u/Capital_Progress_390

I’m honestly not sure if my frustration is with Frank himself or just his listeners/fans…let me explain.

I fucking love jazz. It’s probably the one thing I love most next to God. I can’t say I love my wife and kids more because I don’t have either. So yeah, jazz is my second favorite thing in the world. Which is why I get frustrated when people who aren’t super into jazz hear a song title like “It’s All Right with Me” or “Desafinado” and ask, “Oh, that Frank Sinatra song?”

Yes…those were Frank Sinatra songs; you’re technically correct. However, they were jazz songs by Cole Porter and Antonio Carlos Jobim much earlier. Frank just covered them in a much more pop and “for the masses” style.

The more I think about it, I don’t really blame Sinatra OR his audience…I’m not sure where to place the blame. He was great at covering songs. That’s a true talent. But I can’t blame his audience either because jazz is kind of a niche genre that lots of people just can’t get into…but everyone likes Frank Sinatra, so people automatically gravitate towards his songs. It’s frustrating. 90% of people don’t know who Cole Porter and Antonio Carlos Jobim…but everyone knows who Frank Sinatra is. So of course they’re going to think that these jazz standards were originally Frank Sinatra tunes…because that’s all they’ve heard.

If only his albums had listed/credited the original musicians by the song titles, and maybe if he’d mentioned them during his live performances, people would know.

He’s kind of like the Michael Bublé of the 20th century. Only in this case, I prefer his original songs like “My Way” and “New York, New York” over his watered down jazz covers, but the other way around with Michael.

Frank Sinatra was an extremely talented musician, no doubt, but he’s quite overrated in my opinion. And while I don’t think it was intentional, he kind of took away some of the glory from the original musicians. I think part of that may be because of the era we’re living in now. When he originally sang “It’s All Right with Me” in the 1950s, I would assume more of his audience had heard Cole Porter’s and/or Ella Fitzgerald’s version because it was more recent. Now that it’s the 21st century, people have only heard Sinatra’s version.

But that begs the question…why did his become more popular now? Just because it’s more recent or because people just don’t like jazz anymore?

Give me your thoughts, and don’t hate on me for disliking Frank Sinatra. I don’t dislike him; I just dislike how his modern fans receive his music. I love his original tunes.

Milk started bothering my digestive system maybe five years ago. I went to my doctor, and he said I’m probably lactose intolerant, and drinking Lactaid milk and/or goat milk should fix it. That seemed to work at first, but the Lactaid milk has been bothering me lately. Goat milk does not (yet). There’s really no consistency. I can’t predict it. One day I’ll drink some milk, and it won’t bother me at all. The next day it’ll give me explosive diarrhea! But the Lactaid bothering me is pretty recent. I just made myself an espresso latte today using Lactaid, and now I’m super bloated.

Any idea what’s going on?

I’m 37 and only been in two exclusive relationships. My last relationship was…seven (?) years ago? I can’t even remember. I’ve been single for so long.

One thing I often hear is that women want men who are ambitious. I’m not ugly or poor, but I do lack ambition…and I have really no desire to be ambitious. If I started trying to be ambitious, it would only be for the sake of attracting a woman. I don’t want to be rich* or famous.

People say I should “work on myself.” Why? I like where I live. I like my boring job. It would be nice to get paid a little more, but it’s remote, my boss is cool, and I get to help people. It isn’t exciting, and I’m not changing lives, but that’s why I like it.

I don’t have many friends, but the ones I do have are high quality. My two best friends are guys I went to school with, and we have great memories together. And I have some other friends/acquaintances from church.

I don’t want to be a doctor or lawyer. I don’t want to be a CEO—that just sounds stressful. I don’t want to be “successful.” I just want to be acceptable.

But women don’t want this. They want someone who has DRIVE. I have no drive. And maybe that’s the problem? I don’t have enough drive to get a girlfriend. Am I just doomed to be single all my life?

