u/Careless-Welcome-508

I'm a longtime Outlook for Mac (desktop app) user and honestly I have no idea why I'm still torturing myself like this. The issue du jour: All of a sudden MOST of my email invitations to external email addresses never reach their destination. This started about 2-3 days ago. I was checking with a client to make sure they had a series of interviews I was lining up on their calendars and they said, "We have these 2, but NOT these 2." I double-checked and my own calendar showed I had created the invites, included them on the invite, etc. But they never received them. I created those two invites a second time, hit send. Nothing. Nothing received on their end. Nothing showing as sent in my sent mail. Occasionally one will get through (the less content I put in the body of the invitation, the more likely it is to go through - but that doesn't consistently resolve the issue). For context, I am on a MacBook Pro, using my own domain that is served by Google/gmail. I have that gmail email address (myname@mydomain.com) set up NOT using the "automatically sync with gmail" option because that previously gave me different headaches.

Apologies for the length. I think I'm just venting, but I'd also be open to hearing thoughts, suggestions, criticism or support.

I (F, late 50s) and my husband (M, early 60s) have been married for 35 - almost 36 years. We have two young adult kids mostly out of the house. My husband is a lifelong conservative, dating back to a time when that simply felt like two sides of the aisle, not completely different universes like it is today. I was very young and politically naive when we got married. Grew up with parents who were not American and did not have citizenship until I was a young adult (I had a green card until my mid-20s although I qualified for citizenship well before that - and well before marriage in case anyone assumes I married him to become a citizen). I say that because politics and "voting" were not frequent topics in my childhood home. My Dad worked a career that was like a lifestyle we were all part of, and we were surrounded by people from our home country even in the US. I married my husband knowing that we had different backgrounds. He grew up with a blue collar family in a city where 1970s busing and school integration efforts created a lot of chaos for the kids who lived through it. I grew up somewhat affluent in a suburban area where Friday night football rivalries were as dangerous as things got. I always thought some of his red flags were more about his environment and experiences growing up so differently from me. But fundamentally we were both kind people who cared about others.

After our kids were born, my husband went through a lot of unexpected trauma with his family - a series of losses (he's now lost both parents and both siblings), a brother who was a drug addict and his parents basically losing their home trying to support him, excluding my husband from the family (and their dysfunction) for trying to help them before it was too late, etc. Around that same time period is when the Tea Party kicked into gear, Obama became President, etc. He listened to conservative radio (not FOX news, but conservative talk radio - both local and national) all day long. He began reading primarily conservative news sources online (Breitbart, etc.). By the time Trump came along, he was fully sold. I want to add that he is an extremely smart and well-read guy. He's not dumb, he's not uninformed, he can tell you why he believes everything he believes, he knows American history and political history in a way I will never know. He is not one of those blind faith followers you see interviewed at a rally who just repeats talking points. But he's fully fallen down the "Democrats evil, Republicans good" rabbit hole and increasingly believes conspiracy-level shit (like "Paul Pelosi was attacked in his home by his gay lover," not by a mentally ill guy who was pursuing Nancy Pelosi).

Initially, when this first really took hold,I was trying to keep our family together because the kids were still in school. And I honestly thought once Trump was out of office, things would settle back down. But it's very clear that this is his new lifelong worldview that only gets deeper by the day. And now the kids are adults. I am free to make a move.

I've lost a lot of respect for him. Our "safe" topics have become few and far between. And I really can't imagine a life where I never know if he's going to invoke language like "libtards," accuse me of being a "socialist" or a "sheep," or we're going to clash over some relatively innocuous something that to him is emblematic of all that's wrong in the world.

My issues are:

1. I have been the breadwinner most of our marriage. He was a stay-at-home Dad for several years (although I was self-employed, working from home, and handled all the school stuff, activity planning, meal planning, etc. - he executed the things I planned). He does not have a college degree and always talked himself out of his potential for a career because of it ("nobody will hire me without a degree"). During the recession in 2009ish, I begged him to get a job to help compensate for the roller coaster of my income at the time and he picked up some seasonal work for a while, but once things picked back up for me, he stopped. Fast forward to today and he has been working FT the past 7-8 years and gets our health insurance (which is huge for a self-employed household), but doesn't earn a lot of direct income and hates his job. Talks often about quitting. If we divorce, I will have to split everything (all of our retirement savings came from my income) and owe him alimony until I stop working because of the discrepancy in our incomes. I hate this, but I keep telling myself that I would feel differently if a stay-at-home mom didn't get support from her working husband. It's just that I tried to get him to work for a long time. Anyway...

2. He's just a couple of years from retirement (theoretically), has some health problems (not major, but he's slowing down noticeably), and he's alone. His immediate family have all died. I feel guilty about leaving him fully alone at this stage of his life. He does have some friends - both where we live now and where he's from - but not a real "support" system. I don't know what he'd do, where he'd live, etc. IDK. Maybe it's what he actually needs?

3. I just never foresaw this. As our kids go out on their own, I always imagined becoming grandparents and having holidays together, etc. I feel like I'd be the one creating a rift in our family structure and changing what "family" means for all of us. (FWIW, my daughter is liberal like me, my son is conservative like him. I do think my son would be devastated while my daughter has seen the writing on the wall for a while.)

4. He tells me he loves me ALL the time. He seems to think there is no problem between us. (My therapist says he knows and is trying not to address it.) We did therapy together years ago - during the throes of what was going on with his family - and he doesn't see a need to go again.

The common advice if you still love someone and you're in this situation is "just don't talk politics," but it's inescapable. Everything has become politicized. And I know a lot of people are like, "I could never. I'd leave him so fast." I'm just confused and INERT. And feeling like a bitch if I leave, but that I'm sacrificing my happiness if I don't.

TLDR: What is your best reco for a dupe to these jeans (cut, fit, wash) in the less than $200 price point?

Alice & Olivia Bella

Context: My daughter really wants these jeans. She ordered a pair to try on because she was obsessed with them, but they got delivered to the wrong building (luckily insured), but now they are out of stock in her size. She wasn’t sure they would fit and she didn’t want really to spend this kind of $$, but wanted to see if they were amazing and actually worth it.

I’ve been casually trying to find a lower price point alternative (like $100-$150ish - maybe as long as it’s under $200) for her to try. What would be your best dupe to this cut, fit, and wash? For reference, she is 5’7” and curvier in butt/thighs. Sometimes wears a curvy fit and sometimes doesn’t depending on style/brand. This “extra low-rise” might have actually been too low-rise for her, but she prefers low to mid-rise, not high. She also has strong calves so jeans that fit slim all the way down and then just flare at the ankle can sometimes cling to her calves more than she likes.

https://www.aliceandolivia.com/bella-jean/CD511301138H972.html