done a bunch of push-ups…even though I hadn’t. It’s almost like the chest discomfort was kind of radiating to my armpits/shoulders. I called up my PCP, and thankfully he had an opening this Monday, three days from today.

But now I’m concerned. I’ve been doing some googling. THC can cause panic attacks…and I have had a panic attack from smoking weed. That’s why I try to stick to edibles. This wasn’t a panic attack. Something happened overnight in my sleep. So then I thought maybe it wasn’t the THC gummy; it could be the infusion. Either way, the symptoms I’m experiencing sound very similar to a heart attack. I guess the doctor will tell me on Monday.

Could it be a combination? Do THC and Tymlos have a bad reaction?

I’m also on a bunch of anticonvulsants. My neurologist has…no opinion. When I tell him I eat THC gummies occasionally, he doesn’t say “no, you can’t do that” like he does with alcohol. He’s very adamant that I don’t drink. But when I mention the gummies, he just kind of gives me this judgmental “glare” and doesn’t say anything.

Anyway, I’m just a bit concerned about what to do in the mean time. My PCP appointment is in three days. I have to work every day between now and then. I considered going to an urgent care clinic, but the one near me is pretty crappy. They don’t have any equipment except a scale and blood pressure thing. They don’t even have an x-ray machine. So the time I went there for something completely different, they just said, “You should go to the ER.” Then I spent all day in the ER…and finally that night they sent me home saying nothing was wrong. So I’ve got a bad taste in my mouth about that urgent care clinic.

My other option would be just to go straight to the ER. I just don’t know if this is ER-worthy. It doesn’t seem like an emergency—I’m fully functional—but what if I actually am having a heart attack…or something even worse?

What is your advice, especially if you’re a physician or nurse? Should I wait until Monday to see my PCP or do something sooner before it’s too late?

My dad has two modes of “help,” and both are unsolicited 99% of the time:

1. Throw money at the problem, and it’ll go away.
2. Blow the problem out of proportion, drown himself in trying to help, and then get resentful if I’m not grateful.

#1 is pretty straightforward. I’ve been talking about it with my therapist. But #2 has been coming up more often lately. He’ll find out about one of my problems. I say “find out” because he either hears through the grapevine or I tell him just because he asks. For example, “How’s your car?”

“Not great.”

“No? Let me help you…”

And then the tornado comes. And the problem just gets worse the more he tries to “help.” He gets my mom—with whom he doesn’t live and whom he divorced when I was 3—involved. He CCs her on every e-mail he sends me. He puts all of his energy into this shit. He books a flight. He tells me what he’s going to do. If I politely decline or say “you don’t have to do this,” he responds passive-aggressively with “I’m only doing this for you.”

In all honestly, I don’t think he’s “only doing it for me.” He’s doing it so that he’ll feel better about himself. But he even got his personal assistant involved the last time this happened. He flew up with her, met up with me, my mom, and my stepdad and asked for everyone’s input.

Unfortunately, his “solutions” often don’t work. Mostly because we live in different eras. He’s a boomer and forgets that nobody sends snail mail or checks anymore. He refuses to text, and his cell service is bad, so most of our communication is by e-mail, which I rarely use. But he insists that I use it because “I do SOOOOOOO much for you, the least you can do is answer my e-mails!”

Every once in a blue moon, he’ll actually “solve” one of my problems. I put “solve” in quotes because I never saw it as a problem in the first place. But then if I don’t thank him, he loses his shit. “YOU’RE SO UNGRATEFUL!”

Sometimes he’ll cherry pick Bible verses and snail mail them to me. He’s not a Christian, but he knows I am, so he knows I’ll take anything from the Bible seriously. But I can tell he cherry picked them, and I’ve even seen him glue pieces of paper with the verse to another piece of paper. What???!

So basically, if I accept his unsolicited help, he holds it over my head as some sort of bait. Going back to the first example, he bought me a car several years ago…with the stipulations that I have to wash it by hand every month and send him a thank you card. Okay, whatever. New car. Yay. But then when I wrecked it, he was FURIOUS!

“I BOUGHT THAT CAR FOR YOU! You should be thankful, not go and wreck it!”

Okay…sorry I’m not a perfect driver? He takes everything personally.

He is so obsessed with gratitude, and if he doesn’t get it, he breaks down and has a hissy fit. Like if he hands me a Snickers bar, if I don’t bow down and weep about how thankful I am for this damn candy bar, I’m a horrible person and not worthy to be his son.

Anyway, I’ve about decided I’m going to stop accepting his unsolicited help when he offers it. Because if I accept it, it’ll cause more problems than I had in the first place.

When people talk about AI replacing jobs, I often hear that they’ll replace all white collar and desk jobs, including customer service. I do agree that it will replace (and already is replacing) a lot of “numbers” jobs like accounting and tech jobs like Web design, I don’t think it’ll ever replace customer service. While I’ve worked in customer service for over a decade and haven’t always enjoyed it, I feel there is an amount of job security in the field.