* Okay, rich would be nice for the sake of financial stability and security, but even if I were rich, I wouldn’t buy a mansion, sports car, or fancy jewelry. That would just attract gold diggers and the wrong type of “friends” who are just there to ask you for money. I’d put the money in a savings account that I could use to go to Fiji for a year if I wanted. I definitely don’t want to be famous though.

As a bit of a background, I work a healthcare job that requires me to be on the phone 90% of the time, so I probably notice this kind of thing more than the average Joe. There are two instances when this happens.

The first one we all see, anyone who’s ever talked on the phone. You call someone, they answer, and then they say, “I can’t talk now, can you call back later?” Okay, if you can’t talk, that’s understandable…but if that’s the case, why did you bother answering? Have you heard of this thing called voice mail? It’s existed for about 50 years and serves that exact purpose. If you can’t talk, just don’t answer the phone, and you can leave a message! Crazy, right? And even if you don’t use voice mail, I’ll still call back later. It’s part of my job. Answering the phone if you can’t talk wastes both of our time. If you can’t talk, then DON’T. It’s that simple. You don’t need to inform me of your unavailability.

Then there’s the second thing that’s more specific to my job, so you may not have experienced it. “Answering services.” I often have to call a doctor’s office to help a patient get an appointment. If the office is “closed,” I’ll call and the “answering service” answers.

“Answering service, this is Kim.”

“Hi Kim, I need to schedule an appointment with Dr. K.”

“I’m sorry, the office is closed, please call back Monday.”

Okay, so if the office is closed, and you can’t help me, WHY DO YOU EXIST? Why do doctors waste money on these “answering services” to answer and then do nothing but tell me to call back later? Just because people need a job? Just set up a voice mail! At least then, I can leave a message that you can listen to the next day and call back when you’re open.

Modern phone etiquette—either answer the phone and have a fruitful conversation, or if you’re busy or don’t feel like it, don’t answer. Two simple options. There is no third option. “Answer and say to call back” is NOT an option! Or at least it shouldn’t be. It’s pointless and a waste of time (and sometimes even money) for both parties.

I’m not partisan. I don’t care if the next governor is a Democrat or a Republican. I just don’t want one of the most corrupt politicians in charge of our state. My thought is to vote Republican in the primary. Then I’ll probably vote Democrat during the main election. Do you think that’s a good strategy? Which Republican candidate is most realistically able to beat Blackburn—Rose or Fritts? Or would it be a more effective strategy simply to vote for a Democrat in both elections?

I’m going to a vocal jazz workshop/masterclass, and I was asked to prepare two jazz songs of “contrasting styles.” I know what I want the first song to be—“Better Than Anything” by Al Jarreau. I know that song better than probably any other jazz tune. The second song is more of a challenge. I’ve really been thinking about “Stitched Up” by Herbie Hancock and John Mayer. It’s probably my favorite Herbie song…and John Mayer song too, although I don’t listen to him as often. Anyway, my biggest hesitation is whether they’re “contrasting styles.” The example given was a swing song and a bossa nova song. Are “Better Than Anything” and “Stitched Up” contrasting styles? I’d consider “Stitched Up” to be jazz-funk, but I’m not sure what style “Better Than Anything” would be considered.

One alternative to “Stitched Up” I considered was “Stardust,” but I recently found out someone else was doing that one, so I don’t want to double up. I also considered “The Girl From Ipanema” with the Portuguese lyrics, but I don’t have time to learn the lyrics and pronunciation. There’s also “How High the Moon” by Ella Fitzgerald. I kinda-sorta know that one, but it’s been a long time since I’ve sung it, and while I love the song, I hate singing the very end. The “moo-oo-oo-oon” is just very…I dunno. Soprano? Feminine? I’m a guy who sings baritone.

Anyway, what do y’all think? Is “Stitched Up” a different style than “Better Than Anything?” What jazz sub-genre would you consider the latter? I know both songs well. The others, I would need to do some significant practice before the workshop, and I’ve only got just over a week to prepare.

