u/CarefullyCognizant

My husband (30M) and I (30F) have been married just about two years, together for 6. He was dx ADHD in elementary school and was medicated for most of his childhood. He eventually went off the meds in HS because he didn’t like how they made him feel & they were affecting levels of something in his organs that his doctor didn’t like.

I want to first say that I love this man. He is pure of heart, works hard, does things for me on a regular basis that I am so grateful for. I know he loves me, values me and wants me to feel cared for. But his actions when it comes to actually following through on household things do not make me feel loved.

It is practically a monthly basis of me asking for support, him saying he will, doing a few things but not finishing anything, and then waiting until the absolute last possible moments when I’m resentful and angry and stressed because I now feel like if it’s going to get done I have to do it (like today, when my family is coming over at 4 PM & at noon I’m frantically doing everything he said he would do over the past 2 weeks that I’ve been mentioning they’re coming & that I’d really appreciate his help; plus what I planned to do today).

It seems like I have to be at this point, frantically doing all the things, for him to contribute and then he gets sad and mopey that I’m upset with him. It’s getting to a point where I feel distrustful and resentful of him over things as minor as doing the freaking dishes and not letting them get moldy over the course of a MONTH. (I’ve been trying to not swoop in and do things after he says he’ll do them, and it has not helped at all. It just belabors the pain because he’ll do the bare minimum amount of dishes he needs in order to make something and then not wash those after so he didn’t even make a dent in the sink.)

I’m so angry and disappointed and hurt by this continued lack of care. To top it off, we have been trying to get pregnant for a few months and I hate that I have this thought, but part of me is truly wondering if I’m insane to add a baby to this stress load. I can only imagine how overwhelmed he will be with a newborn & then I’ll be doing everything for all 3 of us.

In the past I have floated the idea of us paying someone to come in weekly or monthly to clean (we both travel for work so time is limited) and he was negative about it and said basically we need to do it ourselves. But he doesn’t do it at all. Which puts it on me if I want the house to be somewhat clean. And I am just so tired of crying and asking him to do better. I welcome your constructive advice. ♥️

I have always wanted to name my son after my dad, but I don’t love my dad’s first name. LOL. I love the nicknames but not super crazy about it in full.

If your dad’s name was Benjamin, and you named your son Bennett, but planned to call him “Benny” or “Ben”, which is also what your dad goes by, would you feel like that was clearly and sufficiently honoring the person, enough to say “in honor of his granddad”? Or is it too derivative & ok to just know in my heart that’s what we did? 😂 I guess I’m trying to decide if my dad would be super touched immediately or if he’d be like “love the new guy, but what do you mean in honor of me?”

Let me knowwwww, thanks friends!

Hi TTCers ♥️ I (30F) and my husband (30M) have been TTC for about 6 months. We don’t have any children yet.

I am working with my doctor now on some testing to see what we can find out. My periods are irregular so it’s not as straightforward for me to know when I am ovulating or if I am.

All this said, we have traditionally gone on a vacation with my extended family every other summer, for a week to the beach. We rent a large beach house and 15-20+ of us go. Adults and kids. We have to commit a year in advance and pay (so it’s due this month for next July). We want to go, but every month that passes and I’m not pregnant, I start to wonder — will I get pregnant before that? What if I’m too far along to travel, or we have a 2 or 3 month old, is it rude to bring a baby that small on a group trip not knowing if they’ll sleep well or be colicky, fussy, etc? It feels crazy because my primary question is whether they will even EXIST by then…anyway! I am wondering how you have navigated this planning in the unknown. And let’s say we do have a baby…what’s the youngest you would travel with a baby for a family trip where that many people would be sleeping in one house? We’ve been doing this trip for 6 years or so, and the youngest child that has traveled with us was 18 months that year.

Appreciate your insights, thank you so much in advance!