People say the only jobs immune to AI are blue collar jobs with lots of manual labor, I don’t think that’s true. Before AI was even a thing, the customer service industry has always been trying to use technology to solve customers’ problems without having to hire real people. The thing is that customers hated it and still do. Calling and having to press a certain number to hear a recording. The ones who really need what they need stay on the phone until they can FINALLY get to a real person. I’ve stayed on the phone for an hour just to get a real person.

This will continue to be the case. AI bots trying to help customers with their problems will just frustrate customers even more. People want to talk to people. If I need my taxes done, I’m okay using a machine for that. But if I actually need to talk to someone about the crappy service I got at a restaurant and want my money back, I’m not okay talking to a bot about that. A bot doesn’t know what actually happened and won’t talk to the server. I need human connection for that. Not to mention, people can tell when they’re talking to AI on the phone. It’s a bit easier to hide through text, but I’ve called customer support on the phone, and it’s so obvious. AI can’t replicate the human voice. It sounds so robotic, and it can’t listen well. The AI bot even called me “Rufus” for some reason.

Companies are trying to replace customer service workers with AI, but it isn’t working and will eventually backfire. Real customer service is here to stay.

I’ve been job hunting for a few months now due to a PIP my boss has put me (and 75% of the rest of the team) on, and it’s due to speed. All the other jobs I’ve been searching for mention “fast paced” in their descriptions or “multitasking” as a requirement. I can’t help but wonder if these companies think that makes the position actually desirable to job seekers like me. I guess I appreciate the honesty, but this is literally the reason I’m trying to quit my current job. We’re all on PIPs because we aren’t fast enough. No one can reach the unrealistic quotas. Quantity is more important than quality.

I’ve been in other “high paced” jobs, and they’ve been miserable. I don’t multitask, and psychological studies have actually proven that the human brain can’t multitask. Yet every job I’ve applied for has that as a requirement.

Contrary to these employers’ assumptions, not everyone wants to work their butts off every day, feel exhausted at the end of the day, crash when they get home, and get burnt out after working there for a month.

Stress is bad and unhealthy. I don’t know why these companies advertise this “fast paced” description as if it were something good or desirable to potential employees. The job I just applied for is VERY different than my current one, but during the interview, the manager said, “This is a very fast-paced job.” And then my heart sank.

I don’t work well under stress. It isn’t that I’m lazy, stupid, or don’t want to work. I just want to work at my own pace. I want to make sure that one project has been completed accurately before I move on to a new one, instead of zooming through 50 projects at a time with 200 small mistakes.

Do jobs that aren’t “fast paced” even exist? Can I just type “slow paced” in the job search?

On one hand, this ignorance annoys me. On the other hand, it gives me an opportunity to educate people about my passion. It’s a love-hate thing.

Some of the most famous jazz musicians throughout the genre’s century-long history have been vocalists. Ella Fitzgerald, Louis Armstrong*, Diana Krall, Mel Tormé, Billie Holiday, Cab Calloway, Calloway Brooks, Sarah Vaughan, Chet Baker*, and Nat King Cole**, just to name a few. And then there are the vocal groups like the Four Freshmen, New York Voices, the Manhattan Transfer, Take 6, Lambert, Hendricks & Ross, the Hi-Los, the Boswell Sisters, and the Real Group. When people tell me that “jazz is instrumental,” I give them these examples. Usually they’ve never even heard of the groups. When I mention the solo singers, I usually get something like “I never considered them jazz.”

Really? If Ella Fitzgerald wasn’t a jazz singer, I don’t know who was. She was the queen of vocal jazz with all of her scat skills.

So yeah, the ignorance is frustrating on a collective scale…but then on an individual scale, I’ll get into a conversation about jazz that ends up being enjoyable, and if I’m lucky, we’ll end up listening to some great music.

* Yes, I realize they were also instrumentalists too, but they’re also known for their unique singing voices.
** Yes, I know this one is controversial, but mostly because he started singing towards the end of the Jazz Age and started singing more pop music once the Swing Era was over.

The rules and metrics at my work are absolutely INSANE. I’m going to try to be as vague about my actual job for the sake of privacy/anonymity…but we all know what METRICS are, right? My job involves lots of cold calling. When we make these cold calls, we have to help the customers in very specific ways that are mostly out of our control and in the control of the customer. So let’s say for example that I call a customer, he/she answers, and then I schedule him/her for an interview. Cool. Then he/she comes in for an interview. Even better.

When I first started this job many moons ago, there was one goal. Get through the list. Touch every case every day. If we can’t call the customer, at least put a note on the account, and we’re good. I was very good at this. So much so that I opted for a higher paying role. I worked that job for a few months, realized it wasn’t the right fit, and went back to the old role. Not as much pay, but the higher paying role was just stressful, and I couldn’t handle it.

When I “demoted” myself to the old role, everything had changed. New management. Same software, but different “improvements.” Also, new schedules were offered, so I figured I’d try a new work schedule. Instead of five days a week of 8-hour shifts, there was an alternate option of four days a week of 10-hour shifts. And it paid slightly more. Not by much, but a bit. So I figured I’d check it out. A three-day weekend sounded nice.