The USA has tried permanent Daylight Saving Time twice—once in the 1940s and again in the 1970s. It failed both times, and people hated it. My question is why haven’t we ever tried the opposite—abolishing DST altogether and going to permanent standard time?

The USA has tried permanent Daylight Saving Time twice—once in the 1940s and again in the 1970s. It failed both times, and people hated it. My question is why haven’t we ever tried the opposite—abolishing DST altogether and going to permanent standard time?

One thing that really frustrates me is the fact that most social behaviors are perceived as either polite or rude. It’s very dualistic/black and white. There’s no neutral option.

For example, holding the door for someone is seen as polite. Not holding it is seen as rude. However, my socially awkward brain sees it differently. I agree that holding the door is polite. Where I differ is that I don’t think that any other option is necessarily rude. Now if someone actively slammed the door in my face, THAT would be rude. Holding it open is polite. Slamming it is rude. But doing neither—simply entering the building like normal—is neutral. But most “normal” people don’t see it that way. Everything is either polite or rude. There is no middle ground.

Another example. If I get a gift, no matter how big or small it is, I’m expected to say “thank you.” While I agree that thanking people is a polite thing to do, I don’t see why failing to do so is necessarily rude. This gets even more awkward when it’s not a physical/financial gift but something more subtle like a compliment. Let’s go back to the door example.

If someone holds the door open for me. I’m expected to say “thank you.” If I say it, I’m being polite. If I say nothing, according to the International Council of Unwritten Rules, I’m being rude. In my mind, if I say thank you, I’m being polite. If I say “f*ck you,” I’m being rude. But if I say nothing at all, that’s completely neutral. I’m neither respecting nor disrespecting you. I’m just going on about my day, and you’re welcome to do the same.

I’m reaching middle age. My parents taught me all the manners/etiquette rules, but I never understood them, so I still don’t always follow them. Sometimes I just don’t want to be noticed. I don’t want to be perceived as a rude person, but I also don’t want to be perceived as a polite person. I just want to be ignored so that I can go on about my day without being praised or chastised. I don’t want a ten minute interaction with a stranger, positive or negative.

I guess this was more of a rant than anything, but are there any truly neutral social behaviors? Ones that are neither polite nor rude, but just…are?

I don’t need the full sheet music, just a lead sheet for a rhythm section to improvise off of. I’ll be singing, and there will be a piano, bass, and drums. I’ve found a few online, but they’re not very accurate. I’m singing the Al Jarreau version, and there’s a bridge—“Elephants dancing, clowns on parade”—right after the first two verses with a modal shift/key change for four bars. Then at “rides on the midway,” it moves back to the original key. The only other difference is that the first verse has different lyrics, but I can easily fix that just by crossing them out.

It also needs to be in Al’s original key. Is there anywhere I can find this sheet, or could someone write it for me?

I don’t need the full sheet music, just a lead sheet for a rhythm section to improvise off of. I’ll be singing, and there will be a piano, bass, and drums. I’ve found a few online, but they’re not very accurate. I’m singing the Al Jarreau version, and there’s a bridge—“Elephants dancing, clowns on parade”—right after the first two verses with a modal shift/key change for four bars. Then at “rides on the midway,” it moves back to the original key. The only other difference is that the first verse has different lyrics, but I can easily fix that just by crossing them out.

It also needs to be in Al’s original key. Is there anywhere I can find this sheet, or could someone write it for me?

I’ve found this second generation Prius at a used car dealership. It’s just $11,000 for a 2014. I have decision anxiety. I came in late today to test drive and hopefully buy the car, but before buying, I wanted to be sure the battery had been replaced at some point. From the research I’ve done, Prius batteries last about a decade, and this is an eight year old car. It’s got just over 100,000 miles on it. So if this car still has the original battery in it, this is obviously a no-go. But if the battery has been replaced or repaired recently, it’s a great deal.

