u/CarefulTransition988

Admittedly I wrote a complicated research paper that was ambitious. I was trying to bridge corrosion performance with dielectric properties of a unique composite lubricant.

This was novel in many ways, but yeah it was quite loaded. I tried to over explain myself to make my points thoroughly come across. I tried my level best to juggle the multiple variables in an artful and pragmatic way.

Anyways we've went back and forth with my revised drafts about 7 times. Each time we've been nicking, tucking, and performing intellectual microsurgery on the manuscript. But after version 6, we basically decided that trashing the latter half is the way to go. Conclusively I'll have to rewrite the paper.

I don't feel anything towards this paper anymore. I can't recognize it. Everything that made me feel on fire while writing it is gone. The crux and creativity of this paper have been pasteurized.

Christ.. if you even wait an hour after the sign up email then every appointment slot will be full. I'm so frustrated. My salary has decreased as a PhD student and i moved out to an apartment with a slightly higher rent. I want some assistance with groceries.

I am a third year PhD student in materials engineering in a small Texas town. I am 27 and gay. I have had a rough experience thus far. I had to leave my first research group after relentless bullying that has cost me mental and neurological issues that I will carry for the rest of my life. I am now in a better research group but I am in my third year. I will likely be here for another three years.

Everything in life is so frenetic right now. I am constantly racing around the clock, my bipolar keeps me always busy in the lab. I don't really eat well and I still struggle with my mental health despite therapy and meds. I cannot imagine being in a relationship right now. I am always panicking about the next paper I have to write, the next group meeting, the deliverables necessary to keep my grant going, etc. I am constantly surviving and thriving.

The majority of PhD students, industry professionals in my field are all in relationships. They all have rings on their fingers and discuss how they did "x, y, z" with their partners. I can't help but feel like I am missing out. I feel like I must be inferior for being single.

1. The PhD is hard, but they somehow can pencil in a partner. They can pencil in time to have sex, connect, be vulnerable with each other. So, they show academic proficiency and social proficiency. I must be inadequate as I cannot do both at once in this point of my life.
2. We commonly say that to find a partner you have to meet the following pre-requisites: Love yourself first before letting others, and then you will find love when you least expect it. Since I am single still, does this mean I have not yet reached those two objectives? Should I be held accountable for this ineptitude?
3. Honestly, to partnered people, do you think any less of single people? Do you think they are single because they are have not met those pre-requisite steps?

I have been gay all my life however starting at about 22 (27 now) I have become increasingly interested in women. I never really knew my orientation growing up and only identified as gay because other people started calling me that in elementary school. I have an effeminate voice and the gesticulations, sadly.

I have been really hurt by women in the professional work setting so I do not know how to be vulnerable in front of a woman anymore. I would like to work on this in therapy. I have never been with women in the se*ual sense either. It would be my first time if you know what I mean.

I look at all the straight men around me and I feel funny. Like who is a feminine guy exploring women for his first time in his thirties? That is so silly and laughable. I am jealous of straight men currently married, in relationships... because they have had ALL the practice necessary to score women, please them o-rgasm wise, and everything else.

Would you judge me or think me less than? Chuckle at me?

I am trying to simulate the electrical double layer, steric effects of a protic ionic liquid (triethanolamine oleate) about an onion-like carbon nanoparticle. by onion like, I mean a series of three fullerenes overlaid together concentrically in avogadro: a C720, a C320, and C60. what really complicates this is that I have an oxidized onion like carbon nanoparticle meaning that each outer shell Carbon has an O-H hanging off of it. I have mol2's of the oxidized outershell of the onion-like carbon nanoparticle, the triethanolammonium ion, the oleate ion, and the ethanol solvent. I have been using ambertools via ubuntu linux wsl. I get the frcmods of all of those mol2s but when making the LeaP file I get "fatal errors" such as:

My end goal is to prepare this system for Lammps and then a visualizer. I want to obtain graphs of the radial distribution functions, charge densities, zeta potentials etc.

Could not find angle parameter for atom types: c3 - oh - H

        for atom C at position 2.336000, 5.982000, 10.550000,             atom O at position 2.606000, 6.675000, 11.771000,         and atom H at position 2.788000, 7.140000, 12.592000.

ATOMS NOT BONDED: .R<UNL 1>.A<N 4> .R<UNL 1>.A<H 3> !FATAL ERROR---------------------------------------- !FATAL: In file [/home/conda/feedstock_root/build_artifacts/ambertools_1740608186959/work/AmberTools/src/leap/src/leap/atom.c], line 444 !FATAL: Message: bondAtomProblem found ! !ABORTING.

I am trying to simulate the electrical double layer, steric effects of a protic ionic liquid (triethanolamine oleate) about an onion-like carbon nanoparticle. by onion like, I mean a series of three fullerenes overlaid together concentrically in avogadro: a C720, a C320, and C60. what really complicates this is that I have an oxidized onion like carbon nanoparticle meaning that each outer shell Carbon has an O-H hanging off of it. I have mol2's of the oxidized outershell of the onion-like carbon nanoparticle, the triethanolammonium ion, the oleate ion, and the ethanol solvent. I have been using ambertools via ubuntu linux wsl. I get the frcmods of all of those mol2s but when making the LeaP file I get "fatal errors" such as:

My end goal is to prepare this system for Lammps and then a visualizer. I want to obtain graphs of the radial distribution functions, charge densities, zeta potentials etc.

Could not find angle parameter for atom types: c3 - oh - H
        for atom C at position 2.336000, 5.982000, 10.550000,
            atom O at position 2.606000, 6.675000, 11.771000,
        and atom H at position 2.788000, 7.140000, 12.592000.





ATOMS NOT BONDED: .R<UNL 1>.A<N 4> .R<UNL 1>.A<H 3>
!FATAL ERROR----------------------------------------
!FATAL: In file [/home/conda/feedstock_root/build_artifacts/ambertools_1740608186959/work/AmberTools/src/leap/src/leap/atom.c], line 444
!FATAL: Message: bondAtomProblem found
!
!ABORTING.