One of my former coworkers from when I first started at the company had become a supervisor. I was assigned under her. Okay, I figured that was cool since we already knew each other. She obviously wouldn’t be as good as my first supervisor because he was fantastic and couldn’t be beat. But at least we knew each other. Her supervisor/the team manager I’d never met before.

Anyway, things had changed. A LOT. The four day work week was a remote position, which was part of the appeal for me. Everything was much more strict. Instead of being measured by how many cases we touched per day, we were measured by that…plus more. Also how many interviews that were actually scheduled. Some types of interviews gave us a higher score than others. And if the customer missed an interview? Guess what? That doesn’t count. It reflects badly on us, as if we hadn’t scheduled it in the first place.

I got written up several times because my metrics weren’t high enough. At first I was worried. Was I going to be fired? But then I started paying attention to my coworkers’ scores. Our boss sends out a team metrics e-mail twice a day to show everyone’s metrics. We are on a team of ten. There are two of us who regularly meet all the metrics. Nobody else does. So I realized this isn’t a “me” problem. The 80% of us who also aren’t meeting our metrics are also on some sort of disciplinary action like a verbal or written warning or PIP. And it’s not like our boss can fire 80% of the team! So I’m not quite so worried about getting fired anymore.

The problem is that most of these metrics are OUT OF OUR FUCKING CONTROL! Yes, I can call 50 people per day. I’m quite good at it. But if 90% of them don’t answer their phone or it goes to voicemail, I’m penalized for that. WHY? How is that MY problem? Oh, so I didn’t schedule 50 interviews? Fine, but I called 50 people…but what am I supposed to do? Go bang on their door and force them to go to the interview?

Oh, and don’t forget, half of them think we’re scammers. These calls can take 20 minutes just to convince them we aren’t trying to steal their money. And frankly I don’t mind. I can understand that. But what I can’t stand is how this reflects badly on US. How is it my fault that the customer saw a 1-800 number and assumed I’m a bot?

Here’s the worst of it all. I think I’d be doing better in my original setting. Working my original schedule—five days a week, Monday-Friday. Having to start work at 7:00 and get off at 5:30 is just exhausting, even with the three day weekend. I’m not a morning person, and by 2:00 I’m exhausted and ready to go home…but the day is barely half over. Here’s the thing. Some who switched to the four day schedule managed to switch back. No problem. A lot of coworkers would switch with each other. The four-dayers like me who couldn’t stand the long hours switched with their five-day coworkers, and management was totally okay with it. But me? Nope. They said I can’t do that. I’m an exception. What was their reasoning?

Because I started under different management, then got that promotion, and then went back to my original position. So the fact that I actually moved up in the company is a bad thing. They’re punishing me for that by not letting me go back to my original schedule. Maybe they thought I “abandoned” them or something?

These metrics are not realistic. I told my manager. She said, “Yes they are. Jill and Jan are hitting them.” Well yeah, they are. But they are literally the ONLY TWO PEOPLE hitting them. Maybe unrealistic isn’t the right word. More like unreasonable. When you have 80% of your employees on disciplinary action, that’s a MANAGEMENT problem, not an employee problem. And the two people actually hitting these metrics? I can’t help but wonder if they’re somehow cheating or cutting corners to meet these seemingly impossible standards. Again, I CAN’T CONTROL whether someone answers their phone. All I can do is make the calls. And that’s the one metric I’m hitting. “Total calls” is the one and only metric in which I’m actually the top performer. On everything else, I’m average or sometimes even below average.

I know Reddit isn’t a replacement for actual medical advice, but I don’t have my next physical until October. This isn’t *urgent* per se, but it is affecting my daily life. I’m not sure if chronic fatigue is more of a physical or mental health issue. It is affecting my work. It’s also affecting just my everyday life. I have no desire to do any physical activity. I don’t mean just the gym. I mean fun stuff I used to like like dancing. I’ve also noticed over the last week that after work, I just crash in bed. I don’t eat dinner. I’m not hungry. I don’t even want to cook, which I usually enjoy. I don’t want to go and do hobbies. I just come home and crash at 6:00. Sometimes I set a 20 minute alarm so that it’ll just be a nap…but I usually sleep through that. I end up waking up around midnight, realizing my nap turned into more like a full night’s sleep. But what am I going to do at midnight, especially if I have to work again the next morning? So I might get up, watch a 15-minute YouTube video, and then go back to bed.

I wake up on time, but then half way through the work day, I’m exhausted again. I work from home, so I can kind of get away with sleeping on the job. I shouldn’t. My employment is actually in jeopardy…for different reasons. But I just can’t stay awake and productive for ten hours a day.

I don’t know if I should just wait six months until I can see my PCP or look for some sort of sleep doctor or something. Or maybe just talk to my therapist about it…I’m supposed to see him in a month. Hopefully I’ll still have a job by then.

What are your thoughts?