Apparently the service department is out until MONDAY. I’m in an expensive rental car right now. I work every day (including weekends). I don’t have time to deal with this shit. I need a new car because my old one is totaled. I’m still working on the insurance claim.

For some background, my last car was a Nissan Leaf. The battery died on me at just 27,000 miles! So I’m sure you can understand why the battery age is such an important factor in my decision. I need to know this before I buy that car. But I also have amassed hundreds of dollars on this fucking rental, and it’s only going to get worse between now and Monday. What would you do?

Sales is open tomorrow, but not services BTW. It’s stupid.

Or for that matter, even more liberal? Having no income taxes is cool and all, but Marsha Blackburn is one of the most corrupt politicians alive today, and if she becomes governor, I just might have to leave. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a Democrat, but when I found out about the THCA and kratom bans that she successfully pushed, I was outraged. The whole kratom mass phobia largely started with the synthetic 7-OH shots, or “gas station heroin” as it’s often called, being sold. 7-OH is an addictive substance found in kratom, so people started fearing kratom altogether, even though it’s been consumed as a tea in SE Asia for centuries. Then when Matthew Davenport died of a so-called “kratom overdose,” which isn’t a thing BTW, it was the perfect chance to ban kratom. Matthew likely died of a Benadryl overdose if you look at the autopsy. Kratom was in his blood, but along with many other drugs.

And then there was the THCA ban along with that. We all know THC is not physically addictive, and no one has ever died from it. But Mrs. Bitchburn wanted to ban that too. Now the only recreational substance left is alcohol, which is more deadly than THC and kratom combined. People die from alcohol poisoning every day, but nobody’s got a problem with that. After all, Tennessee produces Jack Daniel’s whiskey, and Nashville is defined by honky tonks and pedal taverns! But when safer (not completely safe, but a lot better than chugging a bottle of Jack) substances come on the market, they have to ban those! Thanks, alcohol lobby!

What’s next, caffeine? If Marsha becomes governor, she’ll probably ban coffee because one person died from taking a caffeine pill 20 years ago.

Anyway, enough venting. How can I as a voter help make Tennessee more tolerant when it comes to these and similar substances? People who are truly addicted will just go to another state to get them. I know the primary is soon. Which Republican candidate is the most libertarian on issues like this? Since Tennessee is so red, I feel like it would be more wise to vote in the Republican primary instead of the Democratic one. Obviously not Blackburn. Then when it comes to the main election, the Republican candidate won’t be so radically conservative, and I can just vote Republican. Or maybe I’ll just vote Democrat. I just don’t think that’s realistic in a state like Tennessee.

What do you think is the wisest move here?

So I “totaled” my 2020 Nissan Leaf. By “totaled,” I mean I dinged up the left front. There’s a hole in the headlight, and the front wheels and axel are a bit misaligned. Thankfully nobody was hurt—I just hit a pole.

Liberty Mutual is offering me $10k for it. At first it was $9k, but when I informed them that it had a brand new battery and uploaded the receipt, the adjuster brought it up to $10k.

The thing is that whenever I look up “2020 Nissan Leaf 27,000 miles for sale,” these things are selling for between $12-15 grand. $10 grand doesn’t sound fair to me. They also offered to just pay $6k and let me keep the car and sell it myself. So I have three options:

1. Accept my losses and just accept the $10,000.
2. Accept the $6,000 and try to sell it for parts, hopefully for $7,000-9,000. I’ve never done this before though.
3. Keep fighting the insurance company, which is getting tiring.

What say you?

So I “totaled” my 2020 Nissan Leaf. By “totaled,” I mean I dinged up the left front. There’s a hole in the headlight, and the front wheels and axel are a bit misaligned. Thankfully nobody was hurt—I just hit a pole.

Liberty Mutual is offering me $10k for it. At first it was $9k, but when I informed them that it had a brand new battery and uploaded the receipt, the adjuster brought it up to $10k.

