u/CardiologistUpper449

Perhaps the most common sentiment I see here is that a bisexual man is almost exclusively romantically attracted to women, but strongly prefers men for sex.

I wonder if there's anyone of the exact opposite orientation, where you're more sexually attracted to women but connect with men more emotionally. I'd like to know how your relationships have panned out with that orientation.

1. How old are you now, and at what age did you realize you're bi?
2. Did you ever try to convince yourself that you're straight by dating women?
3. Why haven't you tried anything with a man yet?
4. What might finally push you to try?
5. How would you feel if you live the rest of your life without trying?
6. Edit: where would you identify yourself on the Kinsey scale?

Hi everyone, I broke up with my ex of 3 months (thankfully not longer than that) a while ago, and I'd really appreciate your insight on whether I was his beard or not.

These are the main signs that felt off to me.

On his sexual orientation:

• He told me that he's bisexual, but has never experimented with men despite being comfortably out to his family/friends and never grew up religious. I asked why. He explained to me that he doesn't use dating apps and is very picky with men. He's ONLY attracted to men who look like him. He has 4 close male friends and they all look similar to him (slim, brown haired, white). His friends are supposedly straight.
• His dating history before me consists of one long-ish term (1 year) girlfriend, a short term (2 months) girlfriend, and a hookup with a girl at a frat party.
• He told me he does masturbate to imaginations of men from time to time, but claims he fantasizes about women more often.
• He had crushes on two boys – one in middle school and one in high school. The crushes never turned into anything because he feared getting bullied over it in middle school (I suspect that may have subconsciously influenced him into being inclined to pursue women) and his high school crush was straight. He claims that ever since then, he's not had any particular crushes on guys (he's 23).

On our sex life:

• He doesn't enjoy anything stereotypically gay like anal or crossdressing. However, he's persistent about shaving ALL of his body hair because he wants to look like a twink. Again, he finds his own features very sexually attractive.
• He doesn't seem to struggle with getting aroused by me, but he prefers sex with the lights off.
• He doesn't enjoy missionary sex in general because he feels like he'd "do all the work." This doesn't bother me because I love pleasing and I also don't enjoy getting my vagina eaten out or fingered. However, he never actively pursued effort into figuring out how to please me. This honestly was not a deal breaker for me, but the way he treated me outside of our sex life (see next section) after all my efforts made me feel terrible.

On our relationship:

• The first red flag was that, within a few weeks of dating, he told a mutual colleague that I'm his girlfriend instead of properly asking me first. Apparently, our colleague's acknowledgement was a priority over mine.
• As soon as we became "official," he'd ONLY text me a couple times a week for the purpose of planning dates. I expressed that I wish he'd text me at least ONCE a day, but apparently that was too much for him.
• In general, he expressed minimal to no interest in who I am as a person. He ONLY wanted to see me for a bit over weekends when his mind is 100% free of work. He expressed that he sees me as "...a break from work." Meaning, he more or less only saw me as a means to relaxation. He didn't want to deal with me when he has ANY amount of stress.
• He introduced me to his buddies on our very first date and acts SUPER touchy and sweet when we're in front of them. But when we are alone and not having sex, he acts rather dismissive with me.
• He comes from a very wealthy family (and he knows that I do not), but he's incredibly stingy with accommodating me. Over the course of our dating, I've definitely spent more money on him than he has on me. The last time I visited his home, he told me he has no food for me but cooked for himself. He's never reciprocated my efforts in bringing him food.

What drove us to break up sooner than later was the sudden death of someone extremely important to me, which gave me a nervous breakdown. I wanted to seek emotional support from him and asked if I can call him several nights a week to help ease my mind. He told me that calling me on weeknights would annoy him.

When we finally broke up, he told me that, despite his acknowledgement that I've invested more care and effort into his wellbeing than his other friends or exes, he is confident that he could feel the same love we shared with someone else. I was so shocked. How could he acknowledge my efforts relative to others and at the same time, deem me as replaceable?

I believe that he's either incapable of romantically attaching himself to women (so he'd be homoromantic), or he's simply a narcissist who is incapable of becoming romantically attached to anyone. I am actually inclined to believe he's the former case because he'd probably be more capable of appreciating a man who looks like him... what do you think? Any insight would be greatly appreciated.

I'm just curious because some of you might generally lean towards one gender, but would fully swing the other way if a 10/10 version of the other gender appears.

I personally tend to lean more towards men but if my dream woman came along... I'd only have eyes for her.

I have this buddy who's 23 years old and has identified as bi since his early teen years. He's had relationships with 3 women in the past (plus 1 accidental one-night-stand at a frat party) and has recently started a new relationship with another woman. No sexual history with dudes whatsoever.

I asked him why he hasn't experimented with dudes. He says it's because he's picky with men (only finds twinks attractive), doesn't do casual hookups, and is simply more likely to date girls just because of numbers.

Under most circumstances this is a sound argument, but this guy grew up in San Francisco and went to a prestigious university in the West Coast. He's pretty good looking (tall and rather effeminate) himself, so it's very hard to believe that he never encountered a twink who wanted a relationship with him.

He's also not closeted in the slightest. His parents are both very pro LGBTQ+, so he's under 0 pressure to act straight for the sake of family pressure. I then asked him how he knows he's bi if he's never felt the need to experiment. He said he jerks off to men occasionally ever since he reached puberty, but is not interested in anal (either giving or receiving).

He said that if he's single and "the right guy" came along, he'd want a relationship with him. But I just find it hard to believe that under his circumstances, the male pickings are as slim as he claims them to be.

What do you think? Do you think that this guy is truly bisexual, or is he closer to a heteroflexible who exaggerates his homosexual attractions?