r/jazzcirclejerk

I just learned of the note "G" today, trying to find some tunes to explore further. No transposition, please, only real "G".

need tunes like “all the things you aren’t” and “there WILL be another you”

Is that you only need one finger in your right hand

But at least two in your left hand

So John Coltrane walks into a cafe and sits down at a table. The waiter comes up and asks him if he's ready to order. John Coltrane whips out a saxophone and just fucking goes at it, like, a wildest three-minute solo you've ever heard, avant-garde as hell and unrepeatable for sure. When he's done, he just sits there silently.

The waiter goes, "Uhm, sir, that was wonderful, but I am here to take your order". John Coltrane picks up the sax once again and plays the same solo, note for note, this time maintaining eye contact with the waiter throughout the whole thing. Then he just nods at the waiter and waves him away.

The poor guy doesn't know what to do. There's this legendary jazz hero sitting at his cafe, and he has no idea what he wants. So the waiter just brings out anything he can think of — salt peanuts, cornbread, a huge piece of meat (sadly they ran out of potatoes just that morning), a plate of butter to smooth things out.

And Trane, he just fucking devours it. Green onions — gone, frim-fram sauce with shifafa on the side — gone. It's like he's been down and out and hadn't have a thing to eat in years. He's having a feast, man. There's a look of bliss on his face, as if he's having some revelation about some higher power that speaks to him through all this food, man.

So, he's almost finished, and the waiter comes up with a jar of the blackest, strongest coffee they have. John Coltrane pours himself a little, takes a sip and then pauses, as if he's contemplating something. After a minute, he turns to the waiter and says:

— I'd love some cream.

Sure his musical talent may be good but he does nothing original and nothing fun, and everything is rehearsed and well-planned but he acts as if it‘s ”made up on the spot”. He pisses me off.