How did you decide to be a SAHM?
I’m not really sure what I’m looking for here, but hoping to just vent a little and see if anyone else has been in this situation. I have 3 kids ages 7, 5, and 3 months. I’ve never considered being a stay at home mom until this baby. I’ve always been in healthcare, but 3 years ago I took what I would have considered my dream job in healthcare leadership. It’s Monday through Friday in hospital from 7-4, but it’s truly 24/7. I make decent money at 100k, but it’s a lot mentally. I take a lot home with me. I have hardly been mentally present for my older 2 children and I hadn’t really noticed that until maternity leave. I feel free without the burden of having to answer calls/emails at all hours of the day and night.
My husband is super supportive in me staying home in the short term because he knows how stressful my job is, we’re financially okay (he makes around 250k), and my kids are happier with me home obviously. He has previously done most of the drop offs, pick ups, and morning routines. He works at home half the week, in office the other from 8-5, and travels for work.
Despite how terrible I make my job sound, I am conflicted. I have postpartum anxiety and the thought of sending my 3 month old to full time daycare is devastating. But I worked so hard to get to the job and am terrified of pausing my career, potentially starting over again at the bedside, and telling my staff that I adore that I won’t be coming back. I’m also scared of the loneliness that comes with staying at home. My husband and I have talked about me going back PRN or part time (12 hour shifts) in a year or so.
If you have been in a similar position, how did you know what was the right decision? It seems obvious that my family should come first, but I can’t seem to make a decision.
Side note: in therapy and on medication for my anxiety.