The thing is that whenever I look up “2020 Nissan Leaf 27,000 miles for sale,” these things are selling for between $12-15 grand. $10 grand doesn’t sound fair to me. They also offered to just pay $6k and let me keep the car and sell it myself. So I have three options:

1. Accept my losses and just accept the $10,000.
2. Accept the $6,000 and try to sell it for parts, hopefully for $7,000-9,000. I’ve never done this before though.
3. Keep fighting the insurance company, which is getting tiring.

What say you?

I’ve been on the market for a new car for about a month now. I totaled my 2020 Nissan Leaf after replacing the battery under warranty. Then, just my luck, I ran into a pole. It’s only got 27,000 miles on it, but considering the battery is brand new, it basically has 0 miles. When I look at 2020 Nissan Leaves for sale online, they’re selling for around 14,000 miles on them. My insurance only wants to pay me 10,000 miles for it. Yes, they know about the new battery. So I’ve been arguing with them about that.

So I do have a rental car at the moment to get around. The insurance company is paying part of the rent…but it’s past due. Meanwhile, I asked my stepdad to help me find a new car. I think that was a mistake because then he got my mom involved who is a bit…anxious by nature, if not controlling. We went on a couple trips to find a car. My stepdad was cool. My mom, not so much. All she did was say why NOT to buy this car. This one has too many miles on it. That one doesn’t have a backup camera. And so forth. And all this shit has just given me too much anxiety. Now I’m still in my rental. Probably paying more in rent than I’d get from my insurance!

I found a 2016 Toyota Prius that I really liked, but according to my mom, it isn’t worth it because it doesn’t have CarPlay, and it has too many miles on it (70,000, which I think is dang good for a decade old car).

Then there was a standard Toyota Corolla with only 4,000 miles on it, which is a great deal, but it was $24,000. My stepdad really liked that one.

So here are my requirements:

Under $20,000
Toyota, Honda, or Subaru
Hybrid

I don’t think that’s too much to ask for. Yeah, it’ll be a little old, but new cars are stupid anyway. They lose 10% of their value as soon as they drive off the lot. It’s a total waste of money. I don’t need all the fancy technology my mom loves. I’ll get used to it. Cars aren’t supposed to be computers. They’re supposed to get you from point A to point B. That’s the purpose of a car.

I want a car that will last me a long time. I know those three brands last the longest and are low maintenance.

I care about the environment. My Leaf was electric, which was nice, but turned out to be a lemon. The range was horrible, and on a cold night was only 40 miles. I got stranded because there were no EV chargers nearby. I refuse to go back to a regular, gasoline car, but EVs are tricky because there aren’t EV fast chargers on every corner like there are gas stations. And I like road trips. So I figure a hybrid is the perfect compromise.

I hate cars. I hate the petroleum industry. There’s only so much of it, and we’ll eventually run out, and the pollution it causes is horrible. If I could, I’d move somewhere like London or New York City where I wouldn’t even need a car…but all my loved ones are here, and those cities are expensive as hell.

I think my biggest problem was asking for help. I know asking for help isn’t bad in itself, but my family, while loving, is not helpful. They OVER-help, which makes me anxious and makes me freeze, causing me not to make a decision in the first place.

Anyway, that’s probably too much information, but if you made it this far, what kind of car should I buy? I work six days a week, and Tuesday is my only day off, so I’d like to get it over with the day after tomorrow and quit worrying about it.

I’ve been scouring the Internet for Kelai kava. I know it’s one of the headiest, or so I’ve heard, and I find it hard to find heady kavas. Heavy kava is all I can really find online. I get most of my kava from Kalm, and most of theirs are very heavy.

Whenever I search for Kelai kava, it’s sold out. What’s with this? Is it an endangered strain or something? Are there any good alternatives?

Howdy, folks! I just got part-timea job at a boot store selling boots. Mostly because my full-time job’s security is on the line, so I need a financial cushion in case I lose that job. I told some friends and acquaintances about it, and one said his boot store is hiring.

