Can't log in to Windows laptop

I have an older laptop (MSI GS75) that I use once or twice a month. Today I tried to enter Windows 11 using my PIN like I normally do, and it said:

>This sign-in option is disabled because of failed sign-in attempts or repeated shutdowns. Use a different sign-in option, or keep your device powered on for at least 2 hours and then try again.

So I tried my password but the password I have written down for Microsoft didn't work, it said:

>Your device is offline. Please sign in with the last password used on this device.

The laptop is shown as connected to WiFi.

Well I guess I don't know what the last password I used on this device is, I usually use a PIN and I've changed my Microsoft password multiple times since I last used it on this laptop.

So, I chose to update my password. Verified through an authenticator app, then it asks me to do the two-step verification. It has my email address automatically selected and asks me to enter the exact same email address below it in a field where it's already automatically filled in. Doesn't make any sense to me as a security step, but whatever.

Then I got the email on my phone (despite my laptop supposedly not being connected to the internet) and entered the code and it allowed me to update my password.

Now when I try to log in with the new password:

>Your device is offline. Please sign in with the last password used on this device.

It's not offline! So I plugged it directly into my router, taking the ethernet cable from my desktop PC that I know is working, and plug it into the laptop, and reboot it for the 5th or 6th time at this point.

>Your device is offline. Please sign in with the last password used on this device.

PIN number still doesn't work.

So I boot into safe mode and there's no icon for the WiFi at all. I plug in the Ethernet cord and there's no indication of whether or not it's connected.

>The password is incorrect. Try Again.

Does that mean it thinks it has internet now? But it's 100% the new password I set.

So I decide to try resetting the password again. Back into regular boot mode, back into WiFi, attempt to change the password to the same new one I just set it to a little while ago, and

>You used an old password. To protect your account, choose a new password.

SO IT'S OBVIOUSLY CONNECTED TO THE INTERNET.

Try to log in with the new password,

>Your device is offline. Please sign in with the last password used on this device.

Any thought before I chuck it across the living room? Just kidding, I'd just wipe it if it didn't an important and unattainable piece of software on it. I guess I could pull the drive.

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