for context, at least for my location we are expected to sell minimum 10 cakes a day. 5 in the morning and 5 in the afternoon.
My manager made like a “manager special” and it’s a meal that includes a cake to get our cake sales up, i’m just curious if anyone else has something similar or not 😭
do u guys ever get the realization of existing. Like realizing you’re actually real and becoming overly aware of your existence. it freaks me out for a bit but end up forgetting about it later.
tomorrow is my birthday. I seem to always remember other’s birthdays but every time mine comes around it’s just another reminder of how little i matter and how forgettable i am to everyone else lol .
This will be pretty long since i’ve had these feelings bottled up for my whole life pretty much.
I am F19. I wanna start off by saying that i’m completely aware that people are going to tell me “i have my whole life ahead of me” and all this other stuff but i truly feel like i will end up alone for the rest of my life .
Growing up i was always a chubby girl which got me bullied a ton, which is why i put in the work and eventually did lose the weight. When i made it to high school i still was not in any relationships, meanwhile my friends were maybe on their 3rd boyfriend lmao.
I always knew i wasn’t that attractive but always had that mentality of “the right person will come eventually”. My parents always told me to put my education first and that i’m not allowed to date until i am finished with college. I thought i was going to have those cute cliches where you “sneak out to see your boyfriend” type things but… it never came along.
This is not something i’m proud of but important to mention for you to understand the severity of my loneliness. I used to always frequent sites like omegle (before it was taken down) and ome . tv and i would put on my best outfit, cute hairstyle and put on makeup just to talk with guys (this is the only sort of “male attention” i have ever received my whole life). I’d also go on apps like wizz that aren’t like dating apps (but teens that used the app treated it like one). So i’d go on there trying to get as much attention from guys as i could get . It got so bad i’d be on these apps for long periods of time for many months in a row.
Recently after graduating this feeling has been building up inside of me where i truly believe i will never be in a relationship but this incident that happened at work just made it 10x worse. I was working ( i work in fast food ) and i took this man’s order (he looked to be in his 50’s) and he hit on me. I don’t want to get into any details of what he said since i can’t remember that well since i was so shocked in the moment. Any other normal girl would feel grossed out and try to ignore it. Not me. I ran to my workplace’s bathroom and started to sob uncontrollably. In my mind, i started to think that the only thing i could possibly attract are old men and will never be attractive for anyone my own age, hence why the feeling of being alone together got even worse after this.
I truly believe i will end up alone and never find anyone that i can share my life with. This isn’t even about me being “picky” or having “high standards” ….literally no male has ever willing wanted to interact with me aside from the guy that i mentioned.
I’m tired of girls with relationships telling me to focus on myself and to just “put myself out there more” I just wish someone going thru the same thing as me can help me out . I just want to feel loved and romantically wanted for once in my life .
I’m in my second year of college now and things are still not looking up at all. Granted life is not just about relationships but it really is sending me down a spiral and don’t know what to do
Any replies are appreciated and thank you for taking your time to read this.