I finished my virtual training today finally. My coworker kept rushing me, saying that the training videos don’t actually teach you squat. Tonight was my first night actually selling boots (and cowboy hats and other western apparel). Then when I was actually selling, I was giving some kind of vague information and didn’t have all the right answers they were asking me.

He told me not to watch the training videos but then got onto me for not knowing the information! WTH?!

Anyway, I joined this group to learn more about cowboy boots. I already know a little. I’m not clueless—I actually own three pairs. I had about a two-year “cowboy phase” in my late teens. I even roped a calf on a dude ranch! Personally when it comes to western fashion, I’m more of a hat guy than a boot guy. But that phase was kind of short lived. I’m still a city slicker at heart.

I know how boots should fit, I know the different shapes, and I *somewhat* know about brands. The boots I wear are Ariats. I mostly just like how they look—truly western. One of my other coworkers showed me the different exotic skins like cayman, American alligator, stingray, etc. All of mine are leather, but since there’s an employee discount, I’m considering getting a pair of exotics.

So go on and tell me as much as you know about boots—particularly cowboy boots. I’m not sure what to ask—just tell me all the facts you’d want to know if someone were selling you your first pair of cowboy boots.

Okay, so this will probably be long, so bear with me. I’ll try to make it as short as possible.

Tuesday, three days ago, I had a Reclast infusion. Everything went fine.

Two nights ago, I ate a THC gummy. I’ve been taking these for a long time, and they never bother me. I fell asleep on the couch, woke up around 3am feeling sober, took another gummy, watched a bit of TV, and went to bed.

I woke up that afternoon at 5PM feeling HORRIBLE. It felt like I had the flu. Every muscle in my body felt sore. I wasn’t coughing or anything though. I couldn’t even get out of bed for about an hour…and then I forced myself to get up.

So then there’s today. I got up and went to work. I’m fully functional. But I have this mild pain in my chest. I’ve had chronic back pain for years due to a fracture that never fully healed. First I dismissed it as part of that. But this was different. I noticed when I moved my arms, there was a bit of muscle pain near my armpits, almost like I’d done a bunch of push-ups…even though I hadn’t. It’s almost like the chest discomfort was kind of radiating to my armpits/shoulders. I called up my PCP, and thankfully he had an opening this Monday, three days from today.

But now I’m concerned. I’ve been doing some googling. THC can cause panic attacks…and I have had a panic attack from smoking weed. That’s why I try to stick to edibles. This wasn’t a panic attack. Something happened overnight in my sleep. So then I thought maybe it wasn’t the THC gummy; it could be the infusion. Either way, the symptoms I’m experiencing sound very similar to a heart attack. I guess the doctor will tell me on Monday.

Could it be a combination? Do THC and Tymlos have a bad reaction?

I’m also on a bunch of anticonvulsants. My neurologist has…no opinion. When I tell him I eat THC gummies occasionally, he doesn’t say “no, you can’t do that” like he does with alcohol. He’s very adamant that I don’t drink. But when I mention the gummies, he just kind of gives me this judgmental “glare” and doesn’t say anything.

Anyway, I’m just a bit concerned about what to do in the mean time. My PCP appointment is in three days. I have to work every day between now and then. I considered going to an urgent care clinic, but the one near me is pretty crappy. They don’t have any equipment except a scale and blood pressure thing. They don’t even have an x-ray machine. So the time I went there for something completely different, they just said, “You should go to the ER.” Then I spent all day in the ER…and finally that night they sent me home saying nothing was wrong. So I’ve got a bad taste in my mouth about that urgent care clinic.

My other option would be just to go straight to the ER. I just don’t know if this is ER-worthy. It doesn’t seem like an emergency—I’m fully functional—but what if I actually am having a heart attack…or something even worse?

What is your advice, especially if you’re a physician or nurse? Should I wait until Monday to see my PCP or do something sooner before it